Ladies and Gentleman we have a TODDLER....Yikes!

By Jessica Floyd

Being a mom is hard.   Really, it is.   I have the most adorable, sweet, energetic little boy who I love to shower with adoration.  He was seriously the PERFECT baby.  People would tell me that I was so lucky to have such a sweet easy-going baby.  I knew this was a blessing, and that they were right.  I could see that my son had his father's easy-going, go-with-the-flow personality, and I could not be more pumped!  Well, my easy-going baby has now turned into a stubborn, strong-willed toddler.  Traits that I recognize a little too closely from personal experience.   Don't get me wrong, I still adore him, and he is still a very sweet little boy....he is just a little boy who's favorite word is now, "NO."  How is it possible that a toddler telling me, "NOOOO," can sting so badly? Well, it does. 

I have had a lot of experience with babies, and that stage never scared me, in fact, I loved every minute.   This, on the other hand, feels like a brand new game.  How do I be firm but kind?  How do I parent a toddler when I feel like I am learning along with him?  These thoughts occupy my mind as I am laying in bed at night.  This is a first for me.  I am always prepared, thorough.  I have a Master's degree in special education with a focus in behavior.  I can come up with all kinds of positive reinforcement solutions for school-aged children, but my son is a little too young for those now.  

We do spend a lot of time in Time Out these days. Really, it happens all the time.  He wants to be in charge and decide what he can and can not do.  I tell him no or ask him to stop what he is doing and, all the sudden, that old western music that comes on right before the outlaw and the sheriff draw their guns plays in my head.  I know I am showing him love by disciplining him and practicing consistency, but I never realized it would be so hard on me, his mommy, the one who has adored every move he has made every day of his life.

It got me thinking that this is just the beginning.  My son will continue to challenge me, frustrate me with his choices, and act out in ways I do not understand.  So yes, being a mom is hard.  Harder than I imagined because, when it is your child, things are personal.  You wonder if you are doing everything wrong, if you are too strict, too nurturing, too quick or slow to respond to their actions.  I just never understood how hurtful it can feel for an 18-month-old to look you straight in the eyes with an ugly face, stomp his foot, and shout, "NOOOOOO, NOOOOOO!"  It makes my heart sink every time.  I know this is age-appropriate, I know that this happens.  I just did not realize how devastated it would make me feel. The good news is I am not in this alone.

I feel like I have been praying a lot lately, praying specifically for my husband and myself as parents.  Praying that God will help us through this stage and that we can help bring out the character in our son that God intends for him to have.  I feel that this experience has brought me closer to God.  Maybe before I had a child of my own, I did not grasp how much God loves all of us.  We are His children, he has adored us everyday of our lives.  Boy, I know I have disappointed him by telling him, "NO" over the years.  God is the most perfect Father, and yet, I have been disobedient.  I know that my husband and I cannot be perfect parents, but it gives me comfort that God is the Heavenly Father of my child and He is going to help us along the way.

I came across this blog that gave me some reassurance, I hope if you are having the same issues at your house it can be helpful to you also.