Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission

I am thrilled to introduce my friend Janet to you today. I have known Janet for well over a decade, both as a ministry partner at Community Christian, and as a friend. (She is one of those women I just wanted to hang out with and soak up wisdom from long before I was married or had kids of my own.) She is an amazing mother and wife and has a huge heart for her family and for Jesus. Her perspective is one of grace, truth and humility. It is a priviledge to call her friend!

-Karen

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission 

By Janet McMahon 

A look of disappointment, frustration and surprise came over his face. Tears were his immediate response. We had just told our 13-year-old son that we were leaving the only town he had ever known, to move to another city. The days and weeks that followed this conversation were full of questions, not just by our 13 year old, but all three of our children. “Why, when, how and are you sure?” At the time we were considering this move, our kids were 16, 13, and seven. Moving kids in high school and middle school seemed less than ideal

No doubt my three kids are the number one calling of my life. To raise them to be responsible Christ followers who are finding their purpose and living fully committed to the Jesus mission, that would be my dream come true. So when the direction God seemed to be giving us made my kids unhappy, certainly I felt conflicted at my best and confused and sometimes angry at my worst. “Why would God clearly call me and my husband to move to a new city if it would make my children sad?”

As the weeks and months passed, it became increasingly clear that God was clearly directing us to move and to say “no” felt almost disobedient. What was so clear to my husband Troy and I felt like a slap in the face---to our middle son in particular. What were we to do?

I prayed, big time, probably more then I had ever prayed in my life. And as I prayed, I consulted friends, books, and others who had made these types of choices before. Over time, I began to stand on this ultimate truth: If God was clearly asking Troy and I to move to a new city, it was not only the best thing for us, but it would be the best thing for our kids. We may not know why this move is good for our kids, we may never know, but the fact remains that God’s plans for us are for our benefit. Jeremiah says it this way: “For I know the plans I have for you.” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 

So, in spite of our children’s reservations, we decided to jump in fully and lead our children strongly through the process.

There were a lot of things along the way that helped our kids join the journey, but the following three things stick out to me as being a significant part of helping our kids not only accept the plan that God had laid out, but perhaps even grow in their faith as a result. These things were: responsibility, relationship and repetition.

We gave our kids responsibility for some of the decisions. We picked the area we were going to move to and we asked them to pick the school. There were two high schools in the district. We set up meetings at each school and we went as a whole family to visit. They had to pick which high school of the two they wanted to attend. They all agreed on one of the two high schools, and so we narrowed our house search to the boundaries of that high school. We didn’t know this at the time, but not only did they pick the high school they would attend, but that high school is the space where our new church would be meeting.

We also told our kids that if God asked us to move to a new city, then He had something in mind for each of them to do. They each had to pick a responsibility at Church. Once they identified their responsibility, they had to carry it out; everyone in the family was required to contribute in an area of their choosing. Our oldest son played the keyboard in the worship band, our middle son ran the sound board for our kids’ large group worship time, our youngest daughter learned the kids worship songs and began over time to lead the kids worship time. In church, our kids were not required to do everything, just one thing. One area of serving is a requirement, any more than that was a choice.

Although responsibility and serving was not a choice, that does not mean that they couldn’t share their feelings, their grief, their sadness and their frustration about all that they were going through. I believe that feelings are worth sharing, and feelings cannot be right or wrong. So this is where the relationship came in.

We chose to work on our relationship with our kids by giving them meaningful conversation everyday, peppered with a lot of questions, often to their frustration. There were days when I knew my kids were grieving the loss of “home.” I went in their room and made them talk to me. At times they were hiding their heads under a pillow, grunting and pushing me away, but I waited. I said things like, “I know you hurt, and if you don’t get it out by talking, it will come out in other ways, and those other ways suck! So talk!” Eventually, not every time, they talked, and cried. I cried many tears that first year with my children as we all openly grieved the loss of “home.”

Then there was the repetition. I found myself repeating two things in order to continue to confidently lead my kids in the direction of the mission God had called us to. The first thing I said over and over to the kids and to myself was, “sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.” They didn’t always like that saying, but have come to recognize it as true. The second thing I repeated, mostly in my own head was, “this is not about their happiness, but their holiness.” God is not as interested in my kids being happy as He is in them being holy. And sometimes we must forego what makes us temporarily happy in order to pursue a life of holiness and obedience to God’s calling.

I believe that being parents who put following God as a number one priority in our lives---even when to do so causes temporary unhappiness to our children---is the greatest gift we can give our children. Our children Jake, now 21, Mitch now 18, and Judiann, now 12, have adjusted quite well. Jake is a junior in college pursuing a career in ministry. The other two are home and still serving at the local church (sometimes even by choice). Just last night I asked our middle son, “do you think our family is where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing?” He smiled, made a joke as he always does, and then said in all seriousness, “yes.”

Janet McMahon graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in social work. After working in mental health and adoption, Janet joined the staff of Community Christian Church in Naperville, IL in 1995 where she worked in Children’s Ministry, Support and Recovery and Small Groups. In 2007, Janet relocated to Kansas City where she helped start Restore Community Church. Janet is currently the Community Life Director at Restore providing vision and direction for small groups. Janet and her husband Troy have three children, Jake (21), Mitch (18) and Judiann (12).

meet: Lisa Ferguson

Lisa Ferguson lives in Chicago with her husband of 21 years, Jon, and her children, Graham (15) and Chloe (12). She has worked as a public school teacher and early childhood literacy consultant. She is currently an instructor and teacher mentor at the University of Illinois at Chicago as well as an early childhood education math coach for Erikson Institute working with Chicago Public School early childhood teachers. She homeschooled her son through 7th grade and currently homeschools her daughter. She is involved in the Parent Association at her son’s high school, oversees the Newcomers’ Lunches at her church, and enjoys organizing social events with neighbors. In her free time she loves to bike, knit, host and attend dinners with friends, play board games, and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.



Introductions

How are you using your strengths to bless your family?
I enjoy having people over, so we make it a point of having friends come for dinner regularly, including our children’s friends and their families.

What do you wish you were better at?
I wish I were more patient. I know so many moms who are so gentle & kind & sweet with their children. I wish I had more of those character qualities.

Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day would be to have a whole day to spend with my husband without having to worry about meals or getting our children to and/or from places. We would spend the day outdoors biking along the beach or visiting the botanic gardens and then, in the evening, we would take in a show at a theater and enjoy a romantic dinner.

Family Life

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day?
Our “vision” is for our family to be on a mission together, and individually, to reach more people for Jesus.

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?
When my children were younger, we read all of the time. Before tucking them into bed, we made it a point to read Bible stories together. As they got older, I wrote Bible verses that I felt were important for us to know, or that had meant something to me, on colored index cards. I kept those cards in a box that my children decorated, and it became known as our “treasure box.” This treasure box stayed on the kitchen table. We recited a verse from the box before each meal until it was committed to memory – some verses we memorized quicker than others. Sometimes I would ask my children to draw or paint pictures of what the verse represented to them, which was always fun. Later, I found some Bible trivia cards that we kept on the kitchen table as well and had fun quizzing one another at the beginning of dinner. My children are in junior high and high school now and they still enjoy pulling those cards out once in awhile!  I also make it a point to keep alert during our day for opportunities to make connections back to God and the Bible. For example, if we were driving home at night admiring the stars, I might remind my children that God told Abraham his family would be as numerous as the stars, or that God knows exactly how many stars there are and that He has given each one a name. My inspiration for this comes from Deuteronomy 6:5-9 - 

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I think the idea is that, rather than have just one specific time in the day or week where we read the Bible individually or as a family, it should permeate our thoughts throughout the day so that we discover how real, practical and applicable it is. In doing this, we have discovered that there are always moments in our day that we can tie back to God and His Word. At the same time, we have also discovered that if we “listen” for God’s still small voice throughout the day, His Spirit often brings to mind a verse to encourage or direct us, just when we need it most. These personal stories have been such fun to share with one another and keep us all encouraged!

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?
Everyone in our family is assigned chores to do around the house each week, and these responsibilities are switched from time to time. We feel strongly that we should all contribute to the care of our home because that is just part of the responsibility of being a family. While we do give our children a monthly allowance, we do not base it on their chores. Their allowance is a completely separate thing – it is something we provide because we want them to learn how to manage money responsibly, and that includes tithing, saving and spending.

Inspiration

What resource (book, audio series, mentor) influenced you most as a parent?
When we were expecting our first child, a friend recommended we read the Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo books. Although we realized they were controversial, we wanted to hear what they had to say about parenting and compare it to other resource recommendations. While there were some things we did not completely agree with, overall, we felt the basic principles the Ezzos wrote about resonated with us. Even before we had our first child, we got involved in a parenting group that included the Ezzo’s video series and began discussing this topic with other parents and parents-to-be so that we could decide on a framework for ourselves as new parents. Later we discovered that the Ezzo’s books went beyond the early years, including parenting during the middle and teen years as well. We are so grateful to have had their books as parenting resources over the years.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family?
I once heard someone speak about Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of A Praying Parent, which inspired me to begin praying for my children even before they were born. I began praying specific things for them – the talents I wanted them to have, their personality type, their work ethic, their influence on others, their careers, for their spouses, etc. I also began praying specific verses for them as I read the Bible and I began keeping a record of these – verses that spoke to the kind of person I wanted them to be, the blessings I was claiming for their lives, and to the kind of influence I desired for them to have as followers of Christ. Over the years, as I have prayed for them, I lay out my list of verses and remind God that these are the requests I make and the blessings I claim from His Word for my children, their spouses, their children and their spouses, and future generations. I still add to that list as I come across particular verses. I am amazed today to see how God has been so faithful in honoring so many of my specific requests!

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you?
All of us make it a point to say “Love you” when ending every phone call to each other, and we always kiss each other good-bye and say “I love you” before we leave the house. This way, we will know that our last words to each other are always “I love you.”
We also have a few fun family traditions at Christmas time:
We have a wooden advent calendar that has doors with the calendar numbers on the outside, above which is the setting of the Christmas scene in Bethlehem. Starting with December 1, my children would open one door each day and find inside a character from the Christmas story to hang on the Bethlehem scene. As they placed the character on the scene, we would read the corresponding verse from the Christmas story. In some of the boxes, I had placed a strip of paper on which was written a special activity or surprise for the family for that day, depending on our schedule, such as “Eat dinner by candlelight” or “Decorate the Christmas tree” or “Drink eggnog with lunch.” My children loved this! We also sing Christmas carols around the piano every night in December when we are home, before the children go to sleep. We always end by turning off all the lights in the house and singing Silent Night with only the piano light on. Since year one, we have bought each of them a Christmas ornament that represents a milestone in their lives for that year. For example, the year that my son first began piano lessons, we bought him a piano ornament. The year that my daughter began ballet, we bought her a ballet ornament. Each year they are reminded of the significant events in their lives when we decorate our Christmas tree.

Spiritual Formation

How do you pray with your child/children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictation?

As for praying with our children, we pray daily before meals and at bedtime. When they became old enough to talk, they took turns saying the prayer at meal times. At bed time, we both prayed aloud, each of us praying for each other as we shared our prayer requests with one another by asking the question, “How can I pray for you?” We continued this tradition of praying before bed with them through the junior high years. Now that my son is in high school, we do not pray regularly with him before bed, but there are occasions when we do, depending on what has happened that day, or what is coming up. We also pray with each of our children every morning before school. Whenever I pray with them personally, whether at bedtime or before school, I try to incorporate scripture. I believe there is power in praying God’s Word over them! When our schedules allow, we do family devotions during the week for about 20 minutes, using a particular study guide; right now we are going through Beth Moore’s study of John. During this time we keep a family prayer journal where we record our individual concerns and praises and take turns praying aloud for one another. It helps that our children have grown up participating in small groups through our student ministry because they really look forward to this time.

How do you handle those tough questions that your kids raise about God and faith?
While we are certainly far from perfect, my husband and I have made it a point to try to live out our faith as individuals in ways our children could witness. We have also been very open about our own doubts and disappointments with God. At the same time, we have shared all the wonderful ways He has worked in our lives over the years, sharing personal stories with them, as well as how He has worked in others’ lives too. Ever since they were little, I made it a point to allow them to see me reading my Bible in the morning so they would know how important this is to me. Early on, I had to learn that God can speak to my children directly, that He doesn’t really need me to do this all the time. So we got into the habit of asking each other what God was saying to us, how important it is to “listen” to God - whether through a Bible story or verse, a song, a circumstance or another person - how we were sensing God working in our lives and the questions, fears or doubts we had about this as well. We have also attempted to step out in faith ourselves and talk about this. Because our children have witnessed this in us, and because they have seen how God has worked in our lives, I think they have become more willing to risk for Him as well. We have also been purposefully missional together in helping our non-believing friends know Jesus, taking risks as a family to do this. Our recent move into Chicago from the suburbs has been one such example of a high-stakes decision for all of us. Yet, I can tell you that the excitement that has resulted in seeing how God has worked through us as a family as a result of this and other risks, has proven to all of us that, despite all our doubts, it is always worth it!

What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them?
We have tried to encourage our children to be involved in helping others as opportunities arise, whether neighbors or strangers. For example, when a new neighbor moves in, the whole family stops by with homemade cookies or bread that my daughter helps me bake. When someone has a baby, we might host a baby shower and organize meals with other neighbors after the baby is born. When a new mom needs help, we offer to babysit. We also volunteer as a family throughout the year, through our church and other organizations, to serve the under-resourced in various settings such as homeless shelters and low-income schools. We feel it is important for our children to be aware of and grateful for God’s blessings to us and to share, in turn, with those in need.

meet: tim & stephanie hawkins

By Tim and Stephanie Hawkins & Karen Brown

I am honored to have a guest post today by Tim & Stephanie Hawkins.  Tim and Stephanie moved to Boston 6 years to start Sojourn Collegiate Ministry the same time our family moved here to launch REUNION.  We have had the priviledge of watching them parent their 4 kids as well as nurture and disciple dozens and dozens of students...both young children and young adults.  Tim is the Director of Sojourn Collegiate Ministry and Stephanie is a preschool teacher at Park Street Kids in downtown Boston.  Tim and Stephanie are one of those couples that you just want to sit down with over coffee and pick their brains about their philosphy on parenting and child rearing.  I asked them recently to give us some insight on what shapes their parenting style and some "best practices" that have worked in their family.

We do not compromise our values when we say that the child is more important than his conduct. Rather we affirm them at their deepest level. We dig down to bedrock and declare what is true. - Hold On To Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate

We were 25 when our first child was born and, over the following six years, we added three more to the clan.  We did not start out with a particular philosophy or guiding vision of raising our kids except the constant prayer, “God, please keep us from screwing this up.”  

It is still our prayer.  And confession.

Though we wouldn’t have defined our parenting philosophy this way, it is a particular phrase in Neufeld and Mate’s book, Hold On to Your Kids, that has helped articulate what we value as a family: 

To compensate for the cultural chaos of our times, we need to make a habit of collecting our children daily and repeatedly until they are old enough to function as independent beings.

We have come to realize that much of what we value as parents are rhythms and practices that help us collect our kids.  And these are a reminder to dig beyond conduct, and affirm them at their deepest level, which for us is how God is shaping them for His Kingdom mission.

These are our favorite collecting places:

Books –Books give us a common language to talk about redemptive themes and the Kingdom of God.  We read a wide variety of books that broaden our perspective on the world and what God is doing in it.  Most recently we have been reading, Same Kind of Different as Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

Allowance - We give our kids allowance every two weeks and let them spend it any way they want (as long as it’s legal), including planning ahead for gifts.  Beyond lessons about responsibility, allowance gives us a chance to talk about values and choices.  Our kids have become great gift givers to one another. 

Hospitality – Involving our kids in the preparations and responsibilities for hosting gives them more joy in the relationships they are building.

Travel – Mostly this is about having shared memories and stories to tell.  “Remember when we…”  

Prayer – Not just in the act of praying, but also talking (even just one-on-one) about how God is forming us as individuals through our prayer.  It also allows prayer to bring God into the everyday, as we encounter disappointment, fear, worry, sadness, joy. Prayer is not just a matter of asking God for things, but models formation.  

Storytelling – This happens daily in some way through something as simple as, “So do you want to know what happened to me today?”  Over the years the stories have gotten more entertaining.  Shared laughter strengthens the family bond (it’s the inside joke phenomenon). 

Traditions – Although many of our traditions are associated with holidays, some are as simple as Ebelskiver Saturdays or watching a specific TV show together.  Our traditions are the hands-on application of our family values.

Eating Out – We don’t do this everyday, but about once a week we break from the norm, free ourselves from the preparation and cleaning-up, to have significant time at the table together with nowhere to go and nothing to keep us busy except talking to one another.

Debriefing – Maybe one of the best pieces of advice we received from parents we respected was to, “Debrief everyday.”  When we’re going 6 different directions during the day, it’s important to come re-center at the end of the day.

Thank you Tim & Stephanie for sharing your wisdom and insight!  Parenting is the hardest job there is and you do it with such thoughtfulness,  patience, and grace.

meet kelly hubert, part 2

Read more about Kelly in Part 1 of our series.
Here's the rest of her interview. Enjoy!

If you had a short list of must-read books, what would they be? 
Holding onto Hope, by Nancy Guthrie. This is a sad yet inspiring story about the struggles of losing a child. The author relates her journey to that of Job’s. It brought perspective to my situation and encouraged me to stand by what I believe in.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family? 
This may sound very strange, but I find a lot of my inspiration and encouragement from other families who are going through difficult or scary times with their own children. Having an unspoken understanding of what someone is going through is comforting to me. I’m the type of person who wants to make everything okay for everyone. When I hear a story of a family experiencing difficult time, it inspires me to want to better our foundation in hopes of helping someone else out.

I also find a lot of encouragement when I see other’s generosity. It’s not always monetary generosity; it’s the generosity of other’s encouraging words that inspires me to keep doing what we are doing. It’s hard to always know what to say to someone who is going through a difficult time. When people offer kind words or share that they are praying for Liv and my family, I’m extremely touched. There are a lot of really good people in this world who want to help others. When people give time, money, or encouragement, I’m deeply touched and humbled.

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you? 
Family gatherings are always important to us. We love to celebrate birthdays and holidays with our families. We live about 3 hours away from our immediate family, so any time we get together it really means a lot. Something that I’m very excited about is homemade Christmas. This is something that is brand new in our family, but I hope it carries on from year to year. For the adult gift giving, we typically buy a male and female gift. We then draw numbers, and choose gifts, with the option of taking one that has already been opened. This past year, the ladies chose to do homemade gifts. The same process of drawing numbers and taking other people’s open gifts remained, but getting something homemade was so special. We have talented women on both sides of my family, so getting something from any of them is a true gift! It was so much fun and so memorable!

Tell us about your spiritual formation. 
My spiritual formation is going to sound so typical and an answer that probably everyone gives. My spiritual formation has been nothing but growth. I say that because, when I was younger, I didn’t really feel comfortable in church. I just didn’t know my place. I was afraid to ask questions and, at one time, didn’t feel welcome. It wasn’t until I was married that I felt like I had direction and focus with my spiritual formation. Jake has really been who I’ve leaned on when growing in my faith. The church that we attend now has also really helped in my understanding and growth.

My children are still so young that we haven’t had to answer any questions from them, yet. I try to teach my kids how important it is to thank our Lord for the blessings in our life. Livia definitely knows what prayer, church, and the Bible are. Finley is now starting to say some of the prayers that we say to her; she’ll even remind us to pray at dinner before we eat. Making prayer a part of our routine has helped with teaching our girls to put God first in whatever we do.

meet: Kelly Hubert, part 1

Kelly Hubert is a country girl who currently lives in northern Illinois with her never-a-dull-moment husband, Jake, and their two girls Livia Grace (4) and Finley Faith (2). In addition to being a mom, her other jobs include Pilates instructor and childcare provider at the local YMCA, foundation Creator and President, and blogger. She is most passionate about her family, her faith journey, running/exercising, creating/crafting, and their Foundation.

Her story is pretty much like anyone else’s - she grew up happy and dreamed of marriage and a family. Everything seemed to fall into place like she hoped it would - she married a great guy, they both had good jobs, they were raising two little girls. And then they received news every parent dreads – their daughter, Livia, was diagnosed with a terminal, un-treatable genetic disorder called Sanfilippo Syndrome. She prayed, looked for more information and then took action, creating Liv Life Foundation. Through it, she hopes to spread awareness and raise funds for research, and she wants to help others facing similar battles. The Foundation has given a purpose to her pain, allowing her to do what she believes God set out for her to accomplish.

How are you using your strengths to bless your family? The ability to recognize my uniqueness and that who I am as a person contributes to this world in a positive way blesses my family, especially my kiddos. It has taken me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I have a unique perspective on life that has given me focus and determination to do good. I want my girls to grow up loving themselves for who they are, to live their lives pleasing no one but God. I also recognize that one of my strengths is the time and care I put into my family. Because my family is my priority, I know how important it is to take time for myself. This time enables me to take care of myself, which in turn, makes me a better mom and wife. Living a healthy lifestyle contributes to the all around well-being of this family.

What do you wish you were better at? 

Praying. This is something hard for me to admit. I’ve struggled with this for a long time. I pray, but I don’t feel like I pray enough. I catch myself praying when things are bad, but not when they are good. I need to offer praise and not always pray for help or forgiveness. We all have busy lives - putting the Lord first, keeping my kids and hubby happy, doctor’s appointments, running a foundation, training for a marathon, and on and on. What helps influence our success as a Christian parent is how we choose to respond to the busy-ness and how we prioritize things. 

Describe your perfect day

My perfect day would start out with my house being clean and picked up, coffee made, and blueberry pancakes with my kids and hubby. Then, I would get my run in and shower in peace. I’d then be kid-free for a bit, have lunch with girlfriends and do a little shopping (OK…A LOT, if this is my perfect day!). Mani, pedi, and massage with my sister. Then meet up with Jake and the girls for some dinner at a hibachi restaurant.

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day? If so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos? 
Absolutely! Truth be told, surviving the day is definitely crucial. However, having goals and dreams for a bright future help with that survival. I feel like I’ve been given “new eyes” for our future. Having a glimpse of what our future looks like with Livia has given us a new perspective on what life and everyday living should look like. My vision for my family, which helps in the chaos, has taught me not to sweat the small stuff and to teach my children to the best of my ability. The rest will be up to them. My vision may not be the same as what they will want for themselves. I pray that they will make the right choices and become contributing members of our society and live a life serving our Lord. I want our family to be a giving family. I hope our family, and our story will help others find encouragement, God, and hope. 

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children? 

Any opportunity that I get to teach my children why we are here or why the grass is green and give all the credit to our Savior, I take it. My kids are at the age where every word I tell them is something they believe to be true. Having that foundation of faith within myself, and with my husband, has helped foster that faith formation in my children. We attend church on a regular basis and we pray together as a family at meals and before bedtime. 

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household? 

A schedule. We thrive on our daily routines. My kids like the routines, and they know what to expect. They are also at an age where, if that routine is broken, they won’t break. My kids still nap, but if we make plans to go somewhere or do something out of the routine it still works. Like I said before, I take some time for myself every day. Join a local gym or YMCA that offers daycare. Exercising to start my day only makes the rest of my day go better. There’s something to say about endorphins! They are my drug of choice! J

I don’t feel bad about turning on the TV or putting in a movie if something HAS to get done. My girls get my attention for the majority of the day, so if I need to clean something, fold some laundry, or fill out some paperwork, I do it! I’ve found that procrastinating over things that need to get done only makes things worse.

Ask for help. This is something that I really struggle with! It’s something that I should have included in the question above. Especially having a child with special needs, I find it hard to ask others for help with anything. I don’t want to burden anyone OR have to explain why my child isn’t potty trained or why she doesn’t sit still. Delegating anything is hard for me. Maybe it’s a control thing, but I really think it’s more of the latter. I have learned that my spouse is my ally in this thing called life. He and my family are my support system.

Read part 2 of her interview on Thursday

Meet: Kirsten Strand

By Kirsten Strand & Karen Brown

Kirsten Strand lives in Aurora, Illinois with her husband Scott, sons Erik (age 13) and Brian (age 12), and their dog Lucy. She is the Director of Community 4:12, the Compassion & Justice Ministry of Community Christian Church, a multi-site church with 14 (and counting) locations . She is deeply passionate about addressing the “injustices” and inequalities that people living in poverty face and about bringing people together across racial, cultural, and economic differences. She believes that everyone is rich in some ways and everyone is poor in some ways, and only by coming together can we help address each other’s poverty. Check out her blog.

Question: Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day? 

If so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos? When my husband and I got married 17 years ago, we went on what we called a “Family Summit.” We went off to a cabin in the woods away from all technology and people and wrote a Family Mission Statement and dreamed about our future. Every year since then, we have gone on a “Family Summit.” The kids started joining us when they were in elementary school, and they have gotten more and more involved each year. We go away for three nights and spend time evaluating how we have done as a family in the past year in sticking with our mission (which was revised when they were old enough to have input) and accomplishing any goals we’d set the year before. We dream and pray together and work through any conflicts or tensions that haven’t been resolved. Our family motto is, “A cord of [4] Strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). We try to model the idea that if we all stick together and keep God at the center of what we do, we can get through anything. The Summit weekend is the highlight of the year for all of us, and recharges and refocuses us for the coming year.

Question: Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children? 

Despite our hectic schedules, we try very hard to eat dinner together most nights of the week. We do a family prayer before that with everyone sharing something they are thankful for or a request they have. We are not a particularly “spiritual” family in terms of doing family devotions or lots of praying together, but we are on a “mission” together as a family in an under-resourced community, so we hope that our lifestyle choices and efforts to put our faith into action are influencing our kids’ faith journey.

Question: Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household? 

I am an off-the-chart “beaver,” so planning ahead and being organized comes naturally, and at times drives the 3 other “otters” in my house crazy. One thing that saves me during the week is that I plan and cook most meals ahead of time (on the weekends) and freeze them so that I don’t have to worry about cooking during the week and so that we won’t have to be tempted to swing through the drive-through. We also have a rule that the house/bedrooms get completely picked up every weekend, but I don’t stress too much about the mess during the week. I have learned to be okay with having “book bags” and “bat bags” sprawled around the living room.

Question: What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them? 

When my kids were very young, my husband and I made some significant life choices that have significantly influenced the life my kids have lived. I joined the staff at our church to start a ministry to help Christ-followers address poverty and justice issues. My husband left his corporate job and went back to school to get his teaching degree so he could teach and impact kids in under-resourced schools. We then moved from a mostly White, affluent suburb to an under-resourced and mostly Hispanic community so that we could be a part of helping to restore that community. My kids have come with us to serve at homeless shelters or with refugees since they were toddlers. Their best friends are what society would label as “poor Mexican immigrants.” We helped start a bilingual campus of our church in our neighborhood so that we can worship with our friends who don’t speak English. We also hope that we have shown them that Jesus cares more about “loving” the poor than he does about “serving” the poor. Jesus wasn’t anyone’s volunteer. He was their friend. And that is what we hope to help our children be.

Meet: Julie Wilson

By Julie Wilson & Karen Brown

Julie Wilson is married to Hank Wilson, lead pastor of Reunion Christian Church. They live in South Boston with their four kids: son, Trey (11), and daughters Alex (14), Jonah (9) and Andie (7).  She homeschools Jonah and Andie, and homeschooled all four up until two years ago. She has led women’s support groups through the church and loves seeing how God can heal and transform lives. She loves going to the beach with her family, which is a great way for them to relax and reconnect. They love being in Boston as part of a church plant and seeing lives impacted by God’s grace.

Question: Describe your perfect day.
A perfect day for me would be back in Illinois at my aunt’s house. In the summer we all converge at her house and spend our days swimming in the pool, laughing and making new memories. I love being with my three sisters and their families and seeing our kids all play together. Living in Boston has caused me to cherish those days and times with my extended family so much more.

Question: Do you have a specific vision for your family that’s beyond just surviving the day? if so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos?
My vision for my children is that they will grow up knowing and loving the Lord. I want them each to have a relationship with God that is genuine and active. If they love God with all their hearts, then loving His people should ultimately be a direct result of that. Hank and I pray for our children every day and keep this hope before God and before them. When some days are stressful or challenging, we always come back to this prayer and it keeps us focused on what is important.

Question: What resource most influenced you as a parent?
The book that most influenced me as a parent is a book by Barbara Coloroso called, “Kids are Worth It!” When I was pregnant with Trey, Hank and I saw Ms. Coloroso speak at a conference and were very moved by what she said. We bought her book and it really helped shape who we are as parents. She really teaches parents how to treat children with respect and keep their dignity intact while disciplining them. She helps you to see that your goal should be to teach your children to do the right thing, not for hope of reward or for fear of punishment, but because it is the right thing to do. I highly recommend her book.

Question: How do you pray with your children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictated?
We do pray as a family before every meal and also before bedtime. But we also pray throughout the day as needs or praises arise. If I am driving in the van with the kids and we see an ambulance go by, we pray right then for whoever is sick in the ambulance. This shows the kids that we may not know the details but God does. When my sister recently called to tell us she was pregnant, the kids and I prayed, thanking God for their new, baby cousin and for God’s faithfulness in answering prayers. If you can teach your kids to pray to God at any moment and not just at set times, you can help them to see God as a friend who is always there.