Give: Love Letters To Strangers

By Erin Glabets

Imagine writing a love letter to someone you’ve never met. A note telling someone that they’re not alone, that they’re special, and that they’re loved. Think of the hope it could bring to someone suffering from sickness, relational heartbreak, or just plain solitude.

The World Needs More Love Letters, a recently launched online community, is trying to do just that. It was started by Hannah Brencher, a twenty-something who began writing letters to strangers as a way to find hope and healing from her own pain. In her own words: “We are on a mission to spread more love letters out into a world that so desperately needs them. Through writing, leaving and mailing love letters, we are learning to turn our words into lanterns to light the paths of others.”

The group encourages others to write inspiring notes, package them in a way that they can’t be ignored, and leave them in places---like books, coffee shops, trains---where people will be compelled to pick them up.

More Love Letters also mails a bundle of letters every month to someone who’s especially in need of the hope and encouragement; they are building an e-mail list of writers who want to be part of that mission, too.

It’s just about to finish up an awesome 12-day Christmastime push for love letter writing (I just discovered More Love Letters days ago, so I’m a bit late in telling you about it.)

Each day from December 5 to December 17th, they’ve been featuring one special recipient, and they give you a week to mail your letter for that person to their headquarters. Those recipients include Anthony (recently lost the love of his life to cancer), Julia (a seven-year-old battling cancer), and Josie and Hannah (sisters dealing with their parents’ divorce). Writers have a week to get their letters in the mail---so you if you're interested, you still have time to write to some of the recipients featured in the past few days.

I think writing love letters is an incredible way to celebrate the “giving more” aspect of Advent Conspiracy. This week my community group studied the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke and discussed what it means to be a true neighbor to someone. Writing one of these love letters strikes me as a way to be a neighbor to someone you’ve never met and never will meet. It feels a bit silly and even scary to communicate to a stranger in this way, but I love the challenge of it.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog 

I hope to dig deeper into the story of Hannah Brencher and More Love Letters soon, so check back. In the meantime here are some ways you can get involved:

• Check out the More Love Letters blog for some of the people you can reach out to with love letters during this these last couple of days of the Christmas campaign. Commit to writing them here.

• Check out the group’s Love Letter Writing 101. And its do’s and dont’s. (Hints: don’t actually make them romantic and mushy or don’t try to give advice. Do tell your story honestly and get creative.)

• Pull out some homemade stationery and write! Invite friends over and make it a party where you can all do it together. Do it with your families and kids. Leave them in places where people will find them. And take pictures to document the experience.

•Join the subscriber list to be part of future love letter writing bundles.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog 

Things I Try Not To Say To My Kids (And More Truthful Things I Say Instead)

By Katharine Grubb

Moms, we have a powerful weapon at our disposal: our words. We all know the painful things that were said to us as children, some even by our parents. We all know that words can leave a permanent, painful reminder of how we have failed or how hard life is.

I’m not perfect, but I want to think long-term about how my words affect my children.
This is a list of things I try not to say to my kids and the more truthful things I say instead.

I’m always going to be there for you. This isn’t true. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to forget to pick them up from soccer practice. I’m going to misunderstand them. Sometimes I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. And, even though this is morbid, I can’t control exactly how long I’ll live. I’d rather say, I’m going to give you my best.

You can do anything. Also, not true. My daughter will probably never play for the NFL. My son might not get to fly into outer space. And the chances of me having a future president in my home right now are pretty slim. Instead I say this, God has given you some amazing gifts and he’s got some great plans for you. Let’s trust him for your future.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Sounds like an innocent question, but I think it can subtly send a message to kids (especially sensitive over-thinkers like me) that your job is your identity. Instead, I ask, How can I help you be more like Jesus?

You are going to college. Realistically speaking, college isn’t for everyone. I’d rather work with my child to figure out the best path, not just the assumed path, for him after high school. This decision will be based on his specific strengths and passions and not the once-valuable prestige of a college education. And I’m not so sure I’m willing to fork over $30K a year for my daughter to be a professional puppeteer. Instead, I say, God has a perfect plan for you.

You owe me. Boy, I hate it when moms, especially moms of adults, remind their children of their difficult pregnancies, days of labor, C-sections, dirty diapers, etc. This totally communicates to the child that the hard work wasn’t worth it and that mom is expecting some sort of payback. No, we love unconditionally. We, as mothers, should have low expectations of our children, even as adults! Then, when they do bless us and care for us, and eventually return the favor of the whole diaper-changing thing, we can truly be grateful.

I am ashamed of you. Honestly, I have felt this way about my children’s behavior. But I try not to communicate shame. Instead, I try to use my words to express forgiveness and reconciliation; at some moments it’s easier than others. This doesn’t mean they don’t get punished for their sins. This just means that my acceptance of them as a person isn’t threatened. Instead, I say, We all make mistakes. I forgive you.

You are so pretty. This is a hard one to reign in. I have three beautiful daughters and I want them to be confident with their looks, but I don’t want them to be so caught up with their appearance that they neglect their character. Instead I say, What makes you beautiful is that your inside matches your outside.

Anything negative about Daddy. Daddy and I don’t always agree. Sometimes we can work out our differences out of earshot from the kids, sometimes we can’t. But I believe that if my kids detect any negative vibe from me about Daddy, then their inner security is threatened. Instead I need to vent in a private way, forgive Daddy, express unity and allow the kids to see us make-up.

Let’s take our words seriously, moms. Pray over what you can change about your words and practice saying the graceful and uplifting.

Sharing the Gift of Giving

By Karen Brown 

When we started participating in Advent Conspiracy a few years ago, we shared the concept with our parents.  They were originally less than excited about toning down the gift giving, but they eventually embraced the idea and made it their own in a really cool way. 

They still wanted to spend what they had budgeted on the kids, but wanted to be able to give the kids the experience of “giving more” and “loving all."  Here’s what they came up with.  They took their budgeted gift amount and “tithed” a portion to the kids in cash.  The kids then took their envelopes of cash and were able to give away the money from Grandpa and Grandma.

I love the idea of the kids being engaged with their grandparents in blessing others.  It opens up doors for conversations about the impoverished and invites dialogue on what it looks like to love others with the resources we have.  Our kids ended up buying animals for a family though World Vision.  Here are some other great ideas for kids; many of the websites have great videos the kids can watch as well.  (Consider previewing them first to make sure they are age-appropriate.)

•Samaritan’s Purse: livestock, sporting gear, help build a school

 Photo from Samaritan's Purse

•Living Water: fresh water wells so children can attend school

 Photo from Living Water International

•Compassion International: child sponsorship

•A local homeless shelter or food pantry

How do you invite your children into giving cheerfully? 

Welcome Baby Jesus

By Katharine Grubb

In the spirit of keeping the Advent season simple and meaningful, I am delighted to share with you, Welcome Baby Jesus: Advent and Christmas Reflections for Families by Sarah Reinhard

The author says on the first page, "Advent is a season almost forgotten by the secular world. You’ll find Advent calendars, but they are simply an adornment for the “Christmas Season,” which begins sometime after Halloween and ends on Christmas Day."

This simple, whimsically illustrated book goes through the days of Advent with easy discussion, simple readings and practical application of what it means to worship Jesus in the Advent season. I found this book to be easy to follow and full of grace. It has the perfect combination of theology, practical living and excitement for my little ones. I find myself scrambling for Advent resources about December 5th, and what I like about this book is that I can pick it up at any point and still get a lot out of it. I want my Advent season to be full of meaning for my children, and I’m grateful for easy resources like this one.

The author continues, "After all your presents have been opened and the decorations put away, we still have a Baby who changed the world and who is, at the heart of it, the biggest reason for our celebration. Everything else is secondary to the arrival of our Messiah."

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus to my home this Advent Season!

ruffled welcome

By Marianna Whitson

This wreath has been pinned on my Pinterest board for quite some time, so I was excited to actually make it.  I originally found it on Design*Sponge and thought it looked really cute.

Since we're making an effort to spend more time with people this year (and less on gifts), I thought it would be fun to add a new Christmas decoration to our home.  A fun welcome for people when they arrive for dinner (or drinks or a football viewing).

Felt again for this project. The tutorial called for 2.5 yds (!) of felt, but I think I only ended up using about 2 yards.  I guess it depends on how full you want your wreath.  And I had what I thought was a great idea to add some wintry blues to the all-white wreath, which ended up being, as my husband put it, "a little too crafty." And I agreed, so you'll noticed that the blue disappears by the end of the project.

This project was a definitely more expensive than the felt garland, but not crazy; I was able to get the felt on sale, too.  You'll need the felt (2-2.5 yards), pins (enough for each circle which turns out is A LOT!), a 12" styrofoam wreath, scissors, circle template, pencil (i used a disappearing fabric marker) and a scrap of ribbon.  I made it in about 3 sittings, and it seems like it took a really long time, but easy, kind of mindless work.  It would also be an easy project for older kids to help with since there's mainly tracing and cutting involved.

First, I created my circle template out of an empty cereal box. I wanted something more substantial than paper, but not as heavy as cardboard.  I used a random candle stick base to trace a ~3" circle onto the paperboard and then cut it out.  Easy peasy.

After that, it was on to the circle tracing.  I folded my fabric in half so that there'd be 2 pieces for every circle I traced and cut.  I did the tracing several rows at a time and then cut them out.  Traced a few rows and then cut.  It was better for my tired hands to vary it at least a little.  Once it seemed like I had a decent amount - aka towers and towers of wobbling felt circles - I decided to start pinning them onto the wreath.  I didn't want to waste supplies and time and effort cutting out more circles than I needed.  Plus, again, it would give my hands something different to do.  

Each circle is folded in half once (to make a semi-circle) and then in half again.  You stick the pin through the bottom corner to make the "rosettes."  I wasn't really sure how to arrange them on the wreath, but I just sort of eyeballed it as I went.  Once I had a batch pinned in, I went back and fluffed them a little, moving and re-arranging where necessary.  

It turns out that the towers and towers of felt circles only covered about half the wreath...back to tracing and cutting and pinning (repeat repeat repeat).  Once I made it all the way around, I gave it a once-over again, fluffing, moving, re-pinning.  



For the hanger, I originally just cut a strip of felt instead of using ribbon, but decided that ribbon would probably be sturdier.  And seeing as the wreath is a snowy white, I didn't want it falling onto our dirty porch.  So I replaced the short felt strip with some scrap ribbon I had leftover from another project (you can't see it so it doesn't matter what color it is - mine is pink!).  One thing I did do was make sure that the 2 pins holding the ribbon into the wreath were angled up when I pushed them into the foam, just in case they were thinking about popping out, it seemed slightly more secure that way.

Whew!  Turned out pretty cute if I do say so.  One other thing that I thought would be cool to try is an ombre color shift...but that's probably a little ambitious!

YOU ARE NEITHER MARTHA STEWART NOR MRS. CLAUS: How To Keep The Holiday Season Simple With Infants and Toddlers

By Katharine Grubb

I was eight months pregnant and suffering from hypertension but where was I three weeks before Christmas? At Jo-Ann Fabric, buying supplies to handmake my daughters, then ages three and two, the perfect gifts for Christmas. And I didn’t even sew. The cashier asked me what I was doing and I told her. She frowned and said, “You put all this back. Those babies don’t need another toy. They need you. Take care of yourself, Mama. You don’t have to have the perfect Christmas.”

I didn’t follow her advice. After all, she was just a nosy busybody. But I should have. I should have not tried so hard to make Christmas special (for toddlers who wouldn’t remember it anyway) and just concentrated on making it a simple celebration for my growing family. I was, after all, not Martha Stewart. So I didn’t need to try to be.

It’s very exciting to have the magical season around us, especially when we finally have a family of our own. But if we have high expectations, then we’re setting ourselves up for stress, burnout and probably a crying jag. Which isn’t at all why Baby Jesus came to earth in the first place.

And before you get in over your head with a sewing project, or find yourself on bedrest, rethink your Christmas expectations and maybe follow this advice instead? I am sure your holiday season will be the happier for it.

1. Stick to the basics. Isn’t Christmas, at its essence, a time for family, gifts and a meaningful experience? Ask yourself how you can define this in the simplest terms around the basic needs of your family. For example, your family needs to eat breakfast, but they don’t need gingerbread waffles on Christmas morning, especially if you’re opening gifts and then driving to Gramma’s four hours away.

2. Don’t start a mega tradition. Now that you have your own family, it’s tempting to think that you are instantly transformed into that Mrs. Claus-like matriarch. You aren’t. The best, most meaningful traditions are the ones that grow organically out of your own family’s needs from year to year. Ours include making gorgonzola mashed potatoes and having funny name tags on the gifts. These traditions came out of our experiences and personalities and they look nothing like my mother’s or grandmother’s traditions. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

3. Keep things simple. With little ones, the abstract idea of Jesus can be hard to grasp. Toddlers can understand “Baby Jesus’ birthday” or “Christmas is about love”. As they grow up, add to this in ways they can understand.

4. Beware of over-stimulation. If a child is over-tired, and has eaten too much sugar, and stayed up too late, don’t expect them to be on their best behavior when the relatives drop by.

5. Discuss your plans early. Communicate early and often with spouses, extended family and friends about what you can and can’t do this year. And then stick to your plan.

6. Gain perspective. The holidays come every year. Your child has a lifetime of traditions and activities and events to enjoy with you. You don’t have to make this year the biggest, busiest and brightest. Next year may be easier to do more, but even if it is not, understand that you’ll have many more Christmases in the future.

7. Say no. If you ever get caught feeling guilty for what you didn’t do around the holidays, then you’re pleasing the wrong people. You are the mom. You get to set the tone for the holidays for your family. You know everyone’s limitations and needs. You can say no to invitations, expectations, or over-the-top events.

Peace on earth starts with you. With planning, low expectations and an understanding of what your family really needs, you can have a Holly Jolly Christmas that everyone can enjoy.

And then, you can make that homemade toy for Valentine’s Day! 

advent conspiracy: the book

By Karen Brown

Image from Amazon

REUNION has been participating in Advent Conspiracy for three years now. Our community has been transformed by this movement - challenged, inspired and forever changed. We are trying to be intentional about keeping Christmas what it should be, a celebration of Jesus’ birth. We are embracing the concepts of worshipping fully, spending less, giving more and loving all. 

I recently read the book, Advent Conspiracy by Rick McKinley, Chris Sea and Greg Holder. It was a quick read and good refresher as we head into the holiday season. I love the way the book unpacks how Christmas can still change the world. It lays out how we can redeem Christmas from the consumerism that has come to define the holiday. How we can choose to not participate in all the excess, an excess of food, gifts, overspending...all of it. How the most important gifts we can give are relational gifts and the gift of our presence. We have an inherent need to be with each other that is often fractured in our hurried and overscheduled lives. It talks in depth about loving the poor and the marginalized. That is how Jesus lived his life and He calls us to do the same.

This year we conspire to celebrate Advent year round. To wrestle with how our worship can permeate all seasons and how love and generosity can define us. When you think about it, it really is so simple. Simple acts with profound impact.

Will you conspire with us? How has Advent Conspiracy changed your family?

using an Advent Jesse Tree to Celebrate Jesus at christmas

By Katharine Grubb

photo from: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/

I’m a stressed out Mom at Christmas time. I often am tempted to overlook the importance of Jesus’ birth. And if I’m neglectful, then my children will miss something meaningful.

To add meaning to our holiday season, over the last few years, our family has created a Jesse Tree advent calendar. Not only do we count down the days until Christmas, but we also read and reflect on the history of mankind and the need of a savior.

The name Jesse Tree comes from a prophecy. In the Old Testament book of Isaiah, the prophet Isaiah tells the discouraged nation of Israel that they will have a future king who will be their salvation.

This is what the NIV says in Isaiah 11:
1 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; 
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD
3 and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

The idea of the Jesse Tree is that its a way to simply and concretely introduce the idea of Jesus’s birth as an Old Testament fulfillment. A Jesse Tree has 25 symbols, one for each day of the month. The first symbol is about Creation, the later symbols depict Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Isaac and all of the Old Testament pillars of faith, including Jesse, the father of King David, who is a direct ancestor of Jesus.

A Jesse Tree in your home can be a branch with a small ornament hanging from it, one for each day in the month of December. The ornaments depict the symbol of each one of the ancestors of Jesus and the forerunners of our faith.

At our house, we didn’t have room for an actual branch. Instead, we cut out 4”X4” squares of paper and drew a picture of the 25 symbols on each one. Then we taped the paper around a doorframe in our dining room. We’d read the passage associated with that day, and, as the month progressed, so did the artwork and the discussions about why Jesus came, how Christmas is about all of mankind, not just for December 25th. As our children have grown older, they’ve come to anticipate the Jesse Tree as an important element in our Christmas celebrations.

Links for more Jesse Tree ideas, artwork to print and scriptures to look up, try these links:
ERIErcd
A Holy Experience 
Jesse Tree
CRI Voice

I’ve found that there is a bit of inconsistency on these sites. This isn’t a major church doctrine, it’s just a fun tradition, so there is no right way to do it. Like everything you do in your family, choose how it can best fit your needs to add meaning to Christmas.

Gift Idea: The Coupon Book for Grandparents

By Katharine Grubb

My parents and in-laws do not need more junk. The don’t need more clothes, nor sweets, nor the latest gadget (although they have fallen in love with their iPad). What they need this holiday season is more quality time with my children. So for Christmas one year, I made them a holiday coupon book.

Fortunately, they are close enough for us to be together on a monthly basis. So I made a coupon book with twelve coupons, one for each month of the upcoming year. Each coupon was decorated with the foods we planned on eating and pictures of us enjoying our time together. This was pretty simple and nice for me, the non-scrapbook type of mom.

January: Eat beef stew and watch the Patriots in the playoffs.
February: Spaghetti and meatballs and Valentine’s celebration
March: Homemade pizza and board game time
April: Pack a picnic lunch and go to Drumlin Farm to see the baby animals
May: Pack a picnic and walk through Arnold Arboretum
June: Grammy’s birthday celebration!
July: A cookout and a trip to the zoo
August: Beach day picnic!
...You get the idea...

This was a huge hit. We made an extra effort to schedule the events, but we also walked in grace, so when Grampy was sick, we just picked it up the following month.

This was fun to make, fun to plan and fun to enjoy all year long. And we took lots of photos to make it even more special.

X-Out: Drought, Thirst, Disease

By Karen Brown

As a mom, I can’t imagine the devastation of losing a child. The heartbreak and despair would be almost unbearable. What if the loss of that child was totally preventable? What if all it took to save my baby were people willing to share a little from their excess with my family? So simple.

One child dies every 15 seconds due to a water-related disease. So much avoidable grief, family devastation, and loss. It is truly mind boggling. Sometimes we’re left wondering what we can possibly do to help. Wondering how we can make a difference in a place a half a world away.

This Christmas we have the opportunity to make Christ’s birth Good News for all. REUNION has partnered with Old Try to make Christmas cards that support the mission of transforming communities by digging clean water wells. Three dollars from the sale of each cards goes directly to Living Water. And that may be the coolest part. You aren’t just giving Christmas cards; you’re giving hope to those who may need it the most. You’re loving the thirsty in a way that changes lives.

You can buy your cards online here, or grab them in person at any REUNION gathering.

Clean water really is living water.

Photo courtesy of Living Water

thanksgiving garland

By Marianna Whitson

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food,

For love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cannot believe that it’s the week of Thanksgiving. Where did the year go? We were planning to have family up from the South to celebrate the day, but, as things sometimes go, those plans fell through. So instead, we are going to be giving thanks with some friends from our church community.

Boston is such a mix of people from all over the country and from even farther away; a mix of people who have always lived here, who plan to stay for a while, and who are just here for a year or two. It is inevitable that there will be many without family around them this week. So, extend an invitation for Thursday’s meal; share a post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich this weekend; or be especially thankful if you are able to be with your family. Because family isn’t just who you are related to by blood, but who you spend your days with, who you relate to and who you connect with in spirit.

To make things a little more festive for our gathering, I decided to make a Thanksgiving-esque garland. I first saw this idea on Design*Sponge, but altered it for Turkey Day. It took me about an hour to do 18 pom-poms. You can totally adjust the number and the spacing based on where you’re going to hang the garland and what floats your boat.

I chose six fall colors of felt – it was on sale in pre-cut rectangles, four for $1. I already had the kitchen twine (a nice natural color), embroidery thread, scissors and a needle. So, yes, this was done for under $2. So cheap!

I started by cutting my felt length-wise, some with three strips to a sheet, others with four to a sheet. I then folded the strips in half and cut fringe down each side, leaving about a quarter-inch in the center. I folded them in half because it made this part go much faster! I tried two different fringe widths, and ended up liking the thinner fringe better. But play around with it! There’s no right or wrong way to go, and nothing has to be exact.

Once the fringe is cut, roll the strips up. Once the strip is fully rolled, thread the needle and stick it through the center of the pom-pom, leaving a good length of thread behind. I then stuck the needle back into the same hole it originally went in through, wrapping the string around half way as I did that. Once the needle was through a second time, I used the string lengths from both ends to wrap around the pom-pom several times. I then tied the two ends together securely. Do not fluff the pom-poms yet! *Although the original post says to tie a knot in one end of the string and tie it onto the garland, I found that it was easier for me to do it this way.

Once all the pom-poms are tied off, cut off some twine – the length you need plus some extra. Tie the twine around a pom-pom – I just used a regular knot. You may have to twist the pom-poms around to get the knot to lay flat. Continue down the twine until it’s as full as you want it. Once all the pom-poms are on there, then you can fluff them, separating the fringe pieces and ‘encouraging’ them into a rounder shape.

tie them all UNFLUFFED first

then fluff!

Advent Conspiracy: For the Ladies in Your Life

By Emily McKenna

So, you are all excited about advent conspiracy. What now? Here are a few ideas of homemade gifts that are doable for almost any level of DIYer. Proof? I have made each of them and I am no expert. You can do it!

HEX NUT BRACELET 

Friendship bracelets made a strong come back this summer.  In case you've missed it, layering numerous friendship-style bracelets is where it's at.  This is a hex nut friendship style bracelet. If you can braid, you can make this.

Check out the original tutorial on this blog for the basics, which I tweaked a bit to make what you see above. Instead of a three-strand braid I used a fishtail braid.  When I got to the hex nut section I switched to a three-strand braid.  Also, taping the ends of the strings/ropes makes threading the hex nuts much less frustrating. 

CANVAS TOTE

This is the best beach bag I have ever used.  It's huge.  There are so many colors of canvas and patterns.  Oh, the options.  The best part, though, is how fast it was to make.  Here is a link to the tutorial I used. 

REVERSIBLE TOTE

I like this bag because it has an interesting shape and you get two bags in one.  Here is a link to the tutorial and free pattern I used. 

A few tips:

1. Make sure the pattern prints to the correct size.  Mine was a little smaller than it should have been, which I realized after I cut the fabric.

2. I added a few inches of length to the straps after reading the comments on the tutorial I used.

3. I added pockets to both sides of the bag.

RUFFLE KNIT SCARF

Love me some ruffles.  I saw this scarf and thought to myself, "Self.  Don't even think about it."  Something about knit scares the heck out of me.  With the scarf calling my mother-in-law's name for Christmas and a craft night to boost my confidence, I tackled the scarf. Everyone in the room was surprised at how easy and quickly the ruffling went. If skills were bucks you would get a lot of bang for your buck with this handmade gift.  The embellishments took a little time but they really add to the ruffles.  I will be making one for myself.

Here is the link to the scarf tutorial.  A little warning: this specific scarf is a combination of three blogposts on the site.  She links to all of them but it's not all in a nice little package like other tutorials.  This scarf is totally worth the extra clicking, though. 

TRAVEL BAG

I made this travel bag for my friend’s birthday.  I was pretty intimidated when I set out to make it. (Zipper! Boxed shape! Lining!) It is surprisingly easy and quick.  It’s for an ambitious beginner sewer and up.  Here is the tutorial. 

Here is a short list of other awesome gifts for ladies that I are still on my to do list:

Braided Scarf 

Wrap Bracelet  
Braided Layered Scarf

Turban Twisted Headband

Christmas, Advent Conspiracy Style

By Karen Brown

If you are like me, every year the holidays manage to sneak up on you. Despite my best intentions, I end up a little frantic trying to get it all done - whatever the elusive “it” and “done” are! I vow to start earlier next season and have fun with the shopping and making of gifts so they really are things I get to do and not things I dread.

I am already getting messages in my inbox and hearing ads on the radio for pre-Black Friday sales and specials. When I start to hear those, it almost feels like the starting gun of a race that I am not quite prepared to run – as if, in my head, the race starts on Black Friday, but then they change the start time on me. This year I am going to embrace Christmas even though it’s not yet Thanksgiving; I am going to begin to at least think intentionally about how we celebrate and the ways we give.

One of the things our family hopes to do each year is it participate more fully in Advent Conspiracy. It just makes sense to us to strive as a family and church body to worship fully, spend less, give more and love all.

Starting next week, Life After Sunday will be highlighting ways to celebrate Christmas, Advent Conspiracy style. Everything from shopping Fair Trade, to homemade gift ideas, organizations that promote social justice for the oppressed and new family traditions honoring the birth of our Savior. We want to continue to be inspired by the ideas of those around us. We would love to hear from you! If you are interested in guest posting during this series, please send us your thoughts and ideas. I’m excited to collaborate as we together redeem Christmas as Good News for all!

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission

I am thrilled to introduce my friend Janet to you today. I have known Janet for well over a decade, both as a ministry partner at Community Christian, and as a friend. (She is one of those women I just wanted to hang out with and soak up wisdom from long before I was married or had kids of my own.) She is an amazing mother and wife and has a huge heart for her family and for Jesus. Her perspective is one of grace, truth and humility. It is a priviledge to call her friend!

-Karen

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission 

By Janet McMahon 

A look of disappointment, frustration and surprise came over his face. Tears were his immediate response. We had just told our 13-year-old son that we were leaving the only town he had ever known, to move to another city. The days and weeks that followed this conversation were full of questions, not just by our 13 year old, but all three of our children. “Why, when, how and are you sure?” At the time we were considering this move, our kids were 16, 13, and seven. Moving kids in high school and middle school seemed less than ideal

No doubt my three kids are the number one calling of my life. To raise them to be responsible Christ followers who are finding their purpose and living fully committed to the Jesus mission, that would be my dream come true. So when the direction God seemed to be giving us made my kids unhappy, certainly I felt conflicted at my best and confused and sometimes angry at my worst. “Why would God clearly call me and my husband to move to a new city if it would make my children sad?”

As the weeks and months passed, it became increasingly clear that God was clearly directing us to move and to say “no” felt almost disobedient. What was so clear to my husband Troy and I felt like a slap in the face---to our middle son in particular. What were we to do?

I prayed, big time, probably more then I had ever prayed in my life. And as I prayed, I consulted friends, books, and others who had made these types of choices before. Over time, I began to stand on this ultimate truth: If God was clearly asking Troy and I to move to a new city, it was not only the best thing for us, but it would be the best thing for our kids. We may not know why this move is good for our kids, we may never know, but the fact remains that God’s plans for us are for our benefit. Jeremiah says it this way: “For I know the plans I have for you.” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 

So, in spite of our children’s reservations, we decided to jump in fully and lead our children strongly through the process.

There were a lot of things along the way that helped our kids join the journey, but the following three things stick out to me as being a significant part of helping our kids not only accept the plan that God had laid out, but perhaps even grow in their faith as a result. These things were: responsibility, relationship and repetition.

We gave our kids responsibility for some of the decisions. We picked the area we were going to move to and we asked them to pick the school. There were two high schools in the district. We set up meetings at each school and we went as a whole family to visit. They had to pick which high school of the two they wanted to attend. They all agreed on one of the two high schools, and so we narrowed our house search to the boundaries of that high school. We didn’t know this at the time, but not only did they pick the high school they would attend, but that high school is the space where our new church would be meeting.

We also told our kids that if God asked us to move to a new city, then He had something in mind for each of them to do. They each had to pick a responsibility at Church. Once they identified their responsibility, they had to carry it out; everyone in the family was required to contribute in an area of their choosing. Our oldest son played the keyboard in the worship band, our middle son ran the sound board for our kids’ large group worship time, our youngest daughter learned the kids worship songs and began over time to lead the kids worship time. In church, our kids were not required to do everything, just one thing. One area of serving is a requirement, any more than that was a choice.

Although responsibility and serving was not a choice, that does not mean that they couldn’t share their feelings, their grief, their sadness and their frustration about all that they were going through. I believe that feelings are worth sharing, and feelings cannot be right or wrong. So this is where the relationship came in.

We chose to work on our relationship with our kids by giving them meaningful conversation everyday, peppered with a lot of questions, often to their frustration. There were days when I knew my kids were grieving the loss of “home.” I went in their room and made them talk to me. At times they were hiding their heads under a pillow, grunting and pushing me away, but I waited. I said things like, “I know you hurt, and if you don’t get it out by talking, it will come out in other ways, and those other ways suck! So talk!” Eventually, not every time, they talked, and cried. I cried many tears that first year with my children as we all openly grieved the loss of “home.”

Then there was the repetition. I found myself repeating two things in order to continue to confidently lead my kids in the direction of the mission God had called us to. The first thing I said over and over to the kids and to myself was, “sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.” They didn’t always like that saying, but have come to recognize it as true. The second thing I repeated, mostly in my own head was, “this is not about their happiness, but their holiness.” God is not as interested in my kids being happy as He is in them being holy. And sometimes we must forego what makes us temporarily happy in order to pursue a life of holiness and obedience to God’s calling.

I believe that being parents who put following God as a number one priority in our lives---even when to do so causes temporary unhappiness to our children---is the greatest gift we can give our children. Our children Jake, now 21, Mitch now 18, and Judiann, now 12, have adjusted quite well. Jake is a junior in college pursuing a career in ministry. The other two are home and still serving at the local church (sometimes even by choice). Just last night I asked our middle son, “do you think our family is where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing?” He smiled, made a joke as he always does, and then said in all seriousness, “yes.”

Janet McMahon graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in social work. After working in mental health and adoption, Janet joined the staff of Community Christian Church in Naperville, IL in 1995 where she worked in Children’s Ministry, Support and Recovery and Small Groups. In 2007, Janet relocated to Kansas City where she helped start Restore Community Church. Janet is currently the Community Life Director at Restore providing vision and direction for small groups. Janet and her husband Troy have three children, Jake (21), Mitch (18) and Judiann (12).

Freezer Meals: Save your Wallet and Your Sanity

By Melissa Nicholson

Have you heard of freezer cooking? It’s a great way for moms to save time, money, and their sanity. Freezer cooking just means cooking meals ahead of time and freezing them so it’s easy to defrost, cook, and serve later. Variations can include cooking once a month, batch cooking, or cooking parts of meals. The benefits include always having a home cooked meal on hand so you can avoid the “It’s 5:00, what are we going to have for supper?” fiasco! It also saves money by purchasing groceries in bulk, and you end up wasting less food. You will also end up eating out less often. You will have a more peaceful dinner hour because most of the work has been done already, including most of the dishes (major bonus)! It saves a lot of time and energy in the long run.

Photo Credit: SouthernLiving

Step one is to Plan it! You can choose to make a bunch of the same meal at one time to freeze or do 30 meals for the month, it’s up to you. Think about what is on sale? Stock up on meats throughout the month when they go on sale and choose the meal based on what you have on hand. Also think about what season it is: in the summer you will probably want to stock up meats with marinades for the grill or lighter meals and the winter is lots of soups and slow cooker meals. Think about things that freeze well too. Sour cream separates and don’t freeze whole potatoes. I also try to think of people that I would be bringing a meal to in the next month such as those who have just had babies and sick families at church). Once you have your meal plan together then you need to make your grocery list. You may need to shop at multiple stores to take advantage of the different sales. Write out every ingredient with its quantity and then go through the cupboards to see what is in hand. It’s important to write the quantity to add up because when you do multiple meals it’s easy to lose track of, for example, how many eggs you will need and just assume you will have enough. It’s really annoying to have to run to the store in the middle of a cooking day. When you have your list together, rewrite it in the order that you will find the items in the store. Remember to add things like gallon- and quart-size freezer bags and tin foil pans and pie plates if you will be giving the meals away or don’t have enough containers to store them in your freezer. It’s a great idea to go garage sale shopping to stock up on Tupperware so you’re not always buying disposable tins. Clean out and organize your fridge and freezer before you go shopping so you have room to put it all away when you get home from the store.

Step two is to Prep it! Do as much of the prep work as possible the day before your cooking day. Good things to get done the day before include: browning all the hamburger, cooking the chicken and dicing it up, chopping things that can be chopped in advance (green peppers, carrots, etc.) Onions are a good thing to chop on the day you put your meals together, though. Clear your counters of everything you can. Pull out the ingredients that don’t need to be refrigerated and place like items together. Set up an area for canned/boxed food, freezer bags and permanent marker for labeling, and an area for putting the meals together. Put the spices out in the area you put the meals together for easier access. Pull out every mixing bowl you own---you will be using and washing them multiple times. Decide on the order you will be putting the meals together. Put all the chicken dishes together in a row then all the hamburger meals, etc. Put a star by the items that will be needed for the meals, but that are not added yet (ex. Pasta that you will cook right before you have the meal) and put them away in your cupboard. This way you will not use it for something else and not have what you need the day you finish the meal.

Step three is cooking day! Get a babysitter or have Dad take the kids AWAY from your house for the day. Don’t try to attempt to make 30 meals with your children around. Wear good shoes; your feet and back will thank you! (I sound like your mother.) Start early; this will take the entire day. Put the meals together. Stop every couple of hours to clean up and wash dishes and have a cup of coffee. Have fun with it! Put on some of your favorite Christian music or enjoy the sound of silence. Don’t expect to feed your family on this day; you have enough work to do!

Other helpful hints: Many meals will require defrosting, so remember to pull out meals at least a day in advance and put in fridge. Double bag things because sometimes the bag will split open as it expands with freezing. Make between 25-30 recipes if you are going for a whole day of making meals. Exceeding 30 is almost impossible and you don’t want the food to go bad before you eat it. When making 30 recipes it usually makes about 45 meals because many of them you will split or double to make a few of the same meal. This will get you through about 2 months because there will be left overs you will eat occasionally and sometimes you will have meals out of the house for one reason or another. A good place to start is buying a book that is devoted to freezer meals but once you get better at it you can use your own recipes that you enjoy. Two great books are Once a Month Cooking by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg and The Freezer Cooking Manual by Nanci Slagle.

You could make this more fun by getting together with friends to prepare meals or by forming a cooking co-op. (Example: 10 people form a group and each make 10 of the same meal, get together and trade meals every month). My 5 old college roommates and I do this every so often and it’s a lot of fun.

Remind yourself that this is a service of love for your family! A great verse to meditate on:  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3.