soul surfer

By Julie Wilson

Poster from Wikipedia

The other night our family watched the movie, Soul Surfer. It is a true story about a young woman who loves to surf. She lives in Hawaii, a perfect place for surfing to be a major part of her life. But after a shark attack changes her life forever, she is faced with a lot of questions.

Her faith in God is presented throughout the movie, as well as her family’s belief in God. After the attack, she is faced with the question, “Why?” She asks her youth minister why God allowed this attack to happen to her. How many times have we asked God that same question when faced with something terrible or something that we don’t understand?

This young woman, Bethany, has to find her purpose again. Before her attack she lived to surf, but you see throughout the movie how she changes. She goes on a mission trip and realizes there is more to life than just being a good surfer.

After the movie, we had a great discussion with our children. We talked about how Bethany’s faith helped her get through the most difficult challenge she had ever faced. We also talked about how God can take something terrible and use it for His glory.

I will say as a disclaimer, our girls ages 7 and 9 did turn away and not watch the part with the shark attack. We were being cautious, and we didn’t want them to be afraid. Overall though, we highly recommend the movie, it was a great starting point to have a discussion with our kids about how God gives us the strength to help us work through our fears and challenges.

Experiencing God’s Creation

By Julie Wilson

A couple of weeks ago my family and I took a trip down to Hannibal, MO. We went to explore and take a tour of the Mark Twain Cave. My kids had never been in a real cave before, so they were all pretty excited.

It was awesome! Our tour guide did an excellent job telling us stories about the cave and giving fun facts about it. She even made all the kids jump when she turned off all the lights to show us how dark it truly is in the cave, and then yelled really loudly as she was telling a story in the dark.

When we got back to my sister’s house that night we were all still buzzing about the cave. It was a great opportunity for us to talk about the beauty of the cave and how awesome it was that God created it. A lot of times we don’t stop to recognize the wonder of God’s creation and His detail, but this was one of those moments when we had a great conversation talking about how much we do appreciate God’s magnificent creation and were just in awe of Him.

The next night my dad took all the kids outside to do some stargazing. He had his binoculars and all the kids took turns looking up into the sky. My sisters live out in the country, so the brilliance of the stars there is unlike what we see living in the city.

This was once again another opportunity for us to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation. I encourage you to find times this summer with your family to experience the beautiful world God graciously gave to us. What are ways you have done this in the past? 

Saying Sorry

By Julie Wilson

If you are like me, you will be on vacation this summer, and around extended family. My sisters all live in Illinois with their families, and we only get to see them a couple times a year. The cousins all get along really well, but kids being kids, there tends to be an occasional argument or fight. There happened to be an argument this morning between my niece and nephew over a toy. They both wanted to play with it at the same time, so one pushed the other, and the other started crying.

When my own children get into an argument with one another, and are angry, they usually do not want to be around the one they are mad at. But, my husband and I have always made the kids say sorry and apologize to one another for the fight. We try to get them both to calm down, take a deep breath, and realize what they did wrong in the situation. Then we have them not only say they are sorry, but ask for forgiveness. Just saying sorry did not seem like enough. We want our children to realize that they need to not only ask for forgiveness, but then also extend forgiveness to the one that hurt them.

Kids of course can be very stubborn, and may not want to say they are sorry, or offer forgiveness because they feel truly hurt by the other one. But if you stay consistent, and patiently wait, they will learn that this is the process by which they need to solve their disputes in a healthy, God-honoring way. 

We also have the two who are in the argument kiss and hug one another. We are a very affectionate family, so this seems to work well for us. It usually helps soothe the hurt feelings or the pain. Today, my nephew was being stubborn, as any five-year-old can be, but we patiently waited for him to say he was sorry and calm down, so he could hug his cousin and make things right between them. If you establish these guidelines early on with your children, they will learn about forgiveness in a way that will only help them in their relationships later on in life.

teachable moments

By Julie Wilson

This last week my family received some heart-breaking news. My sister, who was 14 weeks pregnant, lost her baby. This was her second miscarriage and just as difficult to understand as the first one. I myself lost two babies, and all of my sisters have as well. Unfortunately, we all understand the devastating loss and deep sadness that accompanies a miscarriage.

When my brother-in-law called me to tell me he was taking my sister to the hospital, I immediately got off the phone and started praying. It was early in the morning, so my two oldest had already headed off to school, and my little girls were still upstairs asleep. I was praying through my tears and pleading with God to not let my sister lose another baby. I had to compose myself enough to call the rest of the family, letting them know so that they all could be praying for my sister.

When I got off the phone with my youngest sister, I heard my little girls upstairs stirring. I went upstairs to talk to them about what was happening. I could not hide my fear. They saw me crying and hugged me, comforting me. We stopped right then and there in the bathroom to pray. I wanted my little ones to know how important it was to include God in that moment.

We got the news later in the day that my sister had, in fact, lost the baby. I had to tell my two oldest children when they got home from school. We were all terribly sad. But I knew I had an opportunity to teach my children about God’s love and peace in this moment.

I have recalled verses from Psalm 34 through this:

I will extol the Lord at all times, his praise will always be on my lips…I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them, he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I want my children to know that even though this happened, we still trust and believe that God is love. We may not understand why this happened, but I want my children to know that in times like these, it is even more vital that we turn to God and not away from Him.

That’s Not Fair!

By Julie Wilson

Editor's Note: To go alongside Katharine's "World of No" post from Tuesday, here's Julie's take on telling teens no.

If you are a parent, more than likely you have heard your child say to you, “That’s not fair!” If you have not heard those words, I can almost guarantee at some point that you will. I recently heard them from my teenage daughter. She wanted to stay after school for an event, but we did not give her permission to do so, and so she uttered those words out of frustration.

To a teenager, not getting permission to do what he or she wants can seem like the end of the world. Believe me, I remember! But as a parent of a teenager, I now understand how critical it is to have those boundaries in place. When my daughter complained about it not being fair, she really was just upset that she was not getting her way. Is life fair? No, of course not. What would life be like for our children if they always got what they wanted? I don’t want to find that out.

Our children may not always understand or agree with our decisions as parents, but it is our duty to raise them in a way that is most honoring to God. If that means telling them no sometimes, then don’t be afraid of their complaints. My daughter may not have been happy about the fact that we did not grant her permission to do what she wanted, but she trusts and loves us, and knows we are only thinking of what is in her best interest.

Children need limits. It is up to us as their parents to have clearly defined limits, so that children know what is expected of them. Regardless of the ages of your children, do not be afraid to tell them no. You may get a response like I did---“That’s not fair”---but you are teaching them a valuable lesson. You will be helping to shape him or her into an unselfish, respectful child of God. So keep saying, “No!”

peacemaker

By Julie Wilson

This year, my son has ridden the bus to school, which at times has made me a little apprehensive. When you watch the news and hear about all the bullying and fights that happen on school buses, it makes me nervous. But throughout this school year, he has felt safe and we have had no reason for alarm, until last week. My son left the house last Wednesday at the same time he always does to catch his bus. I got a phone call from him five minutes after he had left. He had forgotten to have me sign his progress report and was in a panic about what to do. He knew that if he showed up at school without me having signed it, he would get automatic detention. As he was on the phone with me a boy on his bus kept trying to yell into his phone. This boy kept getting in my son’s face and just started messing with him.

My son kept telling the boy to stop but he didn’t. So, out of frustration my son pushed the boy to get him out of his face. The boy tripped, fell, and got up extremely mad. He came up swinging and hit my son in the side of his head. The boy kept trying to punch my son, and my son was just trying to block the punches. Earlier I had told him to get off the bus at the next stop and I would come pick him up, sign his report, and then just take him to school. I had no idea all this was happening while he was on the phone with me.

Needless to say, when my son told us about what had happened on the bus we were extremely upset. We talked with him on Thursday morning about what he was going to do on the bus with this kid around. He seemed anxious before heading out the door, so my husband and I prayed with him before he left. My husband talked with him about being a peacemaker and reminded him that that is what Jesus would want him to be. Throughout the day I kept praying for my son and was trying not to worry, but I was extremely nervous about him being back on the bus with that kid on there.

When my son got home from school I immediately started asking questions. He was very calm and relaxed, so I began to lighten up a bit. He said nothing bad happened on the bus that day. When the boy got on the bus that morning, my son went right over to him and apologized for pushing him. He told the boy he was frustrated with him but that he should not have pushed him. He then stuck his hand out for them to shake hands. The boy accepted his apology, shook hands, and then apologized himself for having hit my son. I was so proud of him in that moment. He said, “I just kept thinking I needed to be a peacemaker and so I did what I thought would keep the peace.”

Am I still a little apprehensive about my son riding the bus to school? Yes, of course! But knowing that he is trying to live a life that honors Christ, and live out the message of Matthew 5:9 helps me to be more at peace myself.

God’s Garden

By Julie Wilson

My family and I have recently been volunteering with a community garden. About a month ago, we helped get all the beds ready for planting. We pulled weeds, picked out trash, and shoveled in compost. Then we planted carrots. This last week when we went back, the girls got to see the carrots starting to grow and they also helped plants herbs.

For us, living in an urban city has many advantages. But one disadvantage is that we do not have a yard to plant a garden. Being able to help our neighbors plant fresh food for those not able to grow produce on their own has been a joy for us. Last year, the majority of the food from this community garden was given away to the Greater Boston Food Bank and other non-profit organizations for those in need. This has been a great opportunity for my “city” kids to be a part of producing and cultivating a garden that they would not otherwise be able to experience.

If you live in an urban area I encourage you to find ways to have fresh produce. See if there is a community garden that you can volunteer at. Or try growing in pots or a small, raised bed. As we continue to help at the garden I hope this will teach my children about God’s goodness and His plan. God’s plan of creation and His design are amazing. It is incredible to think how God can take a tiny seed and grow it into a large, beautiful plant. He is the ultimate gardener!

1 Kings 17

By Julie Wilson 

I home school my two youngest girls, who are in third and first grades. Recently, Jonah has been studying the story from the Bible, found in I Kings 17. A widowed mother is down to her last bit of flour and oil, only enough left to make one small loaf of bread. Elijah comes along and asks the woman to first make him some bread and give it to him before she and her son eat. I’ve heard this story before, but this time it really struck me as we read it. As a mother, I don’t know if I would have the compassion that this mother did to give away some of the food that was intended for my starving child. Especially to a stranger whose God I did not know or believe in! If my child were hungry, I would want to do everything I could to provide food for them. The thought of giving away the very nourishment that could help save my child from hunger is one that I cannot comprehend. Yet, Elijah promises her that if she fulfills his request the Lord will not let her flour or oil run dry until the day the Lord sends rain. And this is exactly what happens. God blessed her compassion and willingness to share with another who was in need. I pray that God will help me to have a heart that would be so willing.

Growing a Spiritually Strong Family

By Julie Wilson

I highly recommend the book I just read, Growing A Spiritually Strong Family, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. I initially picked it up because I felt like I needed some fresh advice and wisdom from other parents. It exceeded my expectations and gave many, practical suggestions.

One idea that I immediately put into practice is making Scripture more easily accessible to the children. I have begun to write a Scripture verse on a blank piece of paper and post it on our fridge. Throughout the day we practice reciting the verse. By the end of the week, we have seen it and said it so many times, that the kids have it memorized. We are on week five of memorizing new Scripture verses, and now the kids get excited about helping choose the new one we will learn for the week.

As a Christian mother I want my children to know and love God. I also want them to have God’s word as the driving force behind their thoughts and actions. God’s Word is a guide for our children to live by. Posting Scripture on our fridge is one small way I am trying to reinforce the importance of Scripture in all our lives.

Meet: Julie Wilson

By Julie Wilson & Karen Brown

Julie Wilson is married to Hank Wilson, lead pastor of Reunion Christian Church. They live in South Boston with their four kids: son, Trey (11), and daughters Alex (14), Jonah (9) and Andie (7).  She homeschools Jonah and Andie, and homeschooled all four up until two years ago. She has led women’s support groups through the church and loves seeing how God can heal and transform lives. She loves going to the beach with her family, which is a great way for them to relax and reconnect. They love being in Boston as part of a church plant and seeing lives impacted by God’s grace.

Question: Describe your perfect day.
A perfect day for me would be back in Illinois at my aunt’s house. In the summer we all converge at her house and spend our days swimming in the pool, laughing and making new memories. I love being with my three sisters and their families and seeing our kids all play together. Living in Boston has caused me to cherish those days and times with my extended family so much more.

Question: Do you have a specific vision for your family that’s beyond just surviving the day? if so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos?
My vision for my children is that they will grow up knowing and loving the Lord. I want them each to have a relationship with God that is genuine and active. If they love God with all their hearts, then loving His people should ultimately be a direct result of that. Hank and I pray for our children every day and keep this hope before God and before them. When some days are stressful or challenging, we always come back to this prayer and it keeps us focused on what is important.

Question: What resource most influenced you as a parent?
The book that most influenced me as a parent is a book by Barbara Coloroso called, “Kids are Worth It!” When I was pregnant with Trey, Hank and I saw Ms. Coloroso speak at a conference and were very moved by what she said. We bought her book and it really helped shape who we are as parents. She really teaches parents how to treat children with respect and keep their dignity intact while disciplining them. She helps you to see that your goal should be to teach your children to do the right thing, not for hope of reward or for fear of punishment, but because it is the right thing to do. I highly recommend her book.

Question: How do you pray with your children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictated?
We do pray as a family before every meal and also before bedtime. But we also pray throughout the day as needs or praises arise. If I am driving in the van with the kids and we see an ambulance go by, we pray right then for whoever is sick in the ambulance. This shows the kids that we may not know the details but God does. When my sister recently called to tell us she was pregnant, the kids and I prayed, thanking God for their new, baby cousin and for God’s faithfulness in answering prayers. If you can teach your kids to pray to God at any moment and not just at set times, you can help them to see God as a friend who is always there.