New mom Katie had a great idea. With the holidays quickly approaching, she thought she could host her annual baklava-making party. She hadn’t hosted a party in years. Not since before she got pregnant.
She decorated the house, organized the ingredients and invited her husband’s sisters and sisters-in-law, (specifically the ones who might be the most impressed with Katie’s domestic, culinary and creative skills.)
But Katie’s plans didn’t go so smoothly. Her plans to carry her nine-month-old son, Ian, backfired. He cried, fussed, spit up and demanded to be nursed. So she couldn’t hear herself give instructions to her guests.
At one point she just thought, “Why bother?”
This was a lot of trouble.
Yet, the baklava turned out fine, the conversation was lively and her family had a good time anyway.
As she cleaned up the mess after the guests had left, she was satisfied. She made a way for her hobbies and passions to return to he, even if it was just for an afternoon.
Katie, like all other mothers, had her hands full of responsibility, and no one would argue its priority. But I would like to suggest that we look at our days, our weeks and our months and carve out a few moments to play in our passions. We can make a way to do the things we love.
How do we find the time?
She decorated the house, organized the ingredients and invited her husband’s sisters and sisters-in-law, (specifically the ones who might be the most impressed with Katie’s domestic, culinary and creative skills.)
But Katie’s plans didn’t go so smoothly. Her plans to carry her nine-month-old son, Ian, backfired. He cried, fussed, spit up and demanded to be nursed. So she couldn’t hear herself give instructions to her guests.
At one point she just thought, “Why bother?”
This was a lot of trouble.
Yet, the baklava turned out fine, the conversation was lively and her family had a good time anyway.
As she cleaned up the mess after the guests had left, she was satisfied. She made a way for her hobbies and passions to return to he, even if it was just for an afternoon.
Katie, like all other mothers, had her hands full of responsibility, and no one would argue its priority. But I would like to suggest that we look at our days, our weeks and our months and carve out a few moments to play in our passions. We can make a way to do the things we love.
How do we find the time?
1. Turn off the TV. Say no to the shows that you wouldn’t even miss if they got cancelled. TIVO your favorites so that you can watch them another time. Wouldn’t it be terrible to get to the end of your life and discover you had never written that novel? And sadder still would be realizing that you saw every episode of UGLY BETTY instead!
2. Get up a little earlier. Yeah, I know, mothers aren’t getting a whole lot of sleep as it is, but by getting up a half hour earlier, you could get a head start on your day. Think of it - you could be fully showered and dressed, have written a few lines of your poem, run a couple of miles, or had time alone with God.
3. Set your timer. We’ll never run out of dishes to wash or laundry to do, so why not have everything take their turn? Set a timer for 10 minutes, carry it around the house if you need to, do the half-tos first, then spend 10 minutes on yourself: work on that sonnet or sketch the tree outside your kitchen window.
4. Take Advantage of Waiting. Do you have to wait for soccer practice to be over? Do you spend a lot of time in doctor’s waiting rooms? Pack appropriate stuff to do - read that novel (instead of People), memorize that poem (just don’t say it out loud) or finish the cross stitch (it will be done in no time).
5. Stay Organized. Disorder steals precious time away from our passions. If we spend all morning looking for Junior’s sneakers, instead of puttering in the garden, our frustration will only grow. Take the extra step to put things away, keep a schedule and eliminate distractions.
6. Communicate with your family. Can your husband or mom cover for you for an hour or so a week so you can take that dance class? How about your children, can they help? There’s nothing wrong with explaining to them that you want “play time” too. Make an agreement: if you get 20 minutes alone, then you can have 30 minutes doing something fun together. (Just remember to keep your word.)
7. Trade with a friend. You want to join the book club at the library on Monday nights. Your girlfriend wants to get to the gym on Thursday nights. Trade childcare around your interests, that way everybody gets a chance to do what they love.
8. Rethink Meals. You have to eat everyday, right? Can you plan, in advance, all your shopping and cooking? The less time you spend at the grocery store, the more time you can spend on yourself. Additionally, put those appliances to work! A little time along with your crock pot and bread machine in the morning can free you up later in the afternoon.
9. Delegate household responsibilities. Start giving kids simple things to do at about four-and-a-half-years-old, gradually adding more as they get older. If you can delegate setting the table, clearing the table, washing the high chair and sweeping the floor, you’ve already added ten minutes to your day to do what you want. Of course, you must gently teach them how to do it and reward them for a job well done. If you have to wait for the work to be done to play, so do they. (It also won’t kill them to earn their TV, DVD, or computer time.)
10. Pray about your daily schedule. Perhaps there are blind spots in your life or your household management that need a bigger nudge. Maybe you’re overscheduled and need to cut back for everyone’s sanity. Maybe by changing a bad habit, you could replace it with a good one. No one knows your life better than the God who made you and filled it with blessings. Ask him what He thinks; you might be surprised by the answer.
We may have a tendency to believe that we’ll get back to our old selves, our old passions and our old hobbies once the children are in a different place from where they are now (which might mean in school, out of school, in their own bedroom, or out of the house). But I believe that those passions need not wait. We certainly can’t do them full-time, but we can work on them a little bit.
We fill our time with what we most desire. We all get the same 24 hours a day. If we worked at our passions 30 minutes a day, that’s three-and-a-half hours a week, 14+ hours a month, 168 hours a year. Every little bit adds up.
Like Katie’s little disaster, it might not be perfect, it might even be messy, but let’s take the chance and at least try.
I believe we’ll all be the happier for it.
2. Get up a little earlier. Yeah, I know, mothers aren’t getting a whole lot of sleep as it is, but by getting up a half hour earlier, you could get a head start on your day. Think of it - you could be fully showered and dressed, have written a few lines of your poem, run a couple of miles, or had time alone with God.
3. Set your timer. We’ll never run out of dishes to wash or laundry to do, so why not have everything take their turn? Set a timer for 10 minutes, carry it around the house if you need to, do the half-tos first, then spend 10 minutes on yourself: work on that sonnet or sketch the tree outside your kitchen window.
4. Take Advantage of Waiting. Do you have to wait for soccer practice to be over? Do you spend a lot of time in doctor’s waiting rooms? Pack appropriate stuff to do - read that novel (instead of People), memorize that poem (just don’t say it out loud) or finish the cross stitch (it will be done in no time).
5. Stay Organized. Disorder steals precious time away from our passions. If we spend all morning looking for Junior’s sneakers, instead of puttering in the garden, our frustration will only grow. Take the extra step to put things away, keep a schedule and eliminate distractions.
6. Communicate with your family. Can your husband or mom cover for you for an hour or so a week so you can take that dance class? How about your children, can they help? There’s nothing wrong with explaining to them that you want “play time” too. Make an agreement: if you get 20 minutes alone, then you can have 30 minutes doing something fun together. (Just remember to keep your word.)
7. Trade with a friend. You want to join the book club at the library on Monday nights. Your girlfriend wants to get to the gym on Thursday nights. Trade childcare around your interests, that way everybody gets a chance to do what they love.
8. Rethink Meals. You have to eat everyday, right? Can you plan, in advance, all your shopping and cooking? The less time you spend at the grocery store, the more time you can spend on yourself. Additionally, put those appliances to work! A little time along with your crock pot and bread machine in the morning can free you up later in the afternoon.
9. Delegate household responsibilities. Start giving kids simple things to do at about four-and-a-half-years-old, gradually adding more as they get older. If you can delegate setting the table, clearing the table, washing the high chair and sweeping the floor, you’ve already added ten minutes to your day to do what you want. Of course, you must gently teach them how to do it and reward them for a job well done. If you have to wait for the work to be done to play, so do they. (It also won’t kill them to earn their TV, DVD, or computer time.)
10. Pray about your daily schedule. Perhaps there are blind spots in your life or your household management that need a bigger nudge. Maybe you’re overscheduled and need to cut back for everyone’s sanity. Maybe by changing a bad habit, you could replace it with a good one. No one knows your life better than the God who made you and filled it with blessings. Ask him what He thinks; you might be surprised by the answer.
We may have a tendency to believe that we’ll get back to our old selves, our old passions and our old hobbies once the children are in a different place from where they are now (which might mean in school, out of school, in their own bedroom, or out of the house). But I believe that those passions need not wait. We certainly can’t do them full-time, but we can work on them a little bit.
We fill our time with what we most desire. We all get the same 24 hours a day. If we worked at our passions 30 minutes a day, that’s three-and-a-half hours a week, 14+ hours a month, 168 hours a year. Every little bit adds up.
Like Katie’s little disaster, it might not be perfect, it might even be messy, but let’s take the chance and at least try.
I believe we’ll all be the happier for it.
