channeling your inner Mary Poppins: motivating toddlers, part 1

By Katharine Grubb

For eleven years in a row, I had at least one toddler in my home. I’m proud to say that I am still standing, I have all my hair and I haven’t killed any of them. In fact, the oldest children are now 12, 11, 9 and 7. They are, thankfully, old enough to, now brace yourself: dress themselves, feed themselves, take themselves to the bathroom and you’re not going to believe this…take responsibility around the house and eat like a civilized person!

The way I did this was the only way I knew how: I motivated my toddlers through games.

This is the first of a three-part series on motivating toddlers. In the first article, I want to discuss why games are so effective. The second article is using games for picking up toys. And the third article is about using games at the table, to get those little rascals to eat like civilized people.

Before we get started, I want you to have this little law written on your brains: Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is older, he will not depart from it - Proverbs 22:6. Lots of people interpret this verse differently. Here is a paraphrase for our use: Teach your children good habits and attitudes as toddlers, and when they are older, they will walk in those habits and attitudes most of the time...except when they are yelling at their sister.

The way to teach anything, I’ve learned, is to make the learning very attractive. I would like to suggest, that while our little guys are really little, let’s make obedience and self-control really attractive. Let’s appeal to their emotional, self-centered little hearts. Let’s make it all fun through games.

Games meet toddlers on their level. Since their entire world is play, why not meet them there to teach them to obey? Games come from an emotional point of view, not a logical one. Have you ever had a conversation with toddler? It makes no sense. They do not live in a logical world. So by speaking to them emotionally, we can motivate them more. Games can develop into habits, and that is our eventual goal.

What this means for you, Mom, is if you want to teach a toddler responsibility so that they will reap what they sow, then you need to become, ahem, A Mary Poppins. Get out your umbrellas and get ready to slide up your banisters, this is easier than you think.

To be a Mary Poppins you need three secret weapons:
  1. Enthusiasm
  2. Healthy Competition
  3. Cheerfulness

Enthusiasm is going back to your cheerleader days of “THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! WHOO HOO! YOU CAN DO THIS!” Real or fake, it doesn’t matter. You are the leader. Your children will follow your example no matter what they do. You have it in you, just jump up and down and act like a nut. Toddlers are attracted to this like flies to honey. It almost doesn’t matter what you do - jump up and down, have a special cheer just for when you’re picking up - just be enthusiastic.

The second is healthy competition and it is very powerful. I’m not talking about trash talk or stomping your foot if you lose, we’re talking about gently teaching competitive spirit. A lot of practice at home, winning and losing, will go a long way toward handling future competitions. You must set a good example - no pouting if you lose, and if you do this right, you’ll lose all the time!

The third secret weapon is cheerfulness. You must have a good attitude about your responsiblities. Especially if your Mr. Clean husband has a few suggestions that you don’t want to do. This message of unity will go a very long way in a child’s heart and will make them feel secure and loved. Also, you are setting an example for little ones. We influence our children in their attitudes toward work and responsibility. If we communicate attitudes of cheerfulness when we have to do the unpleasant, then our children will learn how to face tasks with a happy heart too.

Ethusiasm, Healthy Competition and Cheerfulness. Now it is time for games!

In the next segment, I’ll teach some sure-fire games to play. Get ready!


Editor's Note: This is part one in a three-part series. The other posts will be made on the next two Fridays.