meet: Lisa Ferguson

Lisa Ferguson lives in Chicago with her husband of 21 years, Jon, and her children, Graham (15) and Chloe (12). She has worked as a public school teacher and early childhood literacy consultant. She is currently an instructor and teacher mentor at the University of Illinois at Chicago as well as an early childhood education math coach for Erikson Institute working with Chicago Public School early childhood teachers. She homeschooled her son through 7th grade and currently homeschools her daughter. She is involved in the Parent Association at her son’s high school, oversees the Newcomers’ Lunches at her church, and enjoys organizing social events with neighbors. In her free time she loves to bike, knit, host and attend dinners with friends, play board games, and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.



Introductions

How are you using your strengths to bless your family?
I enjoy having people over, so we make it a point of having friends come for dinner regularly, including our children’s friends and their families.

What do you wish you were better at?
I wish I were more patient. I know so many moms who are so gentle & kind & sweet with their children. I wish I had more of those character qualities.

Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day would be to have a whole day to spend with my husband without having to worry about meals or getting our children to and/or from places. We would spend the day outdoors biking along the beach or visiting the botanic gardens and then, in the evening, we would take in a show at a theater and enjoy a romantic dinner.

Family Life

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day?
Our “vision” is for our family to be on a mission together, and individually, to reach more people for Jesus.

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?
When my children were younger, we read all of the time. Before tucking them into bed, we made it a point to read Bible stories together. As they got older, I wrote Bible verses that I felt were important for us to know, or that had meant something to me, on colored index cards. I kept those cards in a box that my children decorated, and it became known as our “treasure box.” This treasure box stayed on the kitchen table. We recited a verse from the box before each meal until it was committed to memory – some verses we memorized quicker than others. Sometimes I would ask my children to draw or paint pictures of what the verse represented to them, which was always fun. Later, I found some Bible trivia cards that we kept on the kitchen table as well and had fun quizzing one another at the beginning of dinner. My children are in junior high and high school now and they still enjoy pulling those cards out once in awhile!  I also make it a point to keep alert during our day for opportunities to make connections back to God and the Bible. For example, if we were driving home at night admiring the stars, I might remind my children that God told Abraham his family would be as numerous as the stars, or that God knows exactly how many stars there are and that He has given each one a name. My inspiration for this comes from Deuteronomy 6:5-9 - 

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I think the idea is that, rather than have just one specific time in the day or week where we read the Bible individually or as a family, it should permeate our thoughts throughout the day so that we discover how real, practical and applicable it is. In doing this, we have discovered that there are always moments in our day that we can tie back to God and His Word. At the same time, we have also discovered that if we “listen” for God’s still small voice throughout the day, His Spirit often brings to mind a verse to encourage or direct us, just when we need it most. These personal stories have been such fun to share with one another and keep us all encouraged!

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?
Everyone in our family is assigned chores to do around the house each week, and these responsibilities are switched from time to time. We feel strongly that we should all contribute to the care of our home because that is just part of the responsibility of being a family. While we do give our children a monthly allowance, we do not base it on their chores. Their allowance is a completely separate thing – it is something we provide because we want them to learn how to manage money responsibly, and that includes tithing, saving and spending.

Inspiration

What resource (book, audio series, mentor) influenced you most as a parent?
When we were expecting our first child, a friend recommended we read the Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo books. Although we realized they were controversial, we wanted to hear what they had to say about parenting and compare it to other resource recommendations. While there were some things we did not completely agree with, overall, we felt the basic principles the Ezzos wrote about resonated with us. Even before we had our first child, we got involved in a parenting group that included the Ezzo’s video series and began discussing this topic with other parents and parents-to-be so that we could decide on a framework for ourselves as new parents. Later we discovered that the Ezzo’s books went beyond the early years, including parenting during the middle and teen years as well. We are so grateful to have had their books as parenting resources over the years.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family?
I once heard someone speak about Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of A Praying Parent, which inspired me to begin praying for my children even before they were born. I began praying specific things for them – the talents I wanted them to have, their personality type, their work ethic, their influence on others, their careers, for their spouses, etc. I also began praying specific verses for them as I read the Bible and I began keeping a record of these – verses that spoke to the kind of person I wanted them to be, the blessings I was claiming for their lives, and to the kind of influence I desired for them to have as followers of Christ. Over the years, as I have prayed for them, I lay out my list of verses and remind God that these are the requests I make and the blessings I claim from His Word for my children, their spouses, their children and their spouses, and future generations. I still add to that list as I come across particular verses. I am amazed today to see how God has been so faithful in honoring so many of my specific requests!

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you?
All of us make it a point to say “Love you” when ending every phone call to each other, and we always kiss each other good-bye and say “I love you” before we leave the house. This way, we will know that our last words to each other are always “I love you.”
We also have a few fun family traditions at Christmas time:
We have a wooden advent calendar that has doors with the calendar numbers on the outside, above which is the setting of the Christmas scene in Bethlehem. Starting with December 1, my children would open one door each day and find inside a character from the Christmas story to hang on the Bethlehem scene. As they placed the character on the scene, we would read the corresponding verse from the Christmas story. In some of the boxes, I had placed a strip of paper on which was written a special activity or surprise for the family for that day, depending on our schedule, such as “Eat dinner by candlelight” or “Decorate the Christmas tree” or “Drink eggnog with lunch.” My children loved this! We also sing Christmas carols around the piano every night in December when we are home, before the children go to sleep. We always end by turning off all the lights in the house and singing Silent Night with only the piano light on. Since year one, we have bought each of them a Christmas ornament that represents a milestone in their lives for that year. For example, the year that my son first began piano lessons, we bought him a piano ornament. The year that my daughter began ballet, we bought her a ballet ornament. Each year they are reminded of the significant events in their lives when we decorate our Christmas tree.

Spiritual Formation

How do you pray with your child/children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictation?

As for praying with our children, we pray daily before meals and at bedtime. When they became old enough to talk, they took turns saying the prayer at meal times. At bed time, we both prayed aloud, each of us praying for each other as we shared our prayer requests with one another by asking the question, “How can I pray for you?” We continued this tradition of praying before bed with them through the junior high years. Now that my son is in high school, we do not pray regularly with him before bed, but there are occasions when we do, depending on what has happened that day, or what is coming up. We also pray with each of our children every morning before school. Whenever I pray with them personally, whether at bedtime or before school, I try to incorporate scripture. I believe there is power in praying God’s Word over them! When our schedules allow, we do family devotions during the week for about 20 minutes, using a particular study guide; right now we are going through Beth Moore’s study of John. During this time we keep a family prayer journal where we record our individual concerns and praises and take turns praying aloud for one another. It helps that our children have grown up participating in small groups through our student ministry because they really look forward to this time.

How do you handle those tough questions that your kids raise about God and faith?
While we are certainly far from perfect, my husband and I have made it a point to try to live out our faith as individuals in ways our children could witness. We have also been very open about our own doubts and disappointments with God. At the same time, we have shared all the wonderful ways He has worked in our lives over the years, sharing personal stories with them, as well as how He has worked in others’ lives too. Ever since they were little, I made it a point to allow them to see me reading my Bible in the morning so they would know how important this is to me. Early on, I had to learn that God can speak to my children directly, that He doesn’t really need me to do this all the time. So we got into the habit of asking each other what God was saying to us, how important it is to “listen” to God - whether through a Bible story or verse, a song, a circumstance or another person - how we were sensing God working in our lives and the questions, fears or doubts we had about this as well. We have also attempted to step out in faith ourselves and talk about this. Because our children have witnessed this in us, and because they have seen how God has worked in our lives, I think they have become more willing to risk for Him as well. We have also been purposefully missional together in helping our non-believing friends know Jesus, taking risks as a family to do this. Our recent move into Chicago from the suburbs has been one such example of a high-stakes decision for all of us. Yet, I can tell you that the excitement that has resulted in seeing how God has worked through us as a family as a result of this and other risks, has proven to all of us that, despite all our doubts, it is always worth it!

What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them?
We have tried to encourage our children to be involved in helping others as opportunities arise, whether neighbors or strangers. For example, when a new neighbor moves in, the whole family stops by with homemade cookies or bread that my daughter helps me bake. When someone has a baby, we might host a baby shower and organize meals with other neighbors after the baby is born. When a new mom needs help, we offer to babysit. We also volunteer as a family throughout the year, through our church and other organizations, to serve the under-resourced in various settings such as homeless shelters and low-income schools. We feel it is important for our children to be aware of and grateful for God’s blessings to us and to share, in turn, with those in need.