Jul 13, 2011

Saying Sorry

By Julie Wilson

If you are like me, you will be on vacation this summer, and around extended family. My sisters all live in Illinois with their families, and we only get to see them a couple times a year. The cousins all get along really well, but kids being kids, there tends to be an occasional argument or fight. There happened to be an argument this morning between my niece and nephew over a toy. They both wanted to play with it at the same time, so one pushed the other, and the other started crying.

When my own children get into an argument with one another, and are angry, they usually do not want to be around the one they are mad at. But, my husband and I have always made the kids say sorry and apologize to one another for the fight. We try to get them both to calm down, take a deep breath, and realize what they did wrong in the situation. Then we have them not only say they are sorry, but ask for forgiveness. Just saying sorry did not seem like enough. We want our children to realize that they need to not only ask for forgiveness, but then also extend forgiveness to the one that hurt them.

Kids of course can be very stubborn, and may not want to say they are sorry, or offer forgiveness because they feel truly hurt by the other one. But if you stay consistent, and patiently wait, they will learn that this is the process by which they need to solve their disputes in a healthy, God-honoring way. 

We also have the two who are in the argument kiss and hug one another. We are a very affectionate family, so this seems to work well for us. It usually helps soothe the hurt feelings or the pain. Today, my nephew was being stubborn, as any five-year-old can be, but we patiently waited for him to say he was sorry and calm down, so he could hug his cousin and make things right between them. If you establish these guidelines early on with your children, they will learn about forgiveness in a way that will only help them in their relationships later on in life.


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