meet: Kelly Hubert, part 1

Kelly Hubert is a country girl who currently lives in northern Illinois with her never-a-dull-moment husband, Jake, and their two girls Livia Grace (4) and Finley Faith (2). In addition to being a mom, her other jobs include Pilates instructor and childcare provider at the local YMCA, foundation Creator and President, and blogger. She is most passionate about her family, her faith journey, running/exercising, creating/crafting, and their Foundation.

Her story is pretty much like anyone else’s - she grew up happy and dreamed of marriage and a family. Everything seemed to fall into place like she hoped it would - she married a great guy, they both had good jobs, they were raising two little girls. And then they received news every parent dreads – their daughter, Livia, was diagnosed with a terminal, un-treatable genetic disorder called Sanfilippo Syndrome. She prayed, looked for more information and then took action, creating Liv Life Foundation. Through it, she hopes to spread awareness and raise funds for research, and she wants to help others facing similar battles. The Foundation has given a purpose to her pain, allowing her to do what she believes God set out for her to accomplish.

How are you using your strengths to bless your family? The ability to recognize my uniqueness and that who I am as a person contributes to this world in a positive way blesses my family, especially my kiddos. It has taken me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I have a unique perspective on life that has given me focus and determination to do good. I want my girls to grow up loving themselves for who they are, to live their lives pleasing no one but God. I also recognize that one of my strengths is the time and care I put into my family. Because my family is my priority, I know how important it is to take time for myself. This time enables me to take care of myself, which in turn, makes me a better mom and wife. Living a healthy lifestyle contributes to the all around well-being of this family.

What do you wish you were better at? 

Praying. This is something hard for me to admit. I’ve struggled with this for a long time. I pray, but I don’t feel like I pray enough. I catch myself praying when things are bad, but not when they are good. I need to offer praise and not always pray for help or forgiveness. We all have busy lives - putting the Lord first, keeping my kids and hubby happy, doctor’s appointments, running a foundation, training for a marathon, and on and on. What helps influence our success as a Christian parent is how we choose to respond to the busy-ness and how we prioritize things. 

Describe your perfect day

My perfect day would start out with my house being clean and picked up, coffee made, and blueberry pancakes with my kids and hubby. Then, I would get my run in and shower in peace. I’d then be kid-free for a bit, have lunch with girlfriends and do a little shopping (OK…A LOT, if this is my perfect day!). Mani, pedi, and massage with my sister. Then meet up with Jake and the girls for some dinner at a hibachi restaurant.

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day? If so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos? 
Absolutely! Truth be told, surviving the day is definitely crucial. However, having goals and dreams for a bright future help with that survival. I feel like I’ve been given “new eyes” for our future. Having a glimpse of what our future looks like with Livia has given us a new perspective on what life and everyday living should look like. My vision for my family, which helps in the chaos, has taught me not to sweat the small stuff and to teach my children to the best of my ability. The rest will be up to them. My vision may not be the same as what they will want for themselves. I pray that they will make the right choices and become contributing members of our society and live a life serving our Lord. I want our family to be a giving family. I hope our family, and our story will help others find encouragement, God, and hope. 

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children? 

Any opportunity that I get to teach my children why we are here or why the grass is green and give all the credit to our Savior, I take it. My kids are at the age where every word I tell them is something they believe to be true. Having that foundation of faith within myself, and with my husband, has helped foster that faith formation in my children. We attend church on a regular basis and we pray together as a family at meals and before bedtime. 

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household? 

A schedule. We thrive on our daily routines. My kids like the routines, and they know what to expect. They are also at an age where, if that routine is broken, they won’t break. My kids still nap, but if we make plans to go somewhere or do something out of the routine it still works. Like I said before, I take some time for myself every day. Join a local gym or YMCA that offers daycare. Exercising to start my day only makes the rest of my day go better. There’s something to say about endorphins! They are my drug of choice! J

I don’t feel bad about turning on the TV or putting in a movie if something HAS to get done. My girls get my attention for the majority of the day, so if I need to clean something, fold some laundry, or fill out some paperwork, I do it! I’ve found that procrastinating over things that need to get done only makes things worse.

Ask for help. This is something that I really struggle with! It’s something that I should have included in the question above. Especially having a child with special needs, I find it hard to ask others for help with anything. I don’t want to burden anyone OR have to explain why my child isn’t potty trained or why she doesn’t sit still. Delegating anything is hard for me. Maybe it’s a control thing, but I really think it’s more of the latter. I have learned that my spouse is my ally in this thing called life. He and my family are my support system.

Read part 2 of her interview on Thursday

Craft Hope: Christmas in Dixie

By Karen Brown 

You may remember being introduced to Craft Hope a while back. Its mission is “to share handmade crafts with those who need them."

"It is our hope to combine our love for crafting and desire to help others into a project to make a difference around the world,” the organization says. 

Well, they have a new project called Christmas in Dixie. Christmas in Dixie aims to “provide handmade stockings for the 12,000 families that lost everything to tornadoes this year. Yes, 12,000 families that will not be pulling the Christmas ornaments and decorations out of their attic. 12,000 families that have to build their lives again. We know we cannot do everything, but we can do little things. And these little things make a BIG difference.

In addition to having nothing, these families will face new needs that this season will bring, such as winter clothing, funds for heating, and gifts for their family members or in addition to the everyday needs they now face. There are groups helping supply toys for tots, churches help with clothing and food, even the Government will help somewhat. But no one will be concerned with these items that help form the traditions, and memories that we all remember as we grow up. We can only imagine how worry will begin to creep into the back of many moms’ minds, realizing Christmas is just around the corner and once again they will be reminded of those items that mean so much, like ornaments handmade through the years, pictures with Santa, and their own personal stocking being lost and gone for ever” (excerpt from the Craft Hope website).

If you like to sew or knit, consider making stockings this fall for those in need. This act would be a wonderful example of giving and love that you can share with your children and family as they watch you create. Maybe even get your kids involved in the project, like letting them pick fabric, cut out patterns, or pack the stockings in boxes.

The deadline for this project is Sept 23, 2011. Check out the website for more details.

Book Review: Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids

By Katharine Grubb

I’ve been down on myself lately and I picked up this book from the library thinking that perhaps it would encourage me in my parenting skills. I know a little about Dr. Laura Schlessinger, enough to trust her opinion.  

Some things included in her stupid list are: neglect, irresponsible conception, lack of discipline, indulgence, and distractions. Each thing gets its own chapter and all of them are consistent with Biblical beliefs. Even though Dr. Laura is Jewish, she firmly supports a Christian worldview, conservative thought, and the importance of faith in a family setting. She cites articles, gives statistics, and quotes callers from her radio show.  And she backs up the reasons why all of these things are, indeed, stupid. I found her data to be disturbing but not surprising.

I am glad I read this book. I found it to be a quick read and I came away from it feeling like my own intentions in parenting are not stupid at all. (They’re also not perfect, but I’m grateful that Dr. Laura would probably not find them toxic to my children.) I highly recommend this book specifically to new parents. Especially to new parents who were raised by parents who may have done some stupid things themselves.

that's just how god made it

By Karen Brown

My kids are little and, like most kids their age, full of questions. If I had a nickel for every time a little one asked me “why,” I would be a rich woman. Don’t get me wrong, I learn best myself by asking questions. I get why they do the asking. It’s just that, at times, my answer doesn’t seem to be quite good enough.

It tends to go something like this.

Them: “Why do giraffe’s have long necks?”

Me: “So they can reach high up and into trees to get the leaves they like to eat.”

Them: “But why?”

Me: “Because sometimes that’s the only place there are still leaves left after other, shorter animals have eaten.”

Them: “But why?” (following me around asking again and again and again)

Me: silent (now frustrated and wondering myself why giraffes have such long necks)

But behold, our family has an answer that seems to leave everyone satisfied and at peace. It is an answer that was given once by one of my kids’ babysitters. Are you ready? The response is... “That’s just how God made them.” Seriously, it works like a charm. So simple, huh? And I hear my kids giving this response quite often when others ask them questions they may not have answers to. It always cracks me up when I hear my three-year-old answer his own question with, “that’s just how God made them, right?” I love it! Try it next time your kids have a question. It even works on husbands sometimes too.

treasuring God in our traditions

By Karen Brown 

I first came across the book Treasuring God in our Traditions on the blog Under the Sycamore. Since the blog always has such wonderful ideas and ways to make God real to kids, I thought the book would be worth checking out. (So is the blog, by the way.)

One of the things that really resonated with me when reading this book was the way the author hoped to instill traditions in her children that drew them closer to God. The ways they celebrated events and traditions as a family would remind them of God’s hand in their lives. The author, Noel Piper, used the word infiltrate; infiltrate our lives with God. It got me excited thinking about the ways our family can intentionally incorporate the Gospel into everyday routines and activities.

The book offers many practical suggestions for encompassing tradition into both everyday life and special occasions like Christmas and Easter. It also challenges the reader to evaluate traditions and customs we currently subscribe to. Some traditions are worth keeping and handing down to future generations, while others may need a little reworking in order to have Christ at the center. The purpose of traditions, in the author’s own words, is “remembering what God did for His people, giving glory to God for what He’s done and so our children and their children will know Him.” (pg. 103)

This book feels like one of those I will reread as my children continue to grow and mature. My hope is that our family traditions will be ones my children will look back on fondly as some of the ways they most grew in Christian growth and were nurtured. You can get your copy of the book here.

HELLO, LIBRARY? THIS IS TODDLER! LET’S BE FRIENDS! How To Enjoy Your Library With Your Little One

By Katharine Grubb

One of the silliest things I did as a new mother was take my two month old to check out children’s books at my local library branch. I took them home, and read them to her. I had seen it in every parenting magazine that reading to you child, even your infants was important.

Honestly? After the first book, I felt ridiculous. Babies that small don’t need books. Instead, I talked non-stop to her (to develop those language skills) and we waited until she was a bit older to go to the library.

When my baby became a toddler, and had a baby sister, we went back. This time the purpose was to bring picture books home, look over them repeatedly and take them back to discover new favorites.

I knew, with time, that this would instill in my little girls a love of books and an interest in the world around them and hopefully make them life-long readers. We’ve gone to the same branch---with the same librarians---for the last eleven years and it’s become an extension of our home in some ways. The very goals that were mentioned in those parenting magazines are met: my kids are enthusiastic readers.

How does one start at the library? How does one go from first-time visitor to old friend?

1. Make the library a habit. The same day every week, or once every two weeks. Your toddlers will grow in their affection for books, the outing and time with you!

2. Bring A Bag. It is tricky to juggle a child, a purse, a stroller and a pile of books. Besides, you always check out more than you think you will. My personal record is 88 books. And I have two huge canvas bags.

3. Chat with the children’s librarian. It is her job to help you find with you need. If you have a good relationship with her, then you will get the most out of your library experience.

4. Start slowly. Toddlers only need two or three board books checked out at each visit. Don’t force their interests; let them develop naturally.

5. Look for books about those pet subjects. My daughter has checked out all the wildcat books dozens of times, even the ones that were too hard for her to read. My son did the same for the penguin books. This makes their library time more positive, allows for them to think about books as familiar friends and encourages them in their reading when they’re ready.

6. Have a plan, like alphabetically. Kids’ picture books are often alphabetized by the author’s last name. Start with the first five book that begin with A. Move on to the Bs when you’re ready.

7. Or, concentrate on one author per month. You can’t go wrong with H. A. Rey, Lois Ehlert, Steven Kellogg, Rosemary Wells, Margaret Wise Brown, Robert McCloskey, Chris Van Allsburg, Eric Carle, Virgina Lee Burton, Jan Brett, Don Freeman, and James Marshall. There are hundreds of great authors out there. If you need more suggestions, try Amazon.

8. Take Your Time. Rushing adds to stress, stress often makes noise. Libraries are supposed to be peaceful. If your visits are peaceful, then that will remind your child that this is a positive experience.

9. Limit the DVDs. That’s the first thing my kids want to check out, but I am always reluctant to do so. The main reason is that they are due in a week, while the rest of our books are due back in three weeks. This little fact had caused me to pay far too many fines because I forgot to renew the DVDs. I also want for my kids to see the library as a place for their minds. The latest Spongebob DVD doesn’t do much for that.

10. Check out the events. Libraries put a lot of energy into book discussions, story hour, lecturers, art shows, and kids programs. Take advantage of them. You’ll meet people, learn more about your community---and most of the time, they’re free!

11. Take advantage of online catalogs. Loved The Very Hungry Caterpillar but can’t find The Very Grumpy Ladybug on the shelf? A library’s online catalog is often system wide and can get titles for you to be held at your local branch. This is one of my favorite tools for educating my children.

12. And, get something for yourself! If your child sees you read, they will be far more likely to follow in your footsteps.

Now, thirteen years later after that first trip, all five of my children love going to library. They have their favorite titles and their favorite librarians. And all of them have a love of good books.

Why I’m Thankful For My Daughter’s Allergy

By Katharine Grubb

My 13-year-old daughter has lived her entire life allergic to dairy. This means that she can’t have milk, but she also can’t have ice cream, sour cream, cheese, items that are cheese flavored, whey, milk fat, milk chocolate, and butter. Her reactions include discomfort in her mouth, a closing in of her throat, and nausea. She has to miss out on a lot of things because of this problem, and we’re hoping she grows out of it, but while we have it to deal with, I feel like it’s changed my family and I for the better. Here’s why.

I’ve become a better cook. I find that by preparing everything we eat from scratch, I can guarantee that she will not react to it. I’ve learned to bake bread, make salad dressing, substitute ingredients, and stretch myself to meet her needs. As a result, we eat very well, ingest few preservatives and additives, and save money. This is a good thing

I’ve become a mean Momma Bear. My daughter depends on me to help her discern whether or not the well-intentioned neighbor with the plate of cookies can be trusted. Sadly, I’ve had to risk the feelings of friends because I can’t allow her to eat certain foods, like birthday cake at a party. If my kid reacts badly, then I always have to step in and protect her, regardless of the feelings of the other person. Sometimes the baker of the cookies understands the situation, but unfortunately, sometimes they don’t and I risk losing a friend. But my child comes first. My daughter feels protected because of my diligence.

I’ve learned not to assume anything. Labels on grocery items tell you everything nowadays, and I’m grateful that I can find out quickly if an item is okay for her to eat. Who knew that nacho cheese Doritos actually have cheese in them? And who knew that guacamole is dairy free, but guacamole dip isn’t? I’ve also learned to appreciate those adults around me, who in preparing food for her, take the time to do this.

I’ve learned to be discreet---at least I hope I have. She doesn’t want special attention over this, nor does she want to feel left out when everyone else goes out for pizza. I’ve had to learn delicacy and diplomacy in communicating her needs to others. I’ve not always succeeded in this, but I have tried and communicating is becoming easier.

Our family sticks by her. If she can’t buy ice cream from the truck at the park, then no one can. The whole family has taken ownership of her situation and helps her whenever they can. They also get very excited when someone offers them cheese!

I’m more compassionate toward health issues. Until my daughter’s allergy was discovered, I stupidly thought that food allergies were bids for attention or figments of imagination. Now I know they’re not and I’ve learned to ask parents about their child’s needs. I’m also grateful that we only have to avoid dairy -- it really isn’t so bad. A wheat allergy or a severe peanut one would be horrible.

She has learned thankfulness. Recently, she wondered, “why would anyone dislike any type of food? You should be grateful that you can eat what you can.” This allergy has made her wise.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. I’ve decided not to complain about, but embrace, this one instead. We’re making our lives work just fine around this dairy allergy and we’re doing just fine.

Are you facing allergies with your children? How are you handling it?

little dresses

By Karen Brown

Last year I came across an organization called Little Dresses for Africa; they make dresses for little girls living in orphanages in Africa. The dresses are simple, just crafted from pillowcases and bias tape. The dresses help show girls that they are worthy and loved by God, planting that message in their hearts. 

As our mission team at REUNION made plans last year to head out for the Dominican Republic to serve and build relationships with the people of La Mosca, several of the women in our community thought it might be fun to make these dresses to send along for the little girls there. I had read here how others had a party to make dresses for African orphans. We were inspired…so we had a party, sewed some dresses and had a lot of fun in the process. Even people from our community who couldn’t attend the party made dresses on their own to send along as well. 

Our team set out again this month to love on the Dominican people. Once more, we joined together in making dresses to send along. It’s one small way those of us not going on the trip can be a part of the big picture. 

Here’s a highlight video from the 2010 trip.
Here's where you can read more about REUNION in the Dominican Republic
Here's where you can find out more information on Little Dresses for Africa

it takes a village

By Michelle Berman

There is a very famous saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Kitschy or not, I think it’s true.

I am friends with a married couple who have six children. For most of these children’s lives, I was the only baby sitter/caretaker they knew. My friends entrusted me to care for their children. They taught their children to respect me and to listen to me. Over the years, I grew to model my disciplinary choices based on the behavior that these parents were teaching their children. Initially, I was unsure of what to say or how to care for these little ones. I grew up differently than the way they were raising these children. Inevitably, I disagreed with some of their methods or ways, but out of respect, I did what they desired because I knew they were training up their children in the way THEY thought they should go. Not in the way I would have them go. I knew my chance would come one day when I had my own children.

I will always be thankful for those moments of instruction I was able to provide for the kids, in something that they could do in a better way, because talking through things is my method. I would look up and watch their mom watching me and smiling, knowing I was imparting Godly wisdom to her children. It made me so happy to know that someday, this would be me with my children. I would like to imagine that she also thought she was letting me hone my parenting skills on her children.

Some bits of wisdom I took away from my time with this family and others were these:

1. Let other caretakers - family members and friends - in on your “big picture”. If they are to partner with you in your method of Godly upbringing, they will want to know that you don’t want the kids to watch Harry Potter, even though another parent in their circle may have no problem with it. Each parent has a different philosophy on how to raise their children. Each way is right. We want to respect that, but we won’t know unless you tell us.

2. Caretakers will want to impart some of their wisdom to your children. Let them. God is bringing these people into your children’s lives for a reason. Grandma may have a story of sharing that will speak to your little one in a way that is new. This does not detract from your discipline. It could also serve as an instructional tool later on... “Remember how Grandma taught you it is better to share? Well, she was right, wasn’t she?”

3. Keep them in the loop. A few days ago, I got a text message from one of the other kids I used babysit for. It said “Hi. This is Aiden. I miss you.” I haven’t seen the Browns in over a year. I am not a caretaker anymore. I may never be again to these sweet children, but I still have a connection to them and always will. As a parent, you need to understand that, insomuch as you have an intimate bond to the life you brought into this world, a caretaker will have a bond as well. It will not be as strong or the same, but it is still there. It is important to nurture these relationships. As your children become adults they will look back with fondness on the impact these caretakers made in their lives. I recently reconnected with a caretaker from my childhood. I remember very little about my time with her, but I do remember she loved me and invested time with me. It makes me so happy to know someone did that for me. Your children will not remember every person that passes through their life, but they will remember their caretakers.

Keep in mind, too, that you are a caretaker of sorts. This child is not yours ultimately, but a child of the King. You are but the chief of this village… enjoy your reign, and thanks for letting the villagers into your life.

soul surfer

By Julie Wilson

Poster from Wikipedia

The other night our family watched the movie, Soul Surfer. It is a true story about a young woman who loves to surf. She lives in Hawaii, a perfect place for surfing to be a major part of her life. But after a shark attack changes her life forever, she is faced with a lot of questions.

Her faith in God is presented throughout the movie, as well as her family’s belief in God. After the attack, she is faced with the question, “Why?” She asks her youth minister why God allowed this attack to happen to her. How many times have we asked God that same question when faced with something terrible or something that we don’t understand?

This young woman, Bethany, has to find her purpose again. Before her attack she lived to surf, but you see throughout the movie how she changes. She goes on a mission trip and realizes there is more to life than just being a good surfer.

After the movie, we had a great discussion with our children. We talked about how Bethany’s faith helped her get through the most difficult challenge she had ever faced. We also talked about how God can take something terrible and use it for His glory.

I will say as a disclaimer, our girls ages 7 and 9 did turn away and not watch the part with the shark attack. We were being cautious, and we didn’t want them to be afraid. Overall though, we highly recommend the movie, it was a great starting point to have a discussion with our kids about how God gives us the strength to help us work through our fears and challenges.

How I Tamed My Wandering Mind With A Timer

By Katharine Grubb

Back in ’96, I was a new bride and my apartment had a problem. It was full of shiny objects.

These weren’t literal shiny objects, they were actually things that distracted me from my domestic work. Like a good book. Like a good magazine. Like a cooking show on Food Network. Like some intricate daydream that might become a novel or short story. Like calling my mother, or checking the mail, or my e-mail, or giving myself a manicure. My life was full of little things that kept me from my job of maintaining an orderly house.

My highly distractable (and possibly attention deficit) personality was a bad fit for domestic life. The dishes weren’t getting washed. The laundry wasn’t getting done. The vacuum cleaner was covered in dust.

To make matters worse, I married Mr. Clean. He came from a long line of clean “freaks”, who scoured every surface, had a place for every scrap of paper and never owned a “junk” drawer. He couldn’t understand that I had the concentration of a goldfish.

I had to do something to make my living space more sanitary and enjoyable and to make my Mr. Clean happy. The solution was my microwave timer. At first, I decided to set a small goal---five minutes on a task, like washing the dishes. I could work for five minutes and then spend a little time on my favorite things and go back. The timer on my microwave became the alarm, and I figured if anything else, it would go off and bring me back to the real world. Hey, what’s that alarm mean? Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be dusting! But the timer did more than that. It made me feel less overwhelmed and less intimidated by mindless tasks. And because I rewarded myself every five minutes, I felt like my stuff, (the writing, the reading and the general goofing off) was addressed, too.

After weeks of this, I graduated to ten minutes, but I’ve found I can’t go for much longer than that---I start to mentally drift. That’s OK. Every ten minutes, I’m getting things done. In fact, I’m working faster and more efficiently. If the timer went off with only a small bit left to do, say three or four dishes to wash, I just wash them and get the job done. I had never wanted to accomplish great domestic feats, but this system changed me. I was becoming more organized and more disciplined with my time.

I also discovered that most domestic chores can be done in less than ten minutes. Like the following:

•Sort the laundry and start one load.
•Fold one basket of clothing.
•Clean the bathroom.
•Vacuum one room in my house.
•Dust one room in my house.
•Clean out the refrigerator.
•Unload the dishwasher and fill it again.
•Wipe all the kitchen counters and sweep the floor.
•Compile a shopping list.
•Start (but not complete) dinner.

This isn’t an exhaustive list. There are many more tasks around the house that, if broken down in small chunks, can be done every other ten minutes. If I stay focused on these little tasks, for ten minutes at a time, then I’ve only worked an hour and a half. I have the rest of the day to do what I need to do for myself for my family.

If I have a lengthy list, things like call for dental appointments, or write an article or go to the library, I break it down into the smallest tasks possible, enlist the help of my children and keep setting my timer.

To this day, fifteen years after setting my timer for the first time, I still work this way. I wrote this article in ten-minute increments between cleaning my kitchen, dusting my living room, making meatballs, organizing my desk and folding three loads of laundry. This system works for me, and my much-busier household. By setting my timer, I find that I’m faster, happier and a better housekeeper.

Not everyone can do this. Many people have the natural inclination to stay focused, or like Mr. Clean, are so driven they don’t need a timer or reminder to get back to work. And some people would say that for all the energy I put into setting timers, I could have cleaned out the house five times, but that’s not the point. The point is that I found a weakness in how I work and I also found a solution. Wait, is that the ice cream truck???

This works for me. It could work for you.

Do you have attention problems around the house? What do you do to keep yourself focused?

A tip for making baby food: ice cube trays

By Anna Hamman

I realize baby food and feeding in general are often sensitive topics; organic vs. non-organic, breast milk vs. formula, store-bought vs. homemade. I also realize that different things work well for different people, and that all children, families and budgets are different. I am, therefore, not about to proclaim that this is the right way or “the answer.” This is just a tip that helped me. 

I decided that from the beginning I would like to make the majority of my baby food when my baby started eating solids. It worked out to be cheaper for us and I hoped it would be somewhat healthier for her. I do not love to cook, however, so I wanted to find an efficient way of doing it. Someone gave me the tip of steaming vegetables and fruit, blending them to make purees in bulk, and then freezing them in ice cube trays. After they are frozen, you then empty the frozen blocks into zip lock bags or containers and label them to go back in the freezer.

Each time my daughter had a meal I would microwave defrost one or two of those blocks, and there you have it: a meal that’s healthy.

Now I tend to make new purees in bulk once every two weeks when we run out of food or variety. She still has fresh things in between and snacks like yogurt and crackers but her dinner comes from these frozen blocks. When she gets more teeth we will continue to move on to chewier and more solid items.

I think this system helped me feel more organized and was simple for me. What kinds of ideas help you get organized with baby and toddler food? Do you have simple healthy recipes for babies or toddlers? Please share.

The language of a princess

By Katharine Grubb

Perhaps I am just tired. I did have my fifth baby at 38. Perhaps I’ve gotten lazy, thinking that my vast mothering experience will make everything easier. Or perhaps my suspicions are correct, that my youngest child, my beautiful blonde, blue-eyed daughter was the biggest challenge I ever faced as a parent.

I’ve kidded that if you took all the willfulness of the previous four children, put it in a pot and cooked it down until it was concentrated, you still would not get the willfulness of my fifth. Perhaps it’s best that she was last. If she were first, she may have been the only.

All the others napped until they were four. She stopped at eighteen months. All the others read early, she doesn’t want to try. When I turned on my mean mom voice and said, “Come to me this instant!” all the other children obeyed. She was the one that took off running. All the others were convinced that getting an M&M for tinkling on the potty was a great bargain. She sighed, rolled her eyes and said, “Do I have to? I did this yesterday.”

The terrible twos are to expected with every child. This is when a toddler realizes that they are an independent entity from their parents and that the world is a great place to explore. With my daughter, however, things didn’t calm down when she turned three. Nor did they improve at four. Her vocabulary just got bigger and her demands got louder and I was, far more frequently than with the other children, at my wit’s end with her behavior.

I know how to do this, I would think. Why does she give me so much trouble?

One summer morning, during our habit of reading a book, the battle between my daughter and I started again and I very nearly gave up. If God had not intervened and given me practical ideas on how to manage her, I don’t know what would have happened.

We had a stack of books to read on the porch. She sat next to me on the steps and sat through the first one pretty well - just a few interruptions and no more wiggling than I would expect in a four-year-old.

I let her choose the next book; she chose The Very Noisy Cricket. The novelty of this book is that in the back flap there is an actual cricket sound that ties in with the story. I opened the first page to read and she put her hands on the book.

“No!” She demanded. “Go to the back!”

“No!” I said calmly. “We’re going to read the book together, then when we get to the end, then, we’ll hear the cricket.”

“No! I don’t want to do it that way!”

“Yes. This is the way we’re going to do it. If you want to read with me, you will listen to the story first.”

“NO!” She yanked the book out of my hands and flipped it to the end of the book.

“What are you doing? You will not act this way!” I took the book from her. Her requests were not unreasonable, but her manner and her disrespectful tone with me were so out of line, I could not, under any circumstances, allow her to get her way.

"I WANT THE BOOK!” Now, she was red in the face and screaming. She stood up and jumped up and down.

“No! You are done. You will not get the book. You are going into the house right now!” I grabbed one of her hands to lead her into the house; she fought me the whole way. “I want the book! I want the book!” She was so angry that she was beyond comprehension. She screamed, stomped, clenched her fists and fought me. I couldn’t believe that it wasn’t even nine o’clock in the morning and we were already having a battle like this. I thought to myself, this could be the first of many.

I led her to her bed and said, “You are to lay down. You will not get up until I say so. No more books. No television. No toys. Nothing. Not until I say so.” Her behavior was so horrible, that she deserved to have our version of a spanking. But I was so upset, I knew that I would not administer it in the correct manner. For now, the time out would have to do.

But she did not submit. While she was horizontal, she was not still. Her fists were still clenched and she still screamed. She kicked at the wall, pounded her legs on the bed and roared in anger. All of this because I wouldn’t let her listen to the cricket.

I could have let her have her way. But while that would certainly make our reading time better in the short term, it would only encourage her tantrums in the long term. I did not want a little girl who screamed to get her way. I wanted a little girl who could control her emotions, who could comply with rules, who was nice to spend time with. How do I get that little girl?

This episode made me doubt everything. How could I not control her? I had been a public school teacher. My first year I had 27 fourth graders. Did I do a better job with those children than I’m doing with my own daughter? Why can’t I figure out a solution?

And then I prayed. God, I need help. Give me an idea. I need something that works. Fast.

I believe that God hears us and wants to give us practical solutions to our problems. Within minutes, I realized, or rather, God showed me, that the tools I used as a teacher would work with my daughter.

I was taught, as a teacher, to make rules clear to children. I was taught that they should take ownership of their behavior on a daily basis, that they should have things explained in their language, that they should have visual reminders of the rules and know precisely what the consequences are. Is it possible that I could implement this theory in my home?

After I calmed down, I came up with a plan.

In my daughter’s world, the greatest pictures of all were of princesses. On a piece of card stock, I had her draw four. One pink, one purple, one red and one yellow - two on each side. At the end of the cardstock are loops of ribbon, so that this card can be hung from a bulletin board, where she can reach it. One of the princesses will be seen at all times.

I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that how she spoke to me and how she acted was unacceptable. I told her that she should ask me to forgive her. She did.

Then I asked her how princesses should act. In her world, they were pretty. I said that pretty hair and eyes and pretty dresses are just part of a princess, what comes out of their mouth is also part of it. She understood this. I said, when you yell and scream and want something when I say no, you are ugly. You can’t be a princess like that.

“You can’t?” She was confused.

“They will not let you be a princess if you are ugly on the inside.” This sobered her. “I am going to help you be a princess with this card. Every morning you will be a pink princess. But, if you are naughty once, let’s say you say no to Mommy, then you become the purple princess.” Purple was always second to pink in her little mind. “If you do another naughty thing, then you become the yellow princess. If you are yellow, I’m taking away Baby Cinderella for the day.”

She gasped. She could not imagine life without her favorite dolly.

“If you do another naughty thing. If you go all the way to red, then,” I paused for effect. “Do you know what happens to you?”

“What?”

“You and Daddy will have a long talk in the bathroom. And you will not like it.” I was alluding to a spanking. She fully understood what I meant.

“But the good news is this: if you stay on pink all day long, you can watch a princess movie!” This was a real treat for her. She smiled and clapped her hands.

I didn’t stop there. I made her repeat to me what the steps were for each princess, for each level of offense. This would not have worked if she were not developmentally ready. Then we talked about what kind of behaviors should be punished. I was surprised at how many she came up with. Then, I allowed her to do the drawing and decorating of the card. This allowed her to take ownership of it and feel like it wasn’t a mandate from the mean Mommy. I also told her that her behavior of the morning put her on purple for the day. But tomorrow was a new day; she would start every morning on pink.

We hung it in a place where she could reach and flip it herself. When her brothers and sisters asked about it, she explained it with pride. I was amazed. And I prayed that this would work.

Over the next few days we consistently used the card. Any offense, saying no to me, using her hands in anger, disobeying, was punished by a flip to the next color princess. I could tell her to “flip to yellow” calmly without raising my voice. And she, surprisingly, felt more remorse. She was trying to stay on pink, and when she did, and Daddy saw at the end of the day, everyone celebrated with her.

In the next few weeks, her behavior changed dramatically. We could get through a day without a tantrum. Then it was a week. Then it was a month. She started staying on pink so frequently, that there wasn’t even a need to use the card. And I encouraged her often and I told her, “You are becoming such a beautiful princess. You are fun to be around. You are pretty on the outside and the inside.”

I even made a modified card for her brother with NFL teams on it. If he was well behaved, he was a Miami Dolphin. If he had three offenses, he was a Dallas Cowboy.

My daughter is now five and half. She is an entirely differently child than she was a year ago. Thanks to God, and his practical solutions, I enjoy being with her.

How to Make Your Own Card:
1. Consider if your child is developmentally able to handle this. My daughter was four. Not every four-year-old can get it. If your child can communicate to you what good and bad behavior is, then it’s likely this will work for him.
2. Make the illustration personal. My then six-year-old son would never have changed his behavior for princesses. By adding their least favorite colors and their least favorite teams for the worst level, they could sense the severity of the offenses. By letting them choose the pictures, and coloring them makes them proud of themselves.
3. Be clear what is acceptable and what is not. Your instructions to your child should always be specific. “Lower your voice and speak respectfully” is more effective than “Get your act together.”
4. Communicate to them that you’re working together as a team to help them become wise. They are not “bad”. When they do make mistakes, stay as calm as possible and remind them of the consequences.
5. Choose your rewards and consequences with care. Make them specific. You’ll know you have a sufficient consequence for bad behavior when they looked shocked. My son was not allowed to sleep with his stuffed penguins if he got to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This was torture for him.
6. Be consistent. This will not work if you do it on Monday and Tuesday, but forget about it the rest of the week.
7. You can also use this when you are out. If you child acts up, just say, “When you get home, you’re flipping the card. And I will not forget about it.”

This has worked miracles in our family. It may work for yours too.

If you want to try this and have questions, leave a comment. Or if you try it, and it works, tell us about it!

Experiencing God’s Creation

By Julie Wilson

A couple of weeks ago my family and I took a trip down to Hannibal, MO. We went to explore and take a tour of the Mark Twain Cave. My kids had never been in a real cave before, so they were all pretty excited.

It was awesome! Our tour guide did an excellent job telling us stories about the cave and giving fun facts about it. She even made all the kids jump when she turned off all the lights to show us how dark it truly is in the cave, and then yelled really loudly as she was telling a story in the dark.

When we got back to my sister’s house that night we were all still buzzing about the cave. It was a great opportunity for us to talk about the beauty of the cave and how awesome it was that God created it. A lot of times we don’t stop to recognize the wonder of God’s creation and His detail, but this was one of those moments when we had a great conversation talking about how much we do appreciate God’s magnificent creation and were just in awe of Him.

The next night my dad took all the kids outside to do some stargazing. He had his binoculars and all the kids took turns looking up into the sky. My sisters live out in the country, so the brilliance of the stars there is unlike what we see living in the city.

This was once again another opportunity for us to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation. I encourage you to find times this summer with your family to experience the beautiful world God graciously gave to us. What are ways you have done this in the past? 

when a pet dies

By Karen Brown

While on vacation this summer visiting my parents, their family dog passed away midway through our trip. It was a dog my children had met and played with many times before, but since we live across the country, not a pet they interacted with regularly. When my dad called me from the vet saying they had to put the dog to sleep, my mind raced with how I was going to explain to the children (ages 2, 5 and 7) what happened to Daisy. I hopped online hoping to find some wonderful article that would help me better field their questions: “Do dogs go to heaven?”, “What happens to her body?”, “Why did she have to die?” I wanted to answer them in age-appropriate ways that wouldn’t scare them, but also wanted to be truthful about what happens when something, or someone, dies.

To my surprise, my children really didn’t ask many questions. I explained in as few words as possible that Daisy was sick and died and that she wasn’t hurting anymore. When my daughter asked if she was in heaven, I told her that I wasn’t really sure, that the Bible doesn’t really say. But that the Bible does say that heaven is a beautiful place and it has everything we need. I expected to her to press me on the question at hand, but she really didn’t. I expect I got off easy that day. They did grieve in their own ways; they all cried saying they would miss her.

My oldest wrote notes and drew pictures for her grandparents of fun times she had with their beloved pet. Earlier in the week while walking Daisy, a greyhound, the dog spotted a rabbit and took off dragging Aiden across the grass a few yards. Not funny in the moment, but certainly humorous as we recalled funny pet stories.

I know this is a subject our family will have to address again in the future, I’m certain it’s just a matter of time.

How do you answer your children’s questions about the death of a pet? How do you explain what heaven will be like and who and what will be there? I imagine we will probably not know until we get there, but in the meantime, I’ve got some curious kids to answer to.

Under Three

By Anna Hamman

Recently I read a newly published book for families with children who are under three years old. It is beautiful in its simplicity. It is mostly black and white photographs exhibiting two children playing and experiencing all kinds of things. There are captions to go with the images that give you simple ideas of how to play and encourage learning with your young child. Most of its message, however, is told through images.

In a world of so much parenting advice and toys and gadgets that can sometimes be conflicting in advice or overwhelming, this is a really simple book that is a refreshing reminder of how important play and simple low-cost or no-cost experiences with your children can be. I really enjoyed reading this and taking in some new ideas for play and learning with my 14 month old. There are so many possibilities! Take a look at the preview and the reviews on the website.

What are some of your favorite play experiences or games with your one to three year old?