My 13-year-old daughter has lived her entire life allergic to dairy. This means that she can’t have milk, but she also can’t have ice cream, sour cream, cheese, items that are cheese flavored, whey, milk fat, milk chocolate, and butter. Her reactions include discomfort in her mouth, a closing in of her throat, and nausea. She has to miss out on a lot of things because of this problem, and we’re hoping she grows out of it, but while we have it to deal with, I feel like it’s changed my family and I for the better. Here’s why.
I’ve become a better cook. I find that by preparing everything we eat from scratch, I can guarantee that she will not react to it. I’ve learned to bake bread, make salad dressing, substitute ingredients, and stretch myself to meet her needs. As a result, we eat very well, ingest few preservatives and additives, and save money. This is a good thing
I’ve become a mean Momma Bear. My daughter depends on me to help her discern whether or not the well-intentioned neighbor with the plate of cookies can be trusted. Sadly, I’ve had to risk the feelings of friends because I can’t allow her to eat certain foods, like birthday cake at a party. If my kid reacts badly, then I always have to step in and protect her, regardless of the feelings of the other person. Sometimes the baker of the cookies understands the situation, but unfortunately, sometimes they don’t and I risk losing a friend. But my child comes first. My daughter feels protected because of my diligence.
I’ve learned not to assume anything. Labels on grocery items tell you everything nowadays, and I’m grateful that I can find out quickly if an item is okay for her to eat. Who knew that nacho cheese Doritos actually have cheese in them? And who knew that guacamole is dairy free, but guacamole dip isn’t? I’ve also learned to appreciate those adults around me, who in preparing food for her, take the time to do this.
I’ve learned to be discreet---at least I hope I have. She doesn’t want special attention over this, nor does she want to feel left out when everyone else goes out for pizza. I’ve had to learn delicacy and diplomacy in communicating her needs to others. I’ve not always succeeded in this, but I have tried and communicating is becoming easier.
Our family sticks by her. If she can’t buy ice cream from the truck at the park, then no one can. The whole family has taken ownership of her situation and helps her whenever they can. They also get very excited when someone offers them cheese!
I’m more compassionate toward health issues. Until my daughter’s allergy was discovered, I stupidly thought that food allergies were bids for attention or figments of imagination. Now I know they’re not and I’ve learned to ask parents about their child’s needs. I’m also grateful that we only have to avoid dairy -- it really isn’t so bad. A wheat allergy or a severe peanut one would be horrible.
She has learned thankfulness. Recently, she wondered, “why would anyone dislike any type of food? You should be grateful that you can eat what you can.” This allergy has made her wise.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining. I’ve decided not to complain about, but embrace, this one instead. We’re making our lives work just fine around this dairy allergy and we’re doing just fine.
Are you facing allergies with your children? How are you handling it?
Hi Katherine,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from. My youngest son was dairy intolerant for the first 2 years of his life, thankfully he has outgrown it.
My youngest daughter is currently on a wheatfree diet and is being tested for wheat allergies and coeliacs disease. I have learnt so much about food production and cross contamination etc. My family, both close and extended, are learning with me.
I pray that the results are not CD as this is an auto immune disease which a person has for life, whereas there is a possibility of outgrowing allergies.