Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission

I am thrilled to introduce my friend Janet to you today. I have known Janet for well over a decade, both as a ministry partner at Community Christian, and as a friend. (She is one of those women I just wanted to hang out with and soak up wisdom from long before I was married or had kids of my own.) She is an amazing mother and wife and has a huge heart for her family and for Jesus. Her perspective is one of grace, truth and humility. It is a priviledge to call her friend!

-Karen

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission 

By Janet McMahon 

A look of disappointment, frustration and surprise came over his face. Tears were his immediate response. We had just told our 13-year-old son that we were leaving the only town he had ever known, to move to another city. The days and weeks that followed this conversation were full of questions, not just by our 13 year old, but all three of our children. “Why, when, how and are you sure?” At the time we were considering this move, our kids were 16, 13, and seven. Moving kids in high school and middle school seemed less than ideal

No doubt my three kids are the number one calling of my life. To raise them to be responsible Christ followers who are finding their purpose and living fully committed to the Jesus mission, that would be my dream come true. So when the direction God seemed to be giving us made my kids unhappy, certainly I felt conflicted at my best and confused and sometimes angry at my worst. “Why would God clearly call me and my husband to move to a new city if it would make my children sad?”

As the weeks and months passed, it became increasingly clear that God was clearly directing us to move and to say “no” felt almost disobedient. What was so clear to my husband Troy and I felt like a slap in the face---to our middle son in particular. What were we to do?

I prayed, big time, probably more then I had ever prayed in my life. And as I prayed, I consulted friends, books, and others who had made these types of choices before. Over time, I began to stand on this ultimate truth: If God was clearly asking Troy and I to move to a new city, it was not only the best thing for us, but it would be the best thing for our kids. We may not know why this move is good for our kids, we may never know, but the fact remains that God’s plans for us are for our benefit. Jeremiah says it this way: “For I know the plans I have for you.” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 

So, in spite of our children’s reservations, we decided to jump in fully and lead our children strongly through the process.

There were a lot of things along the way that helped our kids join the journey, but the following three things stick out to me as being a significant part of helping our kids not only accept the plan that God had laid out, but perhaps even grow in their faith as a result. These things were: responsibility, relationship and repetition.

We gave our kids responsibility for some of the decisions. We picked the area we were going to move to and we asked them to pick the school. There were two high schools in the district. We set up meetings at each school and we went as a whole family to visit. They had to pick which high school of the two they wanted to attend. They all agreed on one of the two high schools, and so we narrowed our house search to the boundaries of that high school. We didn’t know this at the time, but not only did they pick the high school they would attend, but that high school is the space where our new church would be meeting.

We also told our kids that if God asked us to move to a new city, then He had something in mind for each of them to do. They each had to pick a responsibility at Church. Once they identified their responsibility, they had to carry it out; everyone in the family was required to contribute in an area of their choosing. Our oldest son played the keyboard in the worship band, our middle son ran the sound board for our kids’ large group worship time, our youngest daughter learned the kids worship songs and began over time to lead the kids worship time. In church, our kids were not required to do everything, just one thing. One area of serving is a requirement, any more than that was a choice.

Although responsibility and serving was not a choice, that does not mean that they couldn’t share their feelings, their grief, their sadness and their frustration about all that they were going through. I believe that feelings are worth sharing, and feelings cannot be right or wrong. So this is where the relationship came in.

We chose to work on our relationship with our kids by giving them meaningful conversation everyday, peppered with a lot of questions, often to their frustration. There were days when I knew my kids were grieving the loss of “home.” I went in their room and made them talk to me. At times they were hiding their heads under a pillow, grunting and pushing me away, but I waited. I said things like, “I know you hurt, and if you don’t get it out by talking, it will come out in other ways, and those other ways suck! So talk!” Eventually, not every time, they talked, and cried. I cried many tears that first year with my children as we all openly grieved the loss of “home.”

Then there was the repetition. I found myself repeating two things in order to continue to confidently lead my kids in the direction of the mission God had called us to. The first thing I said over and over to the kids and to myself was, “sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.” They didn’t always like that saying, but have come to recognize it as true. The second thing I repeated, mostly in my own head was, “this is not about their happiness, but their holiness.” God is not as interested in my kids being happy as He is in them being holy. And sometimes we must forego what makes us temporarily happy in order to pursue a life of holiness and obedience to God’s calling.

I believe that being parents who put following God as a number one priority in our lives---even when to do so causes temporary unhappiness to our children---is the greatest gift we can give our children. Our children Jake, now 21, Mitch now 18, and Judiann, now 12, have adjusted quite well. Jake is a junior in college pursuing a career in ministry. The other two are home and still serving at the local church (sometimes even by choice). Just last night I asked our middle son, “do you think our family is where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing?” He smiled, made a joke as he always does, and then said in all seriousness, “yes.”

Janet McMahon graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in social work. After working in mental health and adoption, Janet joined the staff of Community Christian Church in Naperville, IL in 1995 where she worked in Children’s Ministry, Support and Recovery and Small Groups. In 2007, Janet relocated to Kansas City where she helped start Restore Community Church. Janet is currently the Community Life Director at Restore providing vision and direction for small groups. Janet and her husband Troy have three children, Jake (21), Mitch (18) and Judiann (12).

Freezer Meals: Save your Wallet and Your Sanity

By Melissa Nicholson

Have you heard of freezer cooking? It’s a great way for moms to save time, money, and their sanity. Freezer cooking just means cooking meals ahead of time and freezing them so it’s easy to defrost, cook, and serve later. Variations can include cooking once a month, batch cooking, or cooking parts of meals. The benefits include always having a home cooked meal on hand so you can avoid the “It’s 5:00, what are we going to have for supper?” fiasco! It also saves money by purchasing groceries in bulk, and you end up wasting less food. You will also end up eating out less often. You will have a more peaceful dinner hour because most of the work has been done already, including most of the dishes (major bonus)! It saves a lot of time and energy in the long run.

Photo Credit: SouthernLiving

Step one is to Plan it! You can choose to make a bunch of the same meal at one time to freeze or do 30 meals for the month, it’s up to you. Think about what is on sale? Stock up on meats throughout the month when they go on sale and choose the meal based on what you have on hand. Also think about what season it is: in the summer you will probably want to stock up meats with marinades for the grill or lighter meals and the winter is lots of soups and slow cooker meals. Think about things that freeze well too. Sour cream separates and don’t freeze whole potatoes. I also try to think of people that I would be bringing a meal to in the next month such as those who have just had babies and sick families at church). Once you have your meal plan together then you need to make your grocery list. You may need to shop at multiple stores to take advantage of the different sales. Write out every ingredient with its quantity and then go through the cupboards to see what is in hand. It’s important to write the quantity to add up because when you do multiple meals it’s easy to lose track of, for example, how many eggs you will need and just assume you will have enough. It’s really annoying to have to run to the store in the middle of a cooking day. When you have your list together, rewrite it in the order that you will find the items in the store. Remember to add things like gallon- and quart-size freezer bags and tin foil pans and pie plates if you will be giving the meals away or don’t have enough containers to store them in your freezer. It’s a great idea to go garage sale shopping to stock up on Tupperware so you’re not always buying disposable tins. Clean out and organize your fridge and freezer before you go shopping so you have room to put it all away when you get home from the store.

Step two is to Prep it! Do as much of the prep work as possible the day before your cooking day. Good things to get done the day before include: browning all the hamburger, cooking the chicken and dicing it up, chopping things that can be chopped in advance (green peppers, carrots, etc.) Onions are a good thing to chop on the day you put your meals together, though. Clear your counters of everything you can. Pull out the ingredients that don’t need to be refrigerated and place like items together. Set up an area for canned/boxed food, freezer bags and permanent marker for labeling, and an area for putting the meals together. Put the spices out in the area you put the meals together for easier access. Pull out every mixing bowl you own---you will be using and washing them multiple times. Decide on the order you will be putting the meals together. Put all the chicken dishes together in a row then all the hamburger meals, etc. Put a star by the items that will be needed for the meals, but that are not added yet (ex. Pasta that you will cook right before you have the meal) and put them away in your cupboard. This way you will not use it for something else and not have what you need the day you finish the meal.

Step three is cooking day! Get a babysitter or have Dad take the kids AWAY from your house for the day. Don’t try to attempt to make 30 meals with your children around. Wear good shoes; your feet and back will thank you! (I sound like your mother.) Start early; this will take the entire day. Put the meals together. Stop every couple of hours to clean up and wash dishes and have a cup of coffee. Have fun with it! Put on some of your favorite Christian music or enjoy the sound of silence. Don’t expect to feed your family on this day; you have enough work to do!

Other helpful hints: Many meals will require defrosting, so remember to pull out meals at least a day in advance and put in fridge. Double bag things because sometimes the bag will split open as it expands with freezing. Make between 25-30 recipes if you are going for a whole day of making meals. Exceeding 30 is almost impossible and you don’t want the food to go bad before you eat it. When making 30 recipes it usually makes about 45 meals because many of them you will split or double to make a few of the same meal. This will get you through about 2 months because there will be left overs you will eat occasionally and sometimes you will have meals out of the house for one reason or another. A good place to start is buying a book that is devoted to freezer meals but once you get better at it you can use your own recipes that you enjoy. Two great books are Once a Month Cooking by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg and The Freezer Cooking Manual by Nanci Slagle.

You could make this more fun by getting together with friends to prepare meals or by forming a cooking co-op. (Example: 10 people form a group and each make 10 of the same meal, get together and trade meals every month). My 5 old college roommates and I do this every so often and it’s a lot of fun.

Remind yourself that this is a service of love for your family! A great verse to meditate on:  Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3.

meet: Lisa Ferguson

Lisa Ferguson lives in Chicago with her husband of 21 years, Jon, and her children, Graham (15) and Chloe (12). She has worked as a public school teacher and early childhood literacy consultant. She is currently an instructor and teacher mentor at the University of Illinois at Chicago as well as an early childhood education math coach for Erikson Institute working with Chicago Public School early childhood teachers. She homeschooled her son through 7th grade and currently homeschools her daughter. She is involved in the Parent Association at her son’s high school, oversees the Newcomers’ Lunches at her church, and enjoys organizing social events with neighbors. In her free time she loves to bike, knit, host and attend dinners with friends, play board games, and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.



Introductions

How are you using your strengths to bless your family?
I enjoy having people over, so we make it a point of having friends come for dinner regularly, including our children’s friends and their families.

What do you wish you were better at?
I wish I were more patient. I know so many moms who are so gentle & kind & sweet with their children. I wish I had more of those character qualities.

Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day would be to have a whole day to spend with my husband without having to worry about meals or getting our children to and/or from places. We would spend the day outdoors biking along the beach or visiting the botanic gardens and then, in the evening, we would take in a show at a theater and enjoy a romantic dinner.

Family Life

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day?
Our “vision” is for our family to be on a mission together, and individually, to reach more people for Jesus.

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?
When my children were younger, we read all of the time. Before tucking them into bed, we made it a point to read Bible stories together. As they got older, I wrote Bible verses that I felt were important for us to know, or that had meant something to me, on colored index cards. I kept those cards in a box that my children decorated, and it became known as our “treasure box.” This treasure box stayed on the kitchen table. We recited a verse from the box before each meal until it was committed to memory – some verses we memorized quicker than others. Sometimes I would ask my children to draw or paint pictures of what the verse represented to them, which was always fun. Later, I found some Bible trivia cards that we kept on the kitchen table as well and had fun quizzing one another at the beginning of dinner. My children are in junior high and high school now and they still enjoy pulling those cards out once in awhile!  I also make it a point to keep alert during our day for opportunities to make connections back to God and the Bible. For example, if we were driving home at night admiring the stars, I might remind my children that God told Abraham his family would be as numerous as the stars, or that God knows exactly how many stars there are and that He has given each one a name. My inspiration for this comes from Deuteronomy 6:5-9 - 

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I think the idea is that, rather than have just one specific time in the day or week where we read the Bible individually or as a family, it should permeate our thoughts throughout the day so that we discover how real, practical and applicable it is. In doing this, we have discovered that there are always moments in our day that we can tie back to God and His Word. At the same time, we have also discovered that if we “listen” for God’s still small voice throughout the day, His Spirit often brings to mind a verse to encourage or direct us, just when we need it most. These personal stories have been such fun to share with one another and keep us all encouraged!

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?
Everyone in our family is assigned chores to do around the house each week, and these responsibilities are switched from time to time. We feel strongly that we should all contribute to the care of our home because that is just part of the responsibility of being a family. While we do give our children a monthly allowance, we do not base it on their chores. Their allowance is a completely separate thing – it is something we provide because we want them to learn how to manage money responsibly, and that includes tithing, saving and spending.

Inspiration

What resource (book, audio series, mentor) influenced you most as a parent?
When we were expecting our first child, a friend recommended we read the Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo books. Although we realized they were controversial, we wanted to hear what they had to say about parenting and compare it to other resource recommendations. While there were some things we did not completely agree with, overall, we felt the basic principles the Ezzos wrote about resonated with us. Even before we had our first child, we got involved in a parenting group that included the Ezzo’s video series and began discussing this topic with other parents and parents-to-be so that we could decide on a framework for ourselves as new parents. Later we discovered that the Ezzo’s books went beyond the early years, including parenting during the middle and teen years as well. We are so grateful to have had their books as parenting resources over the years.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family?
I once heard someone speak about Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of A Praying Parent, which inspired me to begin praying for my children even before they were born. I began praying specific things for them – the talents I wanted them to have, their personality type, their work ethic, their influence on others, their careers, for their spouses, etc. I also began praying specific verses for them as I read the Bible and I began keeping a record of these – verses that spoke to the kind of person I wanted them to be, the blessings I was claiming for their lives, and to the kind of influence I desired for them to have as followers of Christ. Over the years, as I have prayed for them, I lay out my list of verses and remind God that these are the requests I make and the blessings I claim from His Word for my children, their spouses, their children and their spouses, and future generations. I still add to that list as I come across particular verses. I am amazed today to see how God has been so faithful in honoring so many of my specific requests!

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you?
All of us make it a point to say “Love you” when ending every phone call to each other, and we always kiss each other good-bye and say “I love you” before we leave the house. This way, we will know that our last words to each other are always “I love you.”
We also have a few fun family traditions at Christmas time:
We have a wooden advent calendar that has doors with the calendar numbers on the outside, above which is the setting of the Christmas scene in Bethlehem. Starting with December 1, my children would open one door each day and find inside a character from the Christmas story to hang on the Bethlehem scene. As they placed the character on the scene, we would read the corresponding verse from the Christmas story. In some of the boxes, I had placed a strip of paper on which was written a special activity or surprise for the family for that day, depending on our schedule, such as “Eat dinner by candlelight” or “Decorate the Christmas tree” or “Drink eggnog with lunch.” My children loved this! We also sing Christmas carols around the piano every night in December when we are home, before the children go to sleep. We always end by turning off all the lights in the house and singing Silent Night with only the piano light on. Since year one, we have bought each of them a Christmas ornament that represents a milestone in their lives for that year. For example, the year that my son first began piano lessons, we bought him a piano ornament. The year that my daughter began ballet, we bought her a ballet ornament. Each year they are reminded of the significant events in their lives when we decorate our Christmas tree.

Spiritual Formation

How do you pray with your child/children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictation?

As for praying with our children, we pray daily before meals and at bedtime. When they became old enough to talk, they took turns saying the prayer at meal times. At bed time, we both prayed aloud, each of us praying for each other as we shared our prayer requests with one another by asking the question, “How can I pray for you?” We continued this tradition of praying before bed with them through the junior high years. Now that my son is in high school, we do not pray regularly with him before bed, but there are occasions when we do, depending on what has happened that day, or what is coming up. We also pray with each of our children every morning before school. Whenever I pray with them personally, whether at bedtime or before school, I try to incorporate scripture. I believe there is power in praying God’s Word over them! When our schedules allow, we do family devotions during the week for about 20 minutes, using a particular study guide; right now we are going through Beth Moore’s study of John. During this time we keep a family prayer journal where we record our individual concerns and praises and take turns praying aloud for one another. It helps that our children have grown up participating in small groups through our student ministry because they really look forward to this time.

How do you handle those tough questions that your kids raise about God and faith?
While we are certainly far from perfect, my husband and I have made it a point to try to live out our faith as individuals in ways our children could witness. We have also been very open about our own doubts and disappointments with God. At the same time, we have shared all the wonderful ways He has worked in our lives over the years, sharing personal stories with them, as well as how He has worked in others’ lives too. Ever since they were little, I made it a point to allow them to see me reading my Bible in the morning so they would know how important this is to me. Early on, I had to learn that God can speak to my children directly, that He doesn’t really need me to do this all the time. So we got into the habit of asking each other what God was saying to us, how important it is to “listen” to God - whether through a Bible story or verse, a song, a circumstance or another person - how we were sensing God working in our lives and the questions, fears or doubts we had about this as well. We have also attempted to step out in faith ourselves and talk about this. Because our children have witnessed this in us, and because they have seen how God has worked in our lives, I think they have become more willing to risk for Him as well. We have also been purposefully missional together in helping our non-believing friends know Jesus, taking risks as a family to do this. Our recent move into Chicago from the suburbs has been one such example of a high-stakes decision for all of us. Yet, I can tell you that the excitement that has resulted in seeing how God has worked through us as a family as a result of this and other risks, has proven to all of us that, despite all our doubts, it is always worth it!

What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them?
We have tried to encourage our children to be involved in helping others as opportunities arise, whether neighbors or strangers. For example, when a new neighbor moves in, the whole family stops by with homemade cookies or bread that my daughter helps me bake. When someone has a baby, we might host a baby shower and organize meals with other neighbors after the baby is born. When a new mom needs help, we offer to babysit. We also volunteer as a family throughout the year, through our church and other organizations, to serve the under-resourced in various settings such as homeless shelters and low-income schools. We feel it is important for our children to be aware of and grateful for God’s blessings to us and to share, in turn, with those in need.

Operation Christmas Child

By: Karen Brown

I’m certain my children could hardly fathom the thought of a Christmas without gifts. Even when we try to limit the consumerism and sheer amount of *things* they get, the stash from grandparents and others is still pretty overwhelming.

So how do we, as parents, give our kids a glimpse into the world of those children that are less fortunate? Those that not only won’t likely have Christmas gifts, but other basic provisions like food and a proper house. How do we make this reality tangible for them and allow them the opportunity to play a part in blessing someone else this Christmas? Maybe even a child their own age.

"Operation Christmas Child brings joy and hope to children in desperate situations worldwide through simple, gift-filled shoeboxes and evangelistic materials that tell the Good News of God’s love.”

The mission is simple. Pack shoeboxes full of necessities and fun gifts for needy children this Christmas. Share the message of God’s love and help be Good News to those who may have never heard the Christmas story.

all images from Samaritan's Purse 

Our family participated in packing shoeboxes. The kids each picked a child their same age and gender. They spent so much time scouring the store looking for what would fit in the box and be just right to send along. We picked out small toys & art supplies, fun toothbrushes & toothpaste, hair bands & barrettes, jumpropes and balls. My son included one of his most loved matchbox cars. We drew cards for the kids receiving the boxes and prayed for them. This year we will watch some of the videos from the website as well. I hope the kids will better connect when they see the images of the children receiving the boxes. Simple gifts with potential for profound, eternal impact.



National Collection Week is November 14-21. Check the website for details on where to drop your box.

Has your family participated in Operation Christmas Child before? How did it impact your children?

Blog Hiatus & New Location

By Karen Brown

In case you haven’t noticed, Life After Sunday has been on a bit of a blogging hiatus.  The bummer was having to scale back doing some of the things we love to make more time in our schedules for a new venture.  The good news is, it was for an awesome reason!

REUNION launched a new church location this month.  We are now one church with two locations.  The dream of REUNION has always been to be a multi-site, reproducing church and to see that dream come to fruition has been nothing short of amazing.  It took a lot of hard work and perseverance, but God has richly and abundantly blessed our community!

So, hopefully we will be back to our regularly scheduled posts from now on.  Thanks for hanging with us and celebrating REUNION Somerville!