channeling your inner Mary Poppins: motivating toddlers, part 3

By Katharine Grubb

There was once a time in our lives that we ate like civilized people. We sat in chairs around a table, ate all the food of our plate with utensils, wiped our hands and faces with napkins and enjoyed conversation.

Then we had toddlers.

After the third spilled glass of milk, it is very hard to believe that meal time can be enjoyable, that your child will sit in his seat, eat his food, and refrain from sticking green beans up his nose. But I believe it can be done. A child can be trained to behave using games.

This is the third of a three part series on motivating toddlers. In the first article, I discussed why games are so effective. The second article explained how games can motivate toddlers to pick up their toys. But this article, the last in the series, is about eating.

I believe that family mealtime, whether you like it or not, is a rehearsal for public life. What is permitted at home will most certainly embarrass a parent at a fancy restaurant. A wise parent will train their child to show self-control, eat their food and be respectful, so that when you do eat in public, little Junior will know what to do.

You can teach him what to do through games.

Make a plan. You and your spouse need to agree what the accepted standards are at mealtime and stick to them. Must he sit in his chair throughout the meal? Must he eat all his food? Is throwing mashed potatoes frowned upon? Decide, as a team, in advance, and then stick to your rules at every meal.

Once you’re at the table, then it’s time to use the secret weapons I mentioned earlier in the series:

• Enthusiasm: A toddler will get excited about the things you get excited about. If you consistently make a big deal out of sitting like a big girl and using a fork, she will think it’s a big deal and want to please you.

• Healthy Competition: This speaks to the competitive nature of your children, especially boys. If they know they will “win” because of good behavior, they are more likely to chew with their mouth closed.

• Cheerfulness: I am shocked at how much my emotional tone sets the tone for the whole household. If I am cheerful in anything I do, my kids are more likely to be cheerful too.
With these three secret weapons, and a good game to play, you can get your kids to be little angels at mealtime.

Let’s play a game!

1. Race to 5. Of course when I sit at the table, my plan is to eat my dinner. I finish way before my children do. I had one girl on one side of me, the other girl on the other side and my fists in the air. If Ariel took a bite, one finger on her side went up. If Miranda took a bite, one finger went up for her. Which girl could get to five bites first? After the race, I close up my fingers and start all over again until the plates are clean. I was shocked at how quickly they learned to count to five. This will not work with more than two children. I’ve tried it.

2. Make up a reward song. “Brave, strong Corbin, he loves to eat his salad!”

3. Animal noises. They take a bite, (or two) and you do something silly like howl. Yes, it is undignified, but oh, Mommy, it is magical.

4. Mealtime Olympics. This is similar to the other Olympic games, mentioned in part two, but in these games we have specific events: the milk event, the meat event, the potatoes event and the vegetables event. Whoever finishes their event first gets the gold. Don’t forget your invisible medals!

5. Tell A Story. The most successful, most repeated story I ever told was about the vegetable amusement park and how all the little peas and carrots wanted to be lifted up into the fork and put into the dark cave and slide fast, fast, fast down the slide into Ariel’s tummy!

6. Don’t Tell A Story, Read One. But there’s a catch: You only read a sentence or two. If they want to hear more, they have to eat three bites.

But you are the most creative teacher your child has. If you have other methods, use them. Use them when you feel like making animals noises, and use them even when you don’t. The purpose, of course, is that someday, they’ll be trained to pick up after themselves and to eat like a civilized person.

And just think how easy life will be after that!