Preparing Your Daughters for Dating

By Hank Wilson

Just writing that title makes me nauseous as a father. The fact of the matter is, I'll always be nauseous when it comes to my little girls dating. The real issue is, will they be ready?

I don't actually remember the first time I heard the term "Daddy Daughter Date." I just remember liking the idea from the beginning because:

1. I wanted each of my girls to know how loved and beautiful they are in the eyes of their Dad (and in the eyes of their Heavenly Dad too).
2. I wanted each of my girls to know how a young man should treat them on dates in the future.



So I’ve done these daddy daughter dates with my girls since they were little. We go out for pizza, watch a movie, go to a coffee shop to do puzzles or games, take a walk, or sit at a park. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. We make it one-on-one time, we do things they want to do, and we spend a lot of time talking and getting to know one another.

I want my girls to have a healthy amount of connection, attention, and affection from their Dad. If they don't get it from me, I think studies and pastoral experiences indicate they may go looking for it elsewhere. In a book called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, author Meg Meeker says:

Daughters who perceive that their fathers care a lot about them, who feel connected with their fathers, have significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance use and unhealthy weight. 

A daughter's self-esteem is best predicted by her father's physical affection.  

Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention. 

Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.

Love your daughters well, Dads. In my experience, a daddy daughter date is a great way of showing how much your little girl means to you.

“Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?” Psalm 127:3 TM

Becoming Fire Smart

By Karen Brown

I have a confession to make. We have an evacuation ladder in our second floor bedroom closet that I have never taken out of the box, much less made sure it actually works. I have fire extinguishers on every floor, but I have never read the instructions. If I ever had to try and operate one in a hurry or in the dark, I’m not sure I could pull it off. And we have smoke detectors all over the place. Do I check to make sure they are functioning? Not very often (unless they are beeping at me for new batteries). In fact, on occasion I have even disconnected the one in the kitchen because it is so irritating. I know, pretty bad, huh?

October 1st is National Family Fire Drill Day. I am determined to come up with an evacuation plan and share it with the kids. I will read the instructions on working the fire extinguisher and may even check the batteries in the detectors, and not just when I’m prompted by their annoying beep. Maybe we’ll practice some crawling through smoke and some “stop, drop and rolls.” We should probably try out that evacuation ladder as well, just for kicks.

It is my obligation and privilege as a parent to keep my kids and family safe. I know this. I am certain I would find it hard to forgive myself if something happened to my children as a result of poor planning on the part of me and my husband. My prayer is that a house fire is something neither my family nor yours will ever experience, but I must be prepared regardless.

For more details on creating a fire plan, check out www.befiresmart.com.

What does your family’s fire and evacuation plan include? Want to join me in creating one?

Favorite Bibles for Kids

By Karen Brown

My two oldest kids may have finally graduated from baby Bibles to something with actual chapters and verses. I thought it would be an easy task to simply grab them a new Bible from the bookstore, but the selection is a bit daunting. After asking some other parents and doing a little research, here’s a short list of favorites.

For Infants & Toddlers

This is a really sweet Bible that covers some of the more popular stories. The stories rhyme (hence the name) and the kids really enjoy listening to it. The illustrations are really nice and pretty to look at. This Bible makes a great gift.

For Preschoolers

This Bible is great because it covers a wide range of stories from both the Old and New Testaments. The stories are typically a couple short pages long and are written with age-appropriate language and discretion. All the pages have colorful illustration.

For Young Readers 

I asked my daughter what she loves about this Bible and she mentioned that she really likes to read the introductions of the books that talk about who wrote it and what was happening during those Bible times. She is often sharing “did you know?” facts that I don’t even know. It is just a really fun Bible.


At what age did you first buy your child a Bible? What are some of your family favorites?

meet: tim & stephanie hawkins

By Tim and Stephanie Hawkins & Karen Brown

I am honored to have a guest post today by Tim & Stephanie Hawkins.  Tim and Stephanie moved to Boston 6 years to start Sojourn Collegiate Ministry the same time our family moved here to launch REUNION.  We have had the priviledge of watching them parent their 4 kids as well as nurture and disciple dozens and dozens of students...both young children and young adults.  Tim is the Director of Sojourn Collegiate Ministry and Stephanie is a preschool teacher at Park Street Kids in downtown Boston.  Tim and Stephanie are one of those couples that you just want to sit down with over coffee and pick their brains about their philosphy on parenting and child rearing.  I asked them recently to give us some insight on what shapes their parenting style and some "best practices" that have worked in their family.

We do not compromise our values when we say that the child is more important than his conduct. Rather we affirm them at their deepest level. We dig down to bedrock and declare what is true. - Hold On To Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate

We were 25 when our first child was born and, over the following six years, we added three more to the clan.  We did not start out with a particular philosophy or guiding vision of raising our kids except the constant prayer, “God, please keep us from screwing this up.”  

It is still our prayer.  And confession.

Though we wouldn’t have defined our parenting philosophy this way, it is a particular phrase in Neufeld and Mate’s book, Hold On to Your Kids, that has helped articulate what we value as a family: 

To compensate for the cultural chaos of our times, we need to make a habit of collecting our children daily and repeatedly until they are old enough to function as independent beings.

We have come to realize that much of what we value as parents are rhythms and practices that help us collect our kids.  And these are a reminder to dig beyond conduct, and affirm them at their deepest level, which for us is how God is shaping them for His Kingdom mission.

These are our favorite collecting places:

Books –Books give us a common language to talk about redemptive themes and the Kingdom of God.  We read a wide variety of books that broaden our perspective on the world and what God is doing in it.  Most recently we have been reading, Same Kind of Different as Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

Allowance - We give our kids allowance every two weeks and let them spend it any way they want (as long as it’s legal), including planning ahead for gifts.  Beyond lessons about responsibility, allowance gives us a chance to talk about values and choices.  Our kids have become great gift givers to one another. 

Hospitality – Involving our kids in the preparations and responsibilities for hosting gives them more joy in the relationships they are building.

Travel – Mostly this is about having shared memories and stories to tell.  “Remember when we…”  

Prayer – Not just in the act of praying, but also talking (even just one-on-one) about how God is forming us as individuals through our prayer.  It also allows prayer to bring God into the everyday, as we encounter disappointment, fear, worry, sadness, joy. Prayer is not just a matter of asking God for things, but models formation.  

Storytelling – This happens daily in some way through something as simple as, “So do you want to know what happened to me today?”  Over the years the stories have gotten more entertaining.  Shared laughter strengthens the family bond (it’s the inside joke phenomenon). 

Traditions – Although many of our traditions are associated with holidays, some are as simple as Ebelskiver Saturdays or watching a specific TV show together.  Our traditions are the hands-on application of our family values.

Eating Out – We don’t do this everyday, but about once a week we break from the norm, free ourselves from the preparation and cleaning-up, to have significant time at the table together with nowhere to go and nothing to keep us busy except talking to one another.

Debriefing – Maybe one of the best pieces of advice we received from parents we respected was to, “Debrief everyday.”  When we’re going 6 different directions during the day, it’s important to come re-center at the end of the day.

Thank you Tim & Stephanie for sharing your wisdom and insight!  Parenting is the hardest job there is and you do it with such thoughtfulness,  patience, and grace.

family rules

By Karen Brown

I came across this awesome, amazing, totally adorable “Family Rules” poster via the blog Whatever. I may have squealed in delight, I love it that much.

from Alexander Creative

Of course, the ones Ryan Alexander has in his shop have beautiful sayings that really ring true. But, you can also customize one for your own family with your own rules or family mission statement or whatever you like. I may have to revisit the book Three Big Questions for Frantic Families and get our family mission statement on paper just so I can have one of these made. It's a book I highly recommend...review coming soon.

He also has artwork for marriage and kids and just some other cool sayings like this “What Defines Us” subway art print. These would make great gifts.

from Alexander Creative

And if you head over to Whatever, she has a giveaway for a free print. Love me a good giveaway!

Do you have a family mission statement? What does it include?