How To Turn A Long Distance Car Trip Into An Adventure

By Katharine Grubb

We were all wearing masks and mustaches to keep our identities a secret. My oldest son tracked the speed of our minivan as we cruised down the Interstate. My older daughters read signs looking for “code words” on billboards. My youngest son made checklist of sports cars that he saw, believing they could be “the bad guy”. And my youngest daughter drew a picture, of a princess most likely, but that princess was on a mission to uncover the secret plot. We were the Mustachioed Seven and we were a group of super heroes on a mission, not only to drive cross-country from Massachusetts to Oklahoma, but also to stop our archenemies from taking over the world.

It was not, as one might think, an ordinary packed mini-van on a 3-day road trip. It was, in fact, an adventure. And it was worth the extra planning to make it memorable for my family.

I admit. I had enough to do preparing for the trip: all the laundry, packing, cleaning the house, buying snacks, preparing the car, booking hotel rooms, and tending to the other million little details. But I found that the time I invested in planning the fun, the more excited the kids became, and the more memories that we made.

You can make your cross-country trip exciting too. All you need is a little advance planning and enthusiasm, and your children (especially those four years old and older) will look forward to being stuck in the car for hours. Or days.


Getting Started

Consider a theme for the trip. You aren’t just a family packed into a mini-van; you are a big boatload of pirates. Or you’re going on a jungle safari. Or you’re riding a magic carpet. From your choice of theme, pack hats, bandanas, masks, toilet-paper tube binoculars, and eye patches. Then as you collect activities to do in the car, stick to the theme. None of these have to be expensive; in fact most of ours were handmade.

Assign vacation names. During our Angry Birds road trip, we all had bird related names. Mine was Duchess Chachalaca and I took great delight when my children addressed me as such at rest stops. We also made nametags and wore them everywhere. The names have become such an integral part of our vacations that once we put it on the calendar, what will your name be this year?, is our next question.


Collect Media

Have a DVD player in your car? That’s great, use it! But remember that passively watching a movie doesn’t really promote family togetherness or encourage people to enjoy the scenery or stimulate creativity. Watch DVDs sparingly, when your family is the most tired or cranky.

Check out books on CD from your local library: Elementary age kids would enjoy The Magic Tree House series, Little House in the Big Woods, Stuart Little, A Cricket In Times Square. Older kids would like Fairy Tale Detectives, Sarah Plain and Tall, Holes or The Chronicles of Narnia. Ask your librarian for books that may fit your theme. Audiobooks take up hours and are more mentally engaging than a movie.

And don’t forget the music! Check out what CDs your library has to offer. You may find the perfect soundtrack for your adventure or an obscure musician that you really love.

Do you have an iPod jack in your car? Download podcasts that everyone can enjoy. No iPod? Burn a CD of your favorite songs. (We like to stick to the theme. During the Angry Birds drive, all our songs were either about traveling or birds. It was awesome!)


Plan to Keep Hands Busy

Moms everywhere know that busy hands are less likely to get into trouble. So on our road trips, each kid gets a customized binder (with their vacation name on it, of course) filled with printed coloring pages, mazes, crossword puzzles, etc. If you can, print out two work pages per hour you’re in the car (and don’t forget the trip home). Three-hole punch the bottom of a gallon size Ziploc bag and put the bag in the binder. The bag had hold pencils and crayons. The binder is kept in the children’s carry-on bag with other activity books and personal items.


Promote Communication and Play

You’re trapped in a car with your family -- take advantage of it! Plan to play together.

-Play old car trip standards: The ABC game, Slug Bug (which should be modified to TouchBug, of course), license plates list, etc.

-Tell stories. Someone starts a story (possibly related to your theme) (“Once upon a time, there were five pirates who were sailing across the ocean in search of an island that held their treasure. When suddenly a big whale overturned their ship! Then . . .” ) Allow each family member to add something to the story.

-Ask questions of each other that get people talking like:

• Who do you really admire?
• What three foods could you not live without?
• What do you think is creepy?
• What are the three happiest moments in your life so far?
• If you had a million dollars what would you do?
• What animated character do you most identify with? Why?
• Would you rather not have summer or not have winter?

Do an Internet search for more questions and take them with you. Not only are you finding out more about your family, you’re also killing a lot of time!

-Estimate: Ask each member of the family to guess these things:

• How long will it take to cross the next state line?
• How much money will it cost us to fill up with gas?
• How many cows will we see in the next fifteen minutes?
• How many McDonalds will we see in this state?

Record everyone’s estimation. The one who is the closest to being correct gets a treat. The “loser” has to sing “Happy Birthday” as loud as he can at the next rest stop.

-Play Mad Libs (plenty of printables online!)

Just because your body can’t move, doesn’t mean your mind can’t be active. Talking and playing together will make the drive go by faster.


Encourage Down Time

This is when you can get back to individual computer games or iPods, Daddy can have a little peace, and Mom can get some shut-eye. After a rousing game of Slug Bug, everyone will need a little breather. You can’t get out of the car, so it’s okay to check out mentally for a while as long as you come back later to enjoy the rest of the adventure.

So, as you prepare the car (don’t forget hand sanitizer and extra toilet paper), put a little thought into making your trip adventurous. You’ll be happy with the memories that you make and your whole family will have a great time.

Ways I've Grown As a Mom

By Katharine Grubb

I’ve brought five of them home from the hospital, so I know that babies change everything. Before I was a mother, I wasn’t all that concerned about dryness. And I never calculated actual hours slept during my daily morning ritual. I knew with my first daughter, that things would be different. What I didn’t know that the most profound difference was in how I would change. If I knew then, what I know now, I might have never left the hospital. But if I knew then, what I know now, then I’d see that my new responsibilities made me more like Jesus.

If I could go back to the overwhelmed and intimidated new mother I was in 1998 and tell her what I was going to be in 2012, this is what I would say:

1. I’M WAY MORE ORGANIZED

Despite the lengthy tirade I ignited on Facebook about the problem with 10-year-old-boys and the Sunday morning clean-jeans-with-holey-knees vs. dirty-jeans-without-holes issue, my household is generally run like a finely tuned machine. But it has taken years to work out the kinks of cleaning, cooking and general managing---and even then it’s not perfect. (And props to me for doing this long before Pinterest was around.)

2. I’M WAY MORE DISCIPLINED

I was told, as a naive college student, that I would never have as much time for myself as I did right then. Of course, I laughed at this. I wish I understood, many years ago, that there would come a time when my biggest personal goal was reading a book that didn’t have a princess in it. To find time, over the years I’ve developed disciplined habits to meet everybody’s needs. And I’m happy to say, that as my kids are getting older, I’m finding my me time is growing.

3. I’M SHOCKED AT HOW GIVING I AM

Oh, I’m still selfish, but in those moments when I give my child the last piece of toast that I wanted, or I gladly surrender a writing project for the sake of sitting at a doll’s “birthday party,” I wonder, "who have I become?" I wasn’t always like this. My kids are making me die to myself. This is a good thing.

4. I’M WAY MORE COMPASSIONATE

Now that I’m a mother, the stakes are higher. There are very real threats in the world against my family, like disease, crime, financial collapse, and freakish acts of nature. As a result, I’m more attuned to suffering of those who have not have been as blessed as I have. I empathize far more readily with bad days and skinned knees and the tragic world. My heart is breaking more and more for the things that breaks the heart of God and because of this, I can teach my children how to be compassionate.

5. I’M WAY MORE PROTECTIVE

Just ask the Kirby salesman who came to my door and wouldn’t take my no for an answer---I can be a real mean Momma Bear. I didn’t know, until that day, what it would take for me to get out my “claws” and protect my family. While I cringe over most of that story, I’m very proud of the fact that I stood firm. I didn’t back down. I protected my family from what I perceived as a threat. I have a confidence now I didn’t have before. Don’t mess with me, I’m a MOM!

6. I’M WAY MORE SELF-AWARE

Wanna intimidate a new mom? Tell her that all of her bad habits will be passed down to her children. Oh boy. I have found this to be true in my own children. As a result, I try to be aware of my own bad habits, my tones of voice and my own impatience. I try, try, try to always speak and behave in the way that Jesus does, but I often fail. This idea, that more is caught that taught---has changed me to realize how influential I am. And as a result of this . . .

7. I’M WAY MORE HUMBLE

If we aren’t humble enough when we have children, then God allows them to learn to talk and say things to others in public that make us want to hide under a rock. But even if that didn’t happen, I would find myself running to God frequently and whimpering, “I can’t do this. Help me!” I once read a blog called Clutching the Hem of His Garment, and I asked myself, why am I, like the writer of this blog, always in a place of desperation and neediness? Then I knew my answer. Is there really any better place to be?

8. I’M WAY MORE SKILLED

One of my childless friends asked me, “Can you teach me to cook?” I said, “Sure,” (and then my response wasn’t all that graceful). I said, “Step one. Get married. Step two. Choose to live frugally, making everything from scratch for every meal for the next sixteen years. Then you’ll know how to cook.” Motherhood has forced me to do hard things, like cooking, and be patient with myself and persevere through failure. Now, I know how to do many things I didn’t know how to do before. But I should probably work on being nicer when people ask me a question.

9. I’M WAY MORE COURAGEOUS

The first time I ever drove in Boston, was when I took my newborn to her first pediatric appointment. I drove from East Boston, through the tunnel, down Storrow Drive to Brighton, in a horrendous downpour. I was terrified. But it had to be done and I was the mother. Since then there have been many more scary incidents. This is one of the hardest parts of being a mother---being in charge when hell seems to break loose---but God has always shown me what to do and held me fast, so I don’t panic or give into my fear. Most of the time.

10. I’M WAY MORE DETERMINED

There are people in my life who have said, “there are no guarantees in life, so why try? Or, “homeschooling is way too hard, why don’t you do something easier?” Or, “you can’t.” Nothing gets me going than to have my vision for home and family criticized by others. You say I can’t? I say, “watch me.” When it was just me I worried about, I never had this much gumption, but then I often too easily believed what I was told. Not now. Now, I’m a mother!

11. I’M WAY MORE CREATIVE

This is my favorite part of being a mother---coming up with the stories to keep my children happy during a car trip, or coming up with a game that helps us pick up our toys, or making up a song about spring, or creating a Lord of the Rings birthday party on a budget. (Not to mention coming up with nutritious meals when there aren’t a whole lot of groceries in the house.) I love being able to give my creative self to those around me. I may never be famous for my creativity---but I’ve given it to the people I love the most and our home is happier for it.

12. I’M MORE CONFIDENT

I don’t go around with a cape calling myself Super Mom. But I do go around reminding myself that God is at work in me to make me strong and capable. There are plenty of areas to work on, but because I am a mother, I have done things and conquered things and savored things that I never thought I would. I am thankful for not only those little babies that came home from the hospital with me, but for Jesus who has used them to make me more like Him every single day.

What about you? How has God changed you since becoming a mom? What has surprised you about yourself?

what amazing thing are you going to do today?

By Katharine Grubb
 

My daughter Veronica, who is 6, thinks she can do everything.

She can add up to the thousands place, she can read, and she wants to clean the house. She has no concept of fear or hesitation or anything but complete acceptance. At our house, she tries and she’s proud of her accomplishments and if she messes up, it’s OK, she tries again. She has gone from preschooler to serious elementary school student in a very short time and she believes life is just like that---new challenges and new successes. I asked her one morning, “What amazing thing are you going to do today?”

It never occurs to her that she could be less than amazing.

Recently, over the course of three days, I had three different people ask me at different times how I manage to homeschool five children at a time. I told them about my day, what I expect, how the kids like it, and what we’ve accomplished. All three of these women were impressed. It should be noted that they are all homeschooling as well, but none of them have five children. And all of them called me “amazing” or something like that. (And all of them have skills and abilities that make me drop my jaw in bewilderment.) My response to them was modest. I don’t see myself as amazing. I just see a mom trying to get by, doing what she’s called to do with a minimum number of trips to the emergency room. I probably need to see myself in a better light. I should be more like Veronica.

Our Father asks me the same thing I asked my daughter. “What amazing thing are you going to do today?” Funny, He loves me more than I love her. He is as delighted by me as I am by her. Oh, that’s mind-blowing!

I need to stop believing that my day-to-day accomplishments are nothing. I need to believe that God sees them differently. He knows that when I am at my best, when I believe I can’t fail, when I am working in my strengths, when I am fearless and confident, I AM AMAZING. I can do amazing things. Failure or mediocrity or even false modesty should not even be in my vocabulary. After all, they aren’t in Veronica’s.

So, my question to you, dear readers, is this: What amazing thing are you going to do today?

 Via Lucius Art on Etsy

Sarah Jane Studios

By Karen Brown

I have long been a fan of Sarah Jane Studios. Her artwork is beautifully done with the slight vintage vibe I am drawn to, and gorgeous color!

She has recently added some children’s prints to her collection that would be perfect in a nursery. Don’t they just make you smile? What I may love most is that they come in both boy and girl designs, several skin colors and even different languages to choose from.

In addition to nursery artwork, Sarah Jane has some more grown-up, but equally inspiring prints you can download for free here and here.

I would love to have these hanging in my home...such good reminders! Check out what Ashley Ann did with hers. So very creative!

lunch box love notes

By Karen Brown

When my two oldest were in kindergarten, their teacher asked that we send notes in their lunchboxes telling the kids what they were supposed to eat at snack and what was for lunch. Apparently, some kids would eat all their food at snack and have no lunch, while some would only eat the fun stuff and never healthier choices. Once the kids were a little bit older and had the snack/lunch routine down, I quit sending the notes, deeming them unnecessary.

But this week my eight-year-old surprised me by asking if I could add notes to her lunch again. I prodded a bit on why she wanted me to send along a note since she knows what to eat (and I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of her friends). She proceeded to tell me she likes to think about her family in the middle of the day. She likes to read that I love her and hope she has an awesome day. She likes the hearts and XOXO’s I usually add to the bottom of the page.

I was surprised that something I hadn’t thought about in two years had made an impression on my daughter. But the more I thought about it, who wouldn’t want to hear in the middle of the day someone loves them? The same way I might text my husband and let him know I miss him and am praying for him. The same way when I get a card in the mail from a friend and my day is suddenly turned around. The same way my kids draw me a picture and scribble “I love you mommy” on it.

There are so many ways to incorporate these small loves notes of encouragement into everyday family life besides just lunch box notes. Send a card by snail mail to your husband’s workplace for an unexpected pick-me-up; write notes on the bathroom mirror if you won’t be around or awake when your family gets up; add post-it love notes to unexpected places (the laptop screen, the sock drawer, inside the hub's favorite coffee mug). Here are some fun lunchbox notes to get you started.





Clockwise from top right:

Alphabet Note Cards

Hello Sunshine

Funny Mini Notes

Compliment Cards

I love when my kids inspire me to try something new!  

How do you love and encourage your family in little, unexpected ways?

Jesus-Centered Easter Traditions

By Jessica Floyd

I have an 18 month old son and a little girl on the way. As Easter is approaching, I am thinking how I want to make sure my kids will know the story of Jesus and not just the Easter Bunny. I have to admit, that I love all holidays and I am a sucker for Santa, elf mischief, the Tooth Fairy, Leprechaun tricks, and the Easter Bunny. I think it is all fun, but not at the expense of my children not knowing about the true meanings of religious holidays. I know many families who choose not to celebrate with Santa or the Easter Bunny and I respect that choice absolutely. I think for my family we would like to have Santa and the Easter Bunny visit, but we want the main focus to be on Jesus!

I came across this blog, which is full of fun ideas and activities to do with children at Easter time that reinforce what Easter is supposed to be about. My son is probably too young this year for a lot of the activities, but I look forward to doing them in the years to come! My favorite is number 5!

Photo via We Are THAT Family

Chicks or Bunnies?

By Karen Brown

The roots of baby chicks and rabbits being associated with the Christian tradition of Easter is a bit unclear. It may just be as simple as the abundance of both baby chicks and bunnies in the spring, the same time of year as Easter, and their reminder of new life happening around us. Either way, they have definitely become symbols of the holiday.

When we fill our children’s baskets this year, we will do our best to marry the Christian holiday with the more secular traditions of gifts and candies. One thing we are going to try new this year is to give our kids the gift of helping others. We will buy live chicks in their names as a gift for those in developing countries. Through Samaritan’s Purse, we can purchase a dozen baby chicks or ducklings as a perpetual source of income and nutrition for a family. Then on Easter morning, we hope to be able to dialogue as a family about how one way we can show Christ’s love to others is by sharing gifts and what we have with them, the way Christ shared his priceless gift of eternal life with us.

You can purchase baby chicks through Samaritan’s Purse here for $14

And a trio of rabbits through Heifer International for between $10-60 here

Such a better use of $14 than for more jelly beans, don’t you think?

Via Heifer International

31 Ways to Pray for your Children

By Karen Brown

Photo from here

A friend recently shared this link to a wonderful article on praying for your children. What I love most about it is that the concept is so simple. It is something you could easily incorporate into everyday prayer life.

One way I like to add prayer into my daily routine is to include it as part of something I am already doing. For example, with three kids and different activities, we spend a lot of time back and forth in the car. With a simple list like this, I could easily leave it in the car and pray for the kids during the time I am driving to pick them up from school. At that time of the day, my preschooler is happy watching a movie on the dvd player in the van, and I can have some “quiet time” as I drive.

How do you include prayer into your day? Do you have any specific ways you pray for your children?

Review: Kisses from Katie

By Andrea Andis

Kisses from Katie is an inspiring and challenging memoir of a four-year journey in the life of Katie Davis---a journey that took her from a life of comfort and privilege to the place that she now considers home in the red dirt of Uganda. Through the pages of this book, Katie honestly wrestles with her desire to follow God’s call for her after graduating high school and her duty to honor her mother and father, who had dreams of Katie going to college. Through her unwavering love for God and for the children in this area of Uganda, Katie intimately shares the struggles and joys of saying “Yes” to God despite her shortcomings. She also challenges readers (through multiple passages of scripture as well as her own experiences) to listen to God’s leading in helping and serving others, even when that service seems hopeless in the face of much desperation. In the end, this is a story of a modern-day Mother Theresa and an excellent example of a woman who is living wholeheartedly for God! 

Beautifully Rooted

By Karen Brown

I came across this beautiful blog and wanted to share it with you. This is one of those blogs you could easily get lost in for hours.

Beautifully Rooted is “a place for women to deepen their relationship with their Savior, through encouraging words, inspiring projects and creative vision. “ Their team of contributors is top-notch, and the writing and images are inspiring at the very least. Check it out the next time you need to relax and steal a little time for yourself - and we could certainly all use more of that!

Why the City is a Wonderful Place to Raise Children

By Karen Brown

A friend recently forwarded me an article from The Gospel Coalition. It is written by Kathy Keller, wife of Tim Keller, lead pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan.

Her perspective on raising children in New York City is both thoughtful and insightful. I appreciate her point of view on darkness and light in the city. As a mom who has already raised her children into successful adults, her wisdom is invaluable. I really like what she has to say about the abundance of sin surrounding children in urban settings, since this is often a deterrent for city living. “In the city your kids see sin and its consequences while you are still with them and can help them process it. Eventually they're going to encounter it for themselves, usually when they leave the protected environment of home for the big wide world---just when you are no longer around to discuss things.”

You can read the full article here article.  

Photo by Mikhail Glabets

 

Photo by Mikhail Glabets

scriptures in pictures

By Karen Brown



I came across the shop Scriptures in Pictures recently and think these frames would make lovely gifts. I can image giving them for baby gifts, child dedications and baptisms. I know our grandparents would love them too...especially if they came with the kids’ picture already in them.

You can pick the frame and then also pick what scripture to include and what font. They can also be completely customized with a scripture of your choice.

Here are a few favorites...

This rustic brown frame feels fresh and masculine.

The verse “You are the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14 seem quite fitting for a frame with pictures of the kids in it.

You can read more about Paula, the owner of the shop here.

From Two Ellie

School for the Arts

By Karen Brown

If you are local to Boston---and looking to get your family more exposure to music---this is for you.

REUNION is kicking off its School for the Arts next week. This is an amazing opportunity for your kids (and you) to take some great classes and workshops at really affordable prices. They are offering private lessons in drum, percussion, violin, acoustic and electric guitar, bass, and piano. And the teachers are top notch...lots of Berklee College of Music grads. My son is taking drum lessons and as excited as I am for him to learn to play an instrument, I am equally as excited for him to spend some time with Christian guys that are fantastic role models---and are men that he really looks up to. They are also offering kids dance, theatre, and preschool music lessons. Adult workshops are coming soon and will be in special interest areas like photography, Photoshop, creative writing, and the like.

You can check out the School for the Arts website for more details and registration information.

Beanies and Bags

By Karen Brown

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while now, you know how much we love Craft Hope. You can read about previous projects here and here. Craft Hope is all about creating and distributing love and hope in the form of handmade items to those in need.

This next project is for the littlest warriors...kids fighting cancer. Craft Hope is collecting beanie hats and bags for kids to wear and take on hospital visits. Hats to keep their little heads warm and bags to bring goodies in to occupy little ones time during treatments. Any kind of beanie hats and any kind of bags will do. You can get as creative as you want. You can even fill the bags with surprises like stickers and such.



For Christmas, my daughter received an upcycled beanie hat made from old sweaters. She has hardly taken this hat off since she got it. I can imagine that she would really love it if together we could make some more hats like hers for these kids battling for their young lives. I can imagine her picking sweaters that she would love to wear as a hat. (I heard somewhere recently that this is a great time of year to shop thrift stores since many people are cleaning out closets for their new year’s resolutions.) My boys would even like picking fabric for bags to sew up for other little boys and choosing gifts to fill them with.... fun bandaids, Matchbox cars, and stickers. My three year old hardly goes anywhere without a bag or backpack filled with “treasures”!

The deadline for this project is March 12th. You can read more details about where to send gifts here. Drop us a line in the comments if you plan to participate. If you’re in the Boston area and would be interested in getting together with others to create, let us know that too and we’ll put together a party.

A quick Google or Pinterest search should give you some inspiration and tutorials. Here are some of my favorites

via Noodlehead

via I Am Momma - Hear Me Roar

Here’s a no-sew bag embellished with fabric paint and freezer paper stencil, via Twoellie. For instructions on freezer paper stencils, see here.

Via Twoellie

Taking Charge Of Your Toddler’s Words

By Katharine Grubb

It starts off cute. Your three-year-old mimics something slightly inappropriate in a commercial and you and your spouse laugh. Then, of course, because the child received such a positive response, he repeats it and you laugh again. Then he says it for Gramma or your neighbor or the kid next door and the response is the same. He’s so cute. It’s so funny.

Your child has learned that being a show off is fun. He tries other phrases, some that are disrespectful or demeaning or even profane. And if you laugh, show him off or repeat what he’s done, he learns that this behavior is acceptable and a way to get attention. And if you allow him to continue this and develop a bad habit, then you may be sorry later.

If a toddler learns by age three that disrespecting adults is funny, they will continue to smart off to teachers later. Then principals. Then police officers. Disrespect will add more trouble when your child is dealing with correction from adults. Disrespect leads to contempt, and contempt leads to bitterness. You don’t want that for your child. A habit of disrespecting authority will bring unending trouble to their lives.

If a toddler learns that profanity is acceptable, then they will say bad words in inappropriate places. It may be funny in the comfort of your living room, but Mom, do you really want your kid repeating that at church? Or in front of your mother? Or teaching their entire kindergarten class how to say it? A habit of profanity will bring nothing but embarrassment for you.

If a toddler learns that name-calling is okay, then they will call other children around them names. This is not the way to make friends or keep the peace. This is not what you want for your child. You want to have the kid who is well liked, gracious and kind. A habit of name-calling will bring nothing but loneliness.

If a toddler learns that put-downs are acceptable, then they will alienate others around them. A child who feels empowered by putting others down will be insecure and selfish. You do not want to have a kid that other children are wary of, you don’t want your child to be the one that causes heartache. You want the child that others are attracted to and want to be like. A habit of put-downs will cause nothing but pain.

It’s too bad many parents object to this simple correction. They may say, “You’re taking this way too seriously.” Maybe, but the Bible teaches us that we reap what we sow. We should encourage our children to develop good habits so that when they leave us, they are well equipped to handle anything the world gives them. Faithful parents get this and will work hard to stop habits before they rage out of control.

I’ll correct him when he’s older, when it really matters. No - correct it now, when he’s young and easy to teach. Toddlers are way, way easier to instruct than teens. A well-guided toddler will grow up to be a happier, better adjusted, respectful teen. An unrestricted toddler will grow up to be a rebellious, angry teen who will hold you in contempt because you didn’t require respect when he was younger.

But it’s so hard! Yes and no. Parenting is hard. But man up! You must stand your ground now because you are shaping an adult - one who will take with him everything he learned at your knee, the good and the bad. But, then it isn’t that hard. All you have to do when your toddler says something inappropriate is pull him aside. Say, “We don’t talk like that in this household. Those words are not acceptable. Please say you’re sorry. Please don’t talk like that again.” That’s all there is to it. If they don’t heed your instruction, then apply a consistent punishment. The bad habits can stop there for good.

Nobody really cares about stuff like this nowadays. I assure you, every person your child will meet in his future will care. Other parents that meet you care, because if your child says inappropriate things around them, they may not think it’s cute. They may think I’m not sure I want my child to associate with your child. I don’t want those bad habits rubbed off on mine! Unfortunately, Mom, you are judged by your child’s bad behavior. You are doing yourself and your child an injustice by allowing inappropriate words to come out of their mouths.

They’re going to pick it up at school anyway. This attitude is the most destructive attitude of all. It reeks of hopelessness and apathy. By not stepping up to guide your child to speak correctly, you are neglecting them and allowing them to be influenced by undisciplined children. This does not communicate love. This communicates to your child that they are not worth the trouble to correct. Don’t think like this. Be proactive and diligent instead.

Words matter. Little habits can develop into big ones. Parents, take seriously what you are allowing your toddler to talk about.

One Little Word

By Karen Brown

Have you heard of the one little word concept? It’s the idea of picking a word of the year that inspires and speaks to you. A word that propels you and moves you toward who you want to be and what you want to do that year.

I love the idea of picking a word just for me. A word to compel me. Not something for my whole family to embrace, or something for my husband to agree on, but something I choose...for me. A word that focuses my energies on ultimately being a better wife, mother, and child of God.

Ali Edwards explains it so well when she says, “A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow." She goes on to explain what exactly you do with this one little word: “You live with it. You invite it into your life. You let it speak to you. You might even follow where it leads. There are so many possibilities.”

I came across this idea a couple years ago and have yet to do it. It completely intrigues me, though, and I think this may be the year. And what’s the worst that can happen? I abandon my word mid-year because it’s just not working for me? I can handle that.

You can check out Ali Edwards’ site here and see a list of words that may inspire you.

Will you pick one little word? How does it work for you? What word did you choose for 2012?

New Year's resolutions

Image from Holstee

By Karen Brown

I am a list-maker. Lists make me feel a sense of control over the chaos around me. Lists give me a sense of order to what needs to be done and when. Lists help my head stop spinning, and they make my time more intentional. Lists completely work for me.

Here’s the thing with lists though, at least mine. The list is never complete. I always rewrite “the list” before all the things are crossed off. It doesn’t bother me in the least to have the same item on my list and just move it to the next day. A nice new list is like a fresh start at what needs to get accomplished. Would I prefer to cross it off? Sure I would, and eventually I will, but having the list is a roadmap of sorts for how I structure a particular day.

Lists of New Year’s Resolutions though are another matter. I think it’s the word resolution that I have a hard time with. Resolution makes it feel as if these items on the list will be resolved, done, complete, finished. For me, that feels like a lot of pressure. Like maybe I shouldn’t put it on the list if I don’t see it moving off the list sometime this year. Crazy, I know.

Of course I am still going to make a New Year’s list, I will just call it something different. Maybe I’ll call it my “2012 Aspirations” or maybe I’ll structure it more like a prayer list (because if I am honest, most of the things on my list aren’t going to get done without some strength and determination I don’t presently have).

Whatever I call it, I welcome the renewal that January ushers in. A time for the slate to be wiped clean, a time for things to be made new, a time for reflection and growth, a time to decide what this next year will be about. What I will be about. What direction our family will move, and what we will hold in high regard. Who we will be in Christ Jesus. So I will embrace this New Year, lists and all. His faithfulness and compassions are new every morning, and I am confident that when I fail, as I surely will, that His grace will be enough.

Happy New Year

By Karen Brown

Happy New Year from Life After Sunday! We trust that you had a blessed holiday season.

We are finally back from spending some much-needed time with family and friends and are ready to embark on 2012. It’s going to be a great year!

Check back this week for some posts on new year's resolutions. Do you make resolutions? How are they coming so far this year?

A favorite Christmas gift 

Give: Love Letters To Strangers

By Erin Glabets

Imagine writing a love letter to someone you’ve never met. A note telling someone that they’re not alone, that they’re special, and that they’re loved. Think of the hope it could bring to someone suffering from sickness, relational heartbreak, or just plain solitude.

The World Needs More Love Letters, a recently launched online community, is trying to do just that. It was started by Hannah Brencher, a twenty-something who began writing letters to strangers as a way to find hope and healing from her own pain. In her own words: “We are on a mission to spread more love letters out into a world that so desperately needs them. Through writing, leaving and mailing love letters, we are learning to turn our words into lanterns to light the paths of others.”

The group encourages others to write inspiring notes, package them in a way that they can’t be ignored, and leave them in places---like books, coffee shops, trains---where people will be compelled to pick them up.

More Love Letters also mails a bundle of letters every month to someone who’s especially in need of the hope and encouragement; they are building an e-mail list of writers who want to be part of that mission, too.

It’s just about to finish up an awesome 12-day Christmastime push for love letter writing (I just discovered More Love Letters days ago, so I’m a bit late in telling you about it.)

Each day from December 5 to December 17th, they’ve been featuring one special recipient, and they give you a week to mail your letter for that person to their headquarters. Those recipients include Anthony (recently lost the love of his life to cancer), Julia (a seven-year-old battling cancer), and Josie and Hannah (sisters dealing with their parents’ divorce). Writers have a week to get their letters in the mail---so you if you're interested, you still have time to write to some of the recipients featured in the past few days.

I think writing love letters is an incredible way to celebrate the “giving more” aspect of Advent Conspiracy. This week my community group studied the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke and discussed what it means to be a true neighbor to someone. Writing one of these love letters strikes me as a way to be a neighbor to someone you’ve never met and never will meet. It feels a bit silly and even scary to communicate to a stranger in this way, but I love the challenge of it.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog 

I hope to dig deeper into the story of Hannah Brencher and More Love Letters soon, so check back. In the meantime here are some ways you can get involved:

• Check out the More Love Letters blog for some of the people you can reach out to with love letters during this these last couple of days of the Christmas campaign. Commit to writing them here.

• Check out the group’s Love Letter Writing 101. And its do’s and dont’s. (Hints: don’t actually make them romantic and mushy or don’t try to give advice. Do tell your story honestly and get creative.)

• Pull out some homemade stationery and write! Invite friends over and make it a party where you can all do it together. Do it with your families and kids. Leave them in places where people will find them. And take pictures to document the experience.

•Join the subscriber list to be part of future love letter writing bundles.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog 

Things I Try Not To Say To My Kids (And More Truthful Things I Say Instead)

By Katharine Grubb

Moms, we have a powerful weapon at our disposal: our words. We all know the painful things that were said to us as children, some even by our parents. We all know that words can leave a permanent, painful reminder of how we have failed or how hard life is.

I’m not perfect, but I want to think long-term about how my words affect my children.
This is a list of things I try not to say to my kids and the more truthful things I say instead.

I’m always going to be there for you. This isn’t true. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to forget to pick them up from soccer practice. I’m going to misunderstand them. Sometimes I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. And, even though this is morbid, I can’t control exactly how long I’ll live. I’d rather say, I’m going to give you my best.

You can do anything. Also, not true. My daughter will probably never play for the NFL. My son might not get to fly into outer space. And the chances of me having a future president in my home right now are pretty slim. Instead I say this, God has given you some amazing gifts and he’s got some great plans for you. Let’s trust him for your future.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Sounds like an innocent question, but I think it can subtly send a message to kids (especially sensitive over-thinkers like me) that your job is your identity. Instead, I ask, How can I help you be more like Jesus?

You are going to college. Realistically speaking, college isn’t for everyone. I’d rather work with my child to figure out the best path, not just the assumed path, for him after high school. This decision will be based on his specific strengths and passions and not the once-valuable prestige of a college education. And I’m not so sure I’m willing to fork over $30K a year for my daughter to be a professional puppeteer. Instead, I say, God has a perfect plan for you.

You owe me. Boy, I hate it when moms, especially moms of adults, remind their children of their difficult pregnancies, days of labor, C-sections, dirty diapers, etc. This totally communicates to the child that the hard work wasn’t worth it and that mom is expecting some sort of payback. No, we love unconditionally. We, as mothers, should have low expectations of our children, even as adults! Then, when they do bless us and care for us, and eventually return the favor of the whole diaper-changing thing, we can truly be grateful.

I am ashamed of you. Honestly, I have felt this way about my children’s behavior. But I try not to communicate shame. Instead, I try to use my words to express forgiveness and reconciliation; at some moments it’s easier than others. This doesn’t mean they don’t get punished for their sins. This just means that my acceptance of them as a person isn’t threatened. Instead, I say, We all make mistakes. I forgive you.

You are so pretty. This is a hard one to reign in. I have three beautiful daughters and I want them to be confident with their looks, but I don’t want them to be so caught up with their appearance that they neglect their character. Instead I say, What makes you beautiful is that your inside matches your outside.

Anything negative about Daddy. Daddy and I don’t always agree. Sometimes we can work out our differences out of earshot from the kids, sometimes we can’t. But I believe that if my kids detect any negative vibe from me about Daddy, then their inner security is threatened. Instead I need to vent in a private way, forgive Daddy, express unity and allow the kids to see us make-up.

Let’s take our words seriously, moms. Pray over what you can change about your words and practice saying the graceful and uplifting.