8 shocking things that i've never done for my kids: here is where you judge me

By Katharine Grubb

This is a true confession. Like all of us, I don’t do everything perfectly as a mother, but I believe I’m a great mother anyway. I'm confessing this simply because I want you to see that we don't have to do it all. Doing stuff isn't what makes a mom great, it's being comfortable with who you are.

So, here's my list. And judge away!

1. I never had an elaborate bedtime ritual. No read aloud books. No songs. Just a hug, a kiss and a prayer. This works for us. If I did a whole dog and pony routine with five kids, it would seriously intervene with my alone time. I really like my alone time.

2. We never did anything at all with lost teeth. No tooth fairy. No present. No cash. This is what it looks like: "Mom! I lost a tooth!" "Okay, rinse out your mouth, throw it away. Now, go watch a video." I know this is shocking. I might be disowned if my own mother heard this, but even under conservative circumstances, say $1 per tooth, times five kids, times 20 teeth = A LOT OF CASH!

3. We never took our kids to studios to get their yearly portrait taken. In my hometown of Sand Springs, Oklahoma, this is almost as bad as blasphemy. I'd rather have nice, casual shots, and with our computers, we can do all these fun effects. Also, it’s cheaper and way less stressful.

4. We never did anything but Baby Jesus at Christmas. Santa is a happy idea, but he's not what Christmas is about. We tell our kids, "God loves us so much, He gave us the best gift of all, Jesus! In the same way, Daddy and Mommy love you too, here are your presents from us." Don't think they missed out on anything.

5. We never took a million videos. I don't know why. Okay, I think I do, I think I did it to rebel. My mom is extremely sentimental and when, as a teen, I watched my baby movies (back when there was no sound) she would get all emotional and start blubbering, "Where did my babies go?!" Instead, I'm taking the position of enjoying the present. I say to my kids, "You were so cute as a baby, you did this, this and this. But you are great today, just like you are!"

6. For this reason, I never scrapbooked. Plus having five babies in eight years kinda kept me busy.

7. I never got all fastidious about our diets. We already have this dairy allergy for one kid that keeps me alert, but honestly, I find that keeping up with every single potentially harmful additive exhausting. Instead, I monitor my family's foods with broad strokes: fresh fruit (but I don't go out of my way to buy organic), whole grains (make all my baked goods from scratch, thank you very much), less meat, less sugar, and few processed foods. This is all I want to worry about.

8. I never - and this is hard to admit - dedicated my last three kids at church. Will they go to hell for this? Uh, no. Will I? Also, no. My reasoning was out of fear. If I held a baby dedication, then my parents would have to come from Oklahoma to attend. And they would, most certainly, do something embarrassing and self-serving in front of my whole congregation, like they did at my older child’s dedication. So, I'll just play the grace card on this one. I wish now I had worked around it.

So, that's it. My big confession. If I were reading this list, I would conclude that my home life might be a bit dreary and dull. But, with five loud kids, it is far from that. My home is free of condemnation, mostly at least. I am happier because I've decided where I want to put my memories, my traditions and my concerns.

And no matter how you judge me, I know I’m still a great mom!