call and response

By Karen Brown

Have you seen this documentary? It's an amazing film about modern-day slavery.

REUNION showed it as part of our Freedom Sunday celebration. It is thought-provoking and will truly make you think about what is happening in our neighborhoods and in the world around us. Slavery is more prevalent today than it ever has been in all of history, and includes forced labor, child labor, sex trafficking, child soldiers, and childhood prostitution. And did you know it's more profitable than both the drug and arms trades combined? It's the fastest growing crime in America. 

You can order Call + Response on Netflix here. Seriously...order it now or watch the trailer here. 

We are trying to think through what our response can be as a community and as a family. One of the quotes that really spoke to me was when Ashley Judd said that she didn't want to wear someone else's despair (speaking of child & forced labor in clothing manufacturing). I am often the one looking for the best deal, but I imagine that must mean someone isn't being treated fairly or paid fairly somewhere down the chain of production. We are trying to consider how we inadvertently contribute to this crime and how we can make choices that promote love and justice for all. 

I would want someone to think about those things if it was my child in the video.

1 Kings 17

By Julie Wilson 

I home school my two youngest girls, who are in third and first grades. Recently, Jonah has been studying the story from the Bible, found in I Kings 17. A widowed mother is down to her last bit of flour and oil, only enough left to make one small loaf of bread. Elijah comes along and asks the woman to first make him some bread and give it to him before she and her son eat. I’ve heard this story before, but this time it really struck me as we read it. As a mother, I don’t know if I would have the compassion that this mother did to give away some of the food that was intended for my starving child. Especially to a stranger whose God I did not know or believe in! If my child were hungry, I would want to do everything I could to provide food for them. The thought of giving away the very nourishment that could help save my child from hunger is one that I cannot comprehend. Yet, Elijah promises her that if she fulfills his request the Lord will not let her flour or oil run dry until the day the Lord sends rain. And this is exactly what happens. God blessed her compassion and willingness to share with another who was in need. I pray that God will help me to have a heart that would be so willing.

A Tip for Teaching Your Baby to Sit

By Anna Hamman

Some babies learn to sit early on and others will take longer. If you are reading this, please make sure your baby is at the stage where they are strong enough and have the neck control to start sitting. It is different for every baby, but most babies develop this skill around four to eight months.

The best way to teach them to sit of course is to sit with them on the floor and interact and support them as they start to topple. This is important to do regularly---but you can’t do this all day. So here’s a tip for helping them develop the muscles for sitting when you cannot sit with them. This can be done with materials you already have around the house, so you don’t have to spendg money on a product designed specifically for this purpose.

• Take a large plastic storage crate or bin or washing basket that is rectangular, sturdy and large. (I found the plastic storage bins are really sturdy, especially the clear ones, so that the baby doesn’t feel closed in.) 
• Place your baby sitting up in the bin with supports of rolled towels or blankets on either side of them until they are strong enough to sit without needing the supports. 
• Put toys in front of them to encourage them to reach and shift their weight, and to help their fine motor development. The sides of the bin and the towels will support them if they lean. A baby-safe mirror in front of them also encourages interaction, movement, and language development. 

This is a photo to show how it can be done. In the beginning, as the baby is learning, you will need more rolled towel supports on either sides of the baby than displayed in this picture

Spend, Save, Share

by Karen Brown

One of the things we hope to instill in our children from a young age is fiscal responsibility. We want to model the value of money for them, how and what it is used for, and what a spirit of generosity looks like. 

Something we are currently trying, to help them be responsible for their money, is creating separate banks for them for different categories: Spend, Save and Share. The idea is that when they receive money, they immediately divide it up into each bank based on agreed upon percentages. This makes it very easy for our children to know what they can spend on treats or gifts, what they need to save, and what they should, at a minimum, share with others through their tithe and other generosity opportunities at school, etc.

We started with simple recycled pasta sauce jars. I labeled each jar and painted the lids with primer and then chalkboard paint. By using chalkboard paint, the kids can keep a tally on the jar lid of how much money they have. 

the Brown's jars

Here are a couple others I found online. I love how this one gives visual clues for the child as to what each jar is for. 

(source unknown)

Here’s another variation on the same thing. I love these for boys! And Rachel of Smile and Wave has a great tutorial for how to make these.

from Rachel at Smile and Wave

And if DIY is not your style, you can purchase one from Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Jr.

Sliding on Your Face Through the Ice

By Katharine Grubb 

A couple of winters ago, my kid went down an icy hill on his face. I didn't see it. I was a few yards away pushing his little sister in the swing. I just heard him crying. He cries when his carrots touch his peas, so I wasn't overly concerned. Until he came up the hill and I saw him.

The ice scratched his face up so badly, it looked like he got in a fight with an alley cat. Blood was slowly seeping out of the cuts. Bruises were starting to form. My four other children were playing happily, and we had just arrived at the playground about ten minutes before, so I didn't want to pack everyone up just yet. I wiped the blood off his face with someone's ski hat and had him sit on a park bench, trying to comfort him and also trying to call my husband.

If there is ever an area when my own insecurity and ignorance comes through, it's when my children are sick or injured. I need a Super Mom to descend on me and tell me exactly what to do in situations like this. I hate having to guess on my own. I'm never sure I'm making the right choices. If I were a parent of one, trips to the ER might be a lot more frequent. But because I have a crowd to deal with, I have to attempt to meet their needs too.

My husband wasn't answering his phone. All this did was make me more panicky. My little boy's injuries were really only scratches, but the bruises and blood (and his whimpers) made it appear to be much worse. It doesn't help matters that my active imagination (and too many episodes of House) was magnifying these injuries; my conclusion was this: I'm not doing this right, my children are suffering, I am a bad mother.

I told my big kids I would allow them to stay 15 more minutes and then we would go home. The wind was picking up and those of us who were standing around were getting very cold. I tried calling my husband two more times. Still nothing.

I needed my husband to tell me what to do. I needed him to see these injuries (I tried taking pictures with my phone, but Sad Boy wouldn't cooperate and the lighting was terrible) and make a diagnosis. I wanted the responsibility of potentially causing more harm to my children to rest on someone else's shoulders. I needed someone to see that I was an emotional mess and needed comfort too.

Within minutes, my other son fell off his sled and came up the hill crying. His nose and upper lip were scratched up and there was more blood, but his injury didn’t look as bad as his little brother’s. That settled it. We were done. I called everyone over and loaded the van. I couldn't think of anything we needed more desperately than hot chocolate and Motrin. (I could go for a drink, but that would have to wait until after dinner.)

I am such a pansy. I got home and finally spoke to my husband; I felt like an idiot for the fear and anxiety this little adventure caused me. Their injuries were just scratches and bruises, that was all. But yet, there was that lie: the one that says I am bad. I fail. It's my fault. That lie is still there.

Two weeks ago, my husband and I got into an argument. And while the episode was over soon enough, what lingered was the emotional bruising I gave myself. For days, I recounted the precise words that were said by both of us (never taking into account the fact that my husband had forgiven me completely) and concluded that the reason this issue was brought up to begin with was my fault. I am bad. I fail.

I don't know what made me think this - perhaps it was divine mercy - but at some point five days later, I realized that there was a simple solution: Step away from the lie.

My husband loves me. He and I have been married for 13 years. We have five children. If I were truly a failure, if I truly deserved rejection, if it were all my fault, wouldn't he see it too? He is meticulous, analytical and picky. He has strong opinions and never settles for second best. So how is it he picked me to marry unless there was some value here? Let's even go beyond my husband, let's look at someone who loves me deeper.

What does God say about me? I can get a clue about this from what he said about others. In John 8, there was a woman caught in adultery who was guilty, who failed, who was clearly at fault and Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

I am not used to seeing myself as un-condemned. I'm used to seeing myself as a mess. I'm used to having others point out my faults, then pulling out even more faults and then calling me names for good measure. I'm used to having arguments lead to eerie, malicious silences that might last for days, broken only by a joke. I'm used to every mistake being broadcast to others. I'm used to shame. I'm used to pain. I'm used to despair.

It's difficult to put down these lies, even though they've choked me for years. In my Bible reading, I've found that not only does it please God when I attempt to do so, He gives me strength to do this. He knows how weak I am.

My little boys' injuries are going to heal just fine. We're trying to figure out a funny remark when they're seen at church: You should have seen the other guy!...It was a Siberian tiger in our backyard! It's okay - I took it out. They're going to grow up stronger and more resilient for it. And if they ever play organized sports, they'll probably have far worse (of course, their mother will need sedatives at that point).

And I'll grow up too. I have an amazing healing grace that pours over me. It heals, restores and gives me strength to believe the truth. I am not bad, for I have God's righteousness. I do fail, but I have power in me to succeed. And whatever fault I have, God forgives me.

And that's even more comforting that Motrin, hot chocolate and a good stiff drink.

Great Advice from God's Little Petunia

By Katharine Grubb

This is the best advice I have ever received. If you can master it, it will save you much, much heartache. 

It is this: Do not compare yourself to others.

This is super-hard advice to follow. We're insecure. We often, as parents, don't know what we're doing. We have a natural tendency to look to our right and to our left and see what that other Mom is doing with her kids, and then we scramble to do it to, thinking that this will ease our insecurity. Sometimes it does. More often, though, it doesn't. So, we look somewhere else. 

Putting advice out there is risky. There’s always the possibility that it won’t work for you, and you’ll feel worse about yourself. Instead, I'm hoping that you take little bits, think through them, and know yourself well enough to know what might work and what might not. I'm hoping that you're teachable, right where you are, and not overwhelmed. 

This, I think, is the root of all the Mommy Wars. Certain opinionated mothers who decide that they know better than everyone and they push their ideas, and perhaps even their agendas, on other mothers and guilt ensues. We don't need any help feeling guilty, thank you very much; most of us can get to Guilt Land without any help at all. 

If we compare ourselves to others, then one of two things happens. We either compare our weaknesses to their strength and we come out downhearted. (Katharine bakes ten loaves of bread every Friday!?!? I am such a loser!)  Or, we compare our strength to their weaknesses and we come out smug. (She doesn't scrapbook! How will she remember her precious memories? She is REALLY going to regret that someday. Pass the glue and the crazy scissors!) 

The healthiest option is to value each other, and ourselves, as unique, with strengths and weaknesses from which we can encourage each other. How can you have a sister fourteen months apart from you and not compare? So, I tell my two tween daughters this: that one of them is a rose and one of them is a lily, both very beautiful, both very different, both a valuable addition to our garden. 

I see all of you mothers in the same way. One of you is an orchid, one is a peony, one is a rhododendron, one is an iris. Each of you has specific needs, specific qualities and specific beauty that is put in our group for a reason. None is valued any more or any less than the others. And so, as you go back home to your little gardens, you'll raise little flowers just like you, not like me, and not like mine. 

This is what God intended all along. It makes the world beautiful. 

Prayer for Preschoolers

By Anna Hamman

As a preschool teacher in a Christian School, that also has many students without Christian backgrounds, I wondered about how to pray with kids ages 3-5 that had never prayed, or maybe had never even heard the word “Prayer” before. Although prayer is a small part of our day, I wanted to make it meaningful and accessible for them.
So here are some tips on praying with tots this age:

1. Know that God loves to talk to children and children do talk to God. That may sound simple, but sometimes it is easy to think that prayer is too abstract or difficult for a child or that they would find it too boring. But neither is true. A child’s mind is often much more trusting and straightforward than our grown-up, busy minds can be. Some verses I love that show God’s love and acknowledgment of a child’s connection with him:

Matthew 18:1-5. 1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. 

God says that children have great faith and that we must become like them. That takes some of the pressure off of us as we try to teach them this “big thing” called prayer. God does speak to them and loves their faith, which suggests that they pray or think in a way that He likes. The other verse I love is:

Mark 10:14-16 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

2. Prayers do not need to be sophisticated or long to be meaningful or heard. They could just be, “Please make my grandma better” or “Thank you for sunshine” and God hears and loves their faith. For kids who don’t like to use many words, I have some creative ideas below.

3. Sometimes kids don’t always like to pray out loud. That’s OK. That doesn’t mean they never will or that they are not part of the process. You can model simple and heartfelt prayer. You can ask about what they want to pray for and then pray a simple prayer for them. In time, as they develop more language skills or feel more comfortable, they may choose to pray out loud.

They may also need another format. Below are just some creative ideas I have come across or thought of. Next to them I have suggested the ages I think are appropriate for each activity.
• Make a book with photos of things or people your child would like to pray for. Alternatively, your child could make drawings of each thing. Let them choose one each night where either you or they say the words. You may choose to pray for all of them (ages 2-5)
• If your children enjoy creating things, decorate a prayer box with a lid together. Include a slot where you place pieces of paper with things they want to pray for written on them. The child can draw one out and pray for it each night. Alternatively, write down your child’s prayers or have them write them down (if they can write) on pieces of paper and then post them in the box after saying them. At the end of the week/month take a look at them again and thank God for his answers. (ages 3-8)
• Link your prayers with action. For example, if you’re praying for a sick grandma, make a drawing or card together and send it to her. If you’re praying for kids in Haiti after a disaster, start sponsoring a child and write letters to them together to make it tangible and meaningful. (ages 4-12)
• Have a corkboard that you pin prayers to. I saw this on a kids prayer website and it was used with older children, but I think you could do this with younger kids too (4-12 yrs)
• Pray using a beanbag. The child holding the beanbag gets to pray then pass it onto the next person. If you have two or more children, this might be great. (ages 3-6)

4. Children are really compassionate. Sometimes we think children will only want to pray for things close to them or to receive things that they want (we do this as adults sometimes, too). Children really do care for issues beyond themselves , whether or not we talk about them.

I was touched when teaching a three to five-year-old group one day. When I asked what they wanted to pray for, one five-year-old said, “I want to pray for all the people in Haiti right now who don’t have houses and food, that God would look after them.” There was no prompting from me or anyone else at the time. She and one of the other children then prayed for Haiti. I think it is really important to think about others in prayer, and it is not beyond children to pray for people suffering on the other side of the world, if we talk about it together.

Prayer is powerful. Enjoy the journey
 

Bumkins Waterproof Bibs

By Anna Hamman

If you have a baby like I do and recently started feeding solids, you should check out these great bibs. I got sick of using the cloth bibs and seeing how easily they stained. These Bumkins bibs are great for babies ages six months to two years. They are made of a plastic material, and are light and easy to scrunch up in a bag if you go out. They can be wiped off easily and then chucked in the washing machine after a few wears. They dry quickly and they have good Velcro so your baby can’t pull them off easily. They sell a pack of three on Amazon, and here is their website. It may sound simple, but my hope is that products like this will help me cut down on the loads of baby laundry, so that I can spend time with her doing more meaningful things.

Growing a Spiritually Strong Family

By Julie Wilson

I highly recommend the book I just read, Growing A Spiritually Strong Family, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. I initially picked it up because I felt like I needed some fresh advice and wisdom from other parents. It exceeded my expectations and gave many, practical suggestions.

One idea that I immediately put into practice is making Scripture more easily accessible to the children. I have begun to write a Scripture verse on a blank piece of paper and post it on our fridge. Throughout the day we practice reciting the verse. By the end of the week, we have seen it and said it so many times, that the kids have it memorized. We are on week five of memorizing new Scripture verses, and now the kids get excited about helping choose the new one we will learn for the week.

As a Christian mother I want my children to know and love God. I also want them to have God’s word as the driving force behind their thoughts and actions. God’s Word is a guide for our children to live by. Posting Scripture on our fridge is one small way I am trying to reinforce the importance of Scripture in all our lives.