Ladies and Gentleman we have a TODDLER....Yikes!

By Jessica Floyd

Being a mom is hard.   Really, it is.   I have the most adorable, sweet, energetic little boy who I love to shower with adoration.  He was seriously the PERFECT baby.  People would tell me that I was so lucky to have such a sweet easy-going baby.  I knew this was a blessing, and that they were right.  I could see that my son had his father's easy-going, go-with-the-flow personality, and I could not be more pumped!  Well, my easy-going baby has now turned into a stubborn, strong-willed toddler.  Traits that I recognize a little too closely from personal experience.   Don't get me wrong, I still adore him, and he is still a very sweet little boy....he is just a little boy who's favorite word is now, "NO."  How is it possible that a toddler telling me, "NOOOO," can sting so badly? Well, it does. 

I have had a lot of experience with babies, and that stage never scared me, in fact, I loved every minute.   This, on the other hand, feels like a brand new game.  How do I be firm but kind?  How do I parent a toddler when I feel like I am learning along with him?  These thoughts occupy my mind as I am laying in bed at night.  This is a first for me.  I am always prepared, thorough.  I have a Master's degree in special education with a focus in behavior.  I can come up with all kinds of positive reinforcement solutions for school-aged children, but my son is a little too young for those now.  

We do spend a lot of time in Time Out these days. Really, it happens all the time.  He wants to be in charge and decide what he can and can not do.  I tell him no or ask him to stop what he is doing and, all the sudden, that old western music that comes on right before the outlaw and the sheriff draw their guns plays in my head.  I know I am showing him love by disciplining him and practicing consistency, but I never realized it would be so hard on me, his mommy, the one who has adored every move he has made every day of his life.

It got me thinking that this is just the beginning.  My son will continue to challenge me, frustrate me with his choices, and act out in ways I do not understand.  So yes, being a mom is hard.  Harder than I imagined because, when it is your child, things are personal.  You wonder if you are doing everything wrong, if you are too strict, too nurturing, too quick or slow to respond to their actions.  I just never understood how hurtful it can feel for an 18-month-old to look you straight in the eyes with an ugly face, stomp his foot, and shout, "NOOOOOO, NOOOOOO!"  It makes my heart sink every time.  I know this is age-appropriate, I know that this happens.  I just did not realize how devastated it would make me feel. The good news is I am not in this alone.

I feel like I have been praying a lot lately, praying specifically for my husband and myself as parents.  Praying that God will help us through this stage and that we can help bring out the character in our son that God intends for him to have.  I feel that this experience has brought me closer to God.  Maybe before I had a child of my own, I did not grasp how much God loves all of us.  We are His children, he has adored us everyday of our lives.  Boy, I know I have disappointed him by telling him, "NO" over the years.  God is the most perfect Father, and yet, I have been disobedient.  I know that my husband and I cannot be perfect parents, but it gives me comfort that God is the Heavenly Father of my child and He is going to help us along the way.

I came across this blog that gave me some reassurance, I hope if you are having the same issues at your house it can be helpful to you also.

Jesus-Centered Easter Traditions

By Jessica Floyd

I have an 18 month old son and a little girl on the way. As Easter is approaching, I am thinking how I want to make sure my kids will know the story of Jesus and not just the Easter Bunny. I have to admit, that I love all holidays and I am a sucker for Santa, elf mischief, the Tooth Fairy, Leprechaun tricks, and the Easter Bunny. I think it is all fun, but not at the expense of my children not knowing about the true meanings of religious holidays. I know many families who choose not to celebrate with Santa or the Easter Bunny and I respect that choice absolutely. I think for my family we would like to have Santa and the Easter Bunny visit, but we want the main focus to be on Jesus!

I came across this blog, which is full of fun ideas and activities to do with children at Easter time that reinforce what Easter is supposed to be about. My son is probably too young this year for a lot of the activities, but I look forward to doing them in the years to come! My favorite is number 5!

Photo via We Are THAT Family

The Collage

By Jessica Floyd

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

We are all artists, it is true. Have you ever noticed how most all small children love to draw, paint, color, mold clay, play with Play-Doh? They enjoy the creative process more freely than adults because they are not afraid of making mistakes. So what changes? In my experience in the art room, I can tell you that as children get older they start to compare their art projects to others. Peers might even tell them that their project is very good, or maybe even that it is not so great. Parents may not realize when their child comes with an art project that it is something they have worked very hard on and that they may be self-conscious about the caliber of their work. So how do we react as parents? Do we say, "Oh that is very nice honey," brushing it aside? Or do we celebrate their hard work?

I remember when I was in second grade I made this collage. It was actually for a backdrop that my group used for a class project. My dad had come up to school for open house and my teacher told me I could take the backdrop home. I thought it was trash; where would I put the huge 8x10 foot collage on butcher paper? I told the teacher I would just throw it away. Dad stopped me. He said it was beautiful and he would like to have it. He hung it up at his house on a wall for years. That meant the world to me as a little kid. As I got older and went to high school, my dad moved. I probably did not notice the first couple of times I was at his new place, but I went in his room to get something and the closet door was open. He had used my collage on the back wall of his closet. It looked a little roughed up, but there it was. I could not believe it. The same pride that I felt when I was eight years old lit up inside me. I felt so special that he kept my artwork that I deemed as trash for all those years. 

I went off to college and my dad got transferred to Memphis. He called me up and told me that he did bring my collage with him but it was smaller now because it got damaged in the move. I just laughed and told him that he did not have to keep that ratty old thing. I was majoring in art and promised to make him something new. But he told me he was going to keep it, that it was just going to be a little smaller, and that I should not worry because he had already taken pictures of it. He was telling the truth because a few years later on my 21st birthday I received a hand-made card in the mail. The inside of the card was filled with a collage of pictures of me and my Dad, and adorning the cover was a picture of my huge collage. Again, I was filled with pride that something I had created meant that much to my dad. He passed away about a year and half later. I do not really know whatever became of that silly collage on butcher paper, but I do know that I graduated with a degree in art.

As parents we have the ability to build up our children and encourage them. They are not all going to grow up and be professional artists, but they probably will want to pursue careers in areas in which they feel accomplished. In the art room, I noticed how a child feels about their artwork is not necessarily based on their artistic ability. Children with high self-esteem and self-worth may not be the most artistically talented in the class, but they hold their head up high and are proud of what they have created---and cannot wait to go home and show their parents! Likewise, the child with the best drawing may just assume it is not worth anything. So why is it important to foster creativity in our children? Creativity is not just slapping paint on canvas, it is problem solving. When children start to care about what others will think about their art, they can have a meltdown when they make a mistake. Part of my job as the art teacher was to pick up the pieces and show them that their work is not ruined. This is where even more creativity comes in. I would tell the child that even the most famous artists made changes to their artwork to make it better. In almost any creative project there are choices and decisions that have to be made and sometimes we make mistakes. Mistakes are OK. 

Try working on something creative at home with your child. Perhaps a scrapbook, a chore chart, or even an art project. If you or your child makes a mistake, don’t trash it and start over. Talk it through with your child and see what you can come up with to fix it. Problem solving is a wonderful attribute to model for your children. Instead of starting over or melting down, they can be confident and know that they have the ability to work something out. 

Her entry won first place at the county fair

We are all God's children. God is the creator of all things. Let us not forget that we are created in HIS image. We are just like a work or art. We may make some mistakes along the way as parents, as children, as friends. There is no blemish too big for God to repair within us, if we let Him. Thank goodness God is a patient artist and continues the work He started when He created us!