Life After Sunday

75 Books that Build Character

2012-03-02T10:21:00.002-05:00

By Karen Brown

Our family reads together every night. Not a lot of things compare to snuggling up under a blanket with the kids and a book. It’s funny how they have favorites they insisting on reading over and over and over again. You know the ones where you skip a line and the kids correct you. Those are by far the most well loved.

I stumbled upon this blog post recently and found it too good not to share. It’s a list of 75 books that build a child’s character. This is an objective list, but we are always on the hunt for new suggestions and favorites. I kind of figure if I am going to be reading to them anyway, it should be something with some substance. Something that helps drive home the values and character traits we are already trying to instill in our children. Something that teaches them lessons about things like diversity, individuality, fairness, and being open-minded.

At our local library, you can reserve books online. I’m excited to grab this list and place some of these on hold. Then, the next time we go to check out books, these are added to the pile. (Brilliant for people like me know will never remember to bring the list along.)

Share with us. What are some of your favorite children’s books or authors? Do have ones you remember reading as a child?

No Time for Flashcards via Apartmenttherapy.com/family

our father

2012-02-24T14:10:00.003-05:00

By Karen Brown

Last spring, Julie wrote a blog post about memorizing scripture with her children. It seemed like such a simple and easy concept to incorporate, but it wasn't something we were currently doing as a family.

At around the same time, REUNION was teaching a series on the Lord’s Prayer. Since our kids didn’t already know the Our Father, we thought this would be a perfect time to teach them.

This has become Owen’s prayer of choice. He says it just about every night. He doesn’t always get all the words right, but he melts my heart every time I hear him.

Owen- age 3

“I have hidden God’s word in my heart that I might not sin again thee.” Psalm 119:11

Why the City is a Wonderful Place to Raise Children

2012-02-21T12:40:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

A friend recently forwarded me an article from The Gospel Coalition. It is written by Kathy Keller, wife of Tim Keller, lead pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan.

Her perspective on raising children in New York City is both thoughtful and insightful. I appreciate her point of view on darkness and light in the city. As a mom who has already raised her children into successful adults, her wisdom is invaluable. I really like what she has to say about the abundance of sin surrounding children in urban settings, since this is often a deterrent for city living. “In the city your kids see sin and its consequences while you are still with them and can help them process it. Eventually they're going to encounter it for themselves, usually when they leave the protected environment of home for the big wide world---just when you are no longer around to discuss things.”

You can read the full article here article.


Photo by Mikhail Glabets

Photo by Mikhail Glabets

scriptures in pictures

2012-02-17T03:00:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

I came across the shop Scriptures in Pictures recently and think these frames would make lovely gifts. I can image giving them for baby gifts, child dedications and baptisms. I know our grandparents would love them too...especially if they came with the kids’ picture already in them.

You can pick the frame and then also pick what scripture to include and what font. They can also be completely customized with a scripture of your choice.

Here are a few favorites...

This rustic brown frame feels fresh and masculine.

The verse “You are the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14 seem quite fitting for a frame with pictures of the kids in it.

You can read more about Paula, the owner of the shop here.

From Two Ellie

First Response

2012-02-15T16:30:00.005-05:00

By Karen Brown

I woke up to my six year old crying. He had made his way in a sleepy stupor to my bedside to tell me he was sick. He climbed onto the pillow next to me as I asked him what was hurting. It was hard to really make out his words, but I did understand he was in pain and wanted me to snuggle him back to sleep. He told me, “I woke up and I prayed to Jesus to feel better, but it just isn’t working yet.”

In that moment, I wanted to be more like my child. I wanted my faith to be as simple as his. I wanted my first response to be one of turning to my Heavenly Father for comfort and healing. There are so many times, in both distress and in joy that I turn to others first. I turn to my husband or my girlfriends to sympathize with what I am going through, or just to complain. I turn to others to celebrate with me, before giving thanks to God for the blessings He has bestowed on me.

I thank God each day for the joy and privilege it is to be a mom. And today I thanked God for the reminder from a six year old to make Him my first response.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you... Isaiah 66:13

School for the Arts

2012-02-10T14:39:00.002-05:00

By Karen Brown

If you are local to Boston---and looking to get your family more exposure to music---this is for you.

REUNION is kicking off its School for the Arts next week. This is an amazing opportunity for your kids (and you) to take some great classes and workshops at really affordable prices. They are offering private lessons in drum, percussion, violin, acoustic and electric guitar, bass, and piano. And the teachers are top notch...lots of Berklee College of Music grads. My son is taking drum lessons and as excited as I am for him to learn to play an instrument, I am equally as excited for him to spend some time with Christian guys that are fantastic role models---and are men that he really looks up to. They are also offering kids dance, theatre, and preschool music lessons. Adult workshops are coming soon and will be in special interest areas like photography, Photoshop, creative writing, and the like.

You can check out the School for the Arts website for more details and registration information.

No bake energy bites

2012-02-03T11:39:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

Source: smashedpeasandcarrots.blogspot.com via Karen on Pinterest

My kids love sweet treats and most anything we bake together. I still feel like we are coming off the sugar high of the holiday season though. One thing we are trying to improve on as a family is fueling our “temples” with healthier food choices. I found this recipe via Pinterest recently and we have been making these No Bake Energy Bites quite a bit. The kids really like them and they are super easy! And since the ingredients aren’t all processed carbs, I don’t feel nearly as guilt dishing these out as after school snacks. Be warned though, they are completely addicting!

Beanies and Bags

2012-02-01T03:00:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while now, you know how much we love Craft Hope. You can read about previous projects here and here. Craft Hope is all about creating and distributing love and hope in the form of handmade items to those in need.

This next project is for the littlest warriors...kids fighting cancer. Craft Hope is collecting beanie hats and bags for kids to wear and take on hospital visits. Hats to keep their little heads warm and bags to bring goodies in to occupy little ones time during treatments. Any kind of beanie hats and any kind of bags will do. You can get as creative as you want. You can even fill the bags with surprises like stickers and such.

For Christmas, my daughter received an upcycled beanie hat made from old sweaters. She has hardly taken this hat off since she got it. I can imagine that she would really love it if together we could make some more hats like hers for these kids battling for their young lives. I can imagine her picking sweaters that she would love to wear as a hat. (I heard somewhere recently that this is a great time of year to shop thrift stores since many people are cleaning out closets for their new year’s resolutions.) My boys would even like picking fabric for bags to sew up for other little boys and choosing gifts to fill them with.... fun bandaids, Matchbox cars, and stickers. My three year old hardly goes anywhere without a bag or backpack filled with “treasures”!

The deadline for this project is March 12th. You can read more details about where to send gifts here. Drop us a line in the comments if you plan to participate. If you’re in the Boston area and would be interested in getting together with others to create, let us know that too and we’ll put together a party.

A quick Google or Pinterest search should give you some inspiration and tutorials. Here are some of my favorites

via Noodlehead

via I Am Momma - Hear Me Roar

Here’s a no-sew bag embellished with fabric paint and freezer paper stencil, via Twoellie. For instructions on freezer paper stencils, see here.

Via Twoellie

Taking Charge Of Your Toddler’s Words

2012-01-26T03:00:00.000-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

It starts off cute. Your three-year-old mimics something slightly inappropriate in a commercial and you and your spouse laugh. Then, of course, because the child received such a positive response, he repeats it and you laugh again. Then he says it for Gramma or your neighbor or the kid next door and the response is the same. He’s so cute. It’s so funny.

Your child has learned that being a show off is fun. He tries other phrases, some that are disrespectful or demeaning or even profane. And if you laugh, show him off or repeat what he’s done, he learns that this behavior is acceptable and a way to get attention. And if you allow him to continue this and develop a bad habit, then you may be sorry later.

If a toddler learns by age three that disrespecting adults is funny, they will continue to smart off to teachers later. Then principals. Then police officers. Disrespect will add more trouble when your child is dealing with correction from adults. Disrespect leads to contempt, and contempt leads to bitterness. You don’t want that for your child. A habit of disrespecting authority will bring unending trouble to their lives.

If a toddler learns that profanity is acceptable, then they will say bad words in inappropriate places. It may be funny in the comfort of your living room, but Mom, do you really want your kid repeating that at church? Or in front of your mother? Or teaching their entire kindergarten class how to say it? A habit of profanity will bring nothing but embarrassment for you.

If a toddler learns that name-calling is okay, then they will call other children around them names. This is not the way to make friends or keep the peace. This is not what you want for your child. You want to have the kid who is well liked, gracious and kind. A habit of name-calling will bring nothing but loneliness.

If a toddler learns that put-downs are acceptable, then they will alienate others around them. A child who feels empowered by putting others down will be insecure and selfish. You do not want to have a kid that other children are wary of, you don’t want your child to be the one that causes heartache. You want the child that others are attracted to and want to be like. A habit of put-downs will cause nothing but pain.

It’s too bad many parents object to this simple correction. They may say, “You’re taking this way too seriously.” Maybe, but the Bible teaches us that we reap what we sow. We should encourage our children to develop good habits so that when they leave us, they are well equipped to handle anything the world gives them. Faithful parents get this and will work hard to stop habits before they rage out of control.

I’ll correct him when he’s older, when it really matters. No - correct it now, when he’s young and easy to teach. Toddlers are way, way easier to instruct than teens. A well-guided toddler will grow up to be a happier, better adjusted, respectful teen. An unrestricted toddler will grow up to be a rebellious, angry teen who will hold you in contempt because you didn’t require respect when he was younger.

But it’s so hard! Yes and no. Parenting is hard. But man up! You must stand your ground now because you are shaping an adult - one who will take with him everything he learned at your knee, the good and the bad. But, then it isn’t that hard. All you have to do when your toddler says something inappropriate is pull him aside. Say, “We don’t talk like that in this household. Those words are not acceptable. Please say you’re sorry. Please don’t talk like that again.” That’s all there is to it. If they don’t heed your instruction, then apply a consistent punishment. The bad habits can stop there for good.

Nobody really cares about stuff like this nowadays. I assure you, every person your child will meet in his future will care. Other parents that meet you care, because if your child says inappropriate things around them, they may not think it’s cute. They may think I’m not sure I want my child to associate with your child. I don’t want those bad habits rubbed off on mine! Unfortunately, Mom, you are judged by your child’s bad behavior. You are doing yourself and your child an injustice by allowing inappropriate words to come out of their mouths.

They’re going to pick it up at school anyway. This attitude is the most destructive attitude of all. It reeks of hopelessness and apathy. By not stepping up to guide your child to speak correctly, you are neglecting them and allowing them to be influenced by undisciplined children. This does not communicate love. This communicates to your child that they are not worth the trouble to correct. Don’t think like this. Be proactive and diligent instead.

Words matter. Little habits can develop into big ones. Parents, take seriously what you are allowing your toddler to talk about.

One Little Word

2012-01-23T09:42:00.000-05:00

By Karen Brown

Have you heard of the one little word concept? It’s the idea of picking a word of the year that inspires and speaks to you. A word that propels you and moves you toward who you want to be and what you want to do that year.

I love the idea of picking a word just for me. A word to compel me. Not something for my whole family to embrace, or something for my husband to agree on, but something I choose...for me. A word that focuses my energies on ultimately being a better wife, mother, and child of God.

Ali Edwards explains it so well when she says, “A single word can be a powerful thing. It can be the ripple in the pond that changes everything. It can be sharp and biting or rich and soft and slow." She goes on to explain what exactly you do with this one little word: “You live with it. You invite it into your life. You let it speak to you. You might even follow where it leads. There are so many possibilities.”

I came across this idea a couple years ago and have yet to do it. It completely intrigues me, though, and I think this may be the year. And what’s the worst that can happen? I abandon my word mid-year because it’s just not working for me? I can handle that.

You can check out Ali Edwards’ site here and see a list of words that may inspire you.

Will you pick one little word? How does it work for you? What word did you choose for 2012?

New Year's resolutions

2012-01-20T09:23:00.000-05:00

Image from Holstee

By Karen Brown

I am a list-maker. Lists make me feel a sense of control over the chaos around me. Lists give me a sense of order to what needs to be done and when. Lists help my head stop spinning, and they make my time more intentional. Lists completely work for me.

Here’s the thing with lists though, at least mine. The list is never complete. I always rewrite “the list” before all the things are crossed off. It doesn’t bother me in the least to have the same item on my list and just move it to the next day. A nice new list is like a fresh start at what needs to get accomplished. Would I prefer to cross it off? Sure I would, and eventually I will, but having the list is a roadmap of sorts for how I structure a particular day.

Lists of New Year’s Resolutions though are another matter. I think it’s the word resolution that I have a hard time with. Resolution makes it feel as if these items on the list will be resolved, done, complete, finished. For me, that feels like a lot of pressure. Like maybe I shouldn’t put it on the list if I don’t see it moving off the list sometime this year. Crazy, I know.

Of course I am still going to make a New Year’s list, I will just call it something different. Maybe I’ll call it my “2012 Aspirations” or maybe I’ll structure it more like a prayer list (because if I am honest, most of the things on my list aren’t going to get done without some strength and determination I don’t presently have).

Whatever I call it, I welcome the renewal that January ushers in. A time for the slate to be wiped clean, a time for things to be made new, a time for reflection and growth, a time to decide what this next year will be about. What I will be about. What direction our family will move, and what we will hold in high regard. Who we will be in Christ Jesus. So I will embrace this New Year, lists and all. His faithfulness and compassions are new every morning, and I am confident that when I fail, as I surely will, that His grace will be enough.

Happy New Year

2012-01-17T10:08:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

Happy New Year from Life After Sunday! We trust that you had a blessed holiday season.

We are finally back from spending some much-needed time with family and friends and are ready to embark on 2012. It’s going to be a great year!

Check back this week for some posts on new year's resolutions. Do you make resolutions? How are they coming so far this year?

A favorite Christmas gift

Give: Love Letters To Strangers

2011-12-16T12:31:00.004-05:00

By Erin Glabets

Imagine writing a love letter to someone you’ve never met. A note telling someone that they’re not alone, that they’re special, and that they’re loved. Think of the hope it could bring to someone suffering from sickness, relational heartbreak, or just plain solitude.

The World Needs More Love Letters, a recently launched online community, is trying to do just that. It was started by Hannah Brencher, a twenty-something who began writing letters to strangers as a way to find hope and healing from her own pain. In her own words: “We are on a mission to spread more love letters out into a world that so desperately needs them. Through writing, leaving and mailing love letters, we are learning to turn our words into lanterns to light the paths of others.”

The group encourages others to write inspiring notes, package them in a way that they can’t be ignored, and leave them in places---like books, coffee shops, trains---where people will be compelled to pick them up.

More Love Letters also mails a bundle of letters every month to someone who’s especially in need of the hope and encouragement; they are building an e-mail list of writers who want to be part of that mission, too.

It’s just about to finish up an awesome 12-day Christmastime push for love letter writing (I just discovered More Love Letters days ago, so I’m a bit late in telling you about it.)

Each day from December 5 to December 17th, they’ve been featuring one special recipient, and they give you a week to mail your letter for that person to their headquarters. Those recipients include Anthony (recently lost the love of his life to cancer), Julia (a seven-year-old battling cancer), and Josie and Hannah (sisters dealing with their parents’ divorce). Writers have a week to get their letters in the mail---so you if you're interested, you still have time to write to some of the recipients featured in the past few days.

I think writing love letters is an incredible way to celebrate the “giving more” aspect of Advent Conspiracy. This week my community group studied the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke and discussed what it means to be a true neighbor to someone. Writing one of these love letters strikes me as a way to be a neighbor to someone you’ve never met and never will meet. It feels a bit silly and even scary to communicate to a stranger in this way, but I love the challenge of it.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog

I hope to dig deeper into the story of Hannah Brencher and More Love Letters soon, so check back. In the meantime here are some ways you can get involved:

• Check out the More Love Letters blog for some of the people you can reach out to with love letters during this these last couple of days of the Christmas campaign. Commit to writing them here.

• Check out the group’s Love Letter Writing 101. And its do’s and dont’s. (Hints: don’t actually make them romantic and mushy or don’t try to give advice. Do tell your story honestly and get creative.)

• Pull out some homemade stationery and write! Invite friends over and make it a party where you can all do it together. Do it with your families and kids. Leave them in places where people will find them. And take pictures to document the experience.

•Join the subscriber list to be part of future love letter writing bundles.

Photo from moreloveletters.com/blog

Things I Try Not To Say To My Kids (And More Truthful Things I Say Instead)

2011-12-14T03:30:00.011-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

Moms, we have a powerful weapon at our disposal: our words. We all know the painful things that were said to us as children, some even by our parents. We all know that words can leave a permanent, painful reminder of how we have failed or how hard life is.

I’m not perfect, but I want to think long-term about how my words affect my children.
This is a list of things I try not to say to my kids and the more truthful things I say instead.

I’m always going to be there for you. This isn’t true. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to forget to pick them up from soccer practice. I’m going to misunderstand them. Sometimes I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. And, even though this is morbid, I can’t control exactly how long I’ll live. I’d rather say, I’m going to give you my best.

You can do anything. Also, not true. My daughter will probably never play for the NFL. My son might not get to fly into outer space. And the chances of me having a future president in my home right now are pretty slim. Instead I say this, God has given you some amazing gifts and he’s got some great plans for you. Let’s trust him for your future.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Sounds like an innocent question, but I think it can subtly send a message to kids (especially sensitive over-thinkers like me) that your job is your identity. Instead, I ask, How can I help you be more like Jesus?

You are going to college. Realistically speaking, college isn’t for everyone. I’d rather work with my child to figure out the best path, not just the assumed path, for him after high school. This decision will be based on his specific strengths and passions and not the once-valuable prestige of a college education. And I’m not so sure I’m willing to fork over $30K a year for my daughter to be a professional puppeteer. Instead, I say, God has a perfect plan for you.

You owe me. Boy, I hate it when moms, especially moms of adults, remind their children of their difficult pregnancies, days of labor, C-sections, dirty diapers, etc. This totally communicates to the child that the hard work wasn’t worth it and that mom is expecting some sort of payback. No, we love unconditionally. We, as mothers, should have low expectations of our children, even as adults! Then, when they do bless us and care for us, and eventually return the favor of the whole diaper-changing thing, we can truly be grateful.

I am ashamed of you. Honestly, I have felt this way about my children’s behavior. But I try not to communicate shame. Instead, I try to use my words to express forgiveness and reconciliation; at some moments it’s easier than others. This doesn’t mean they don’t get punished for their sins. This just means that my acceptance of them as a person isn’t threatened. Instead, I say, We all make mistakes. I forgive you.

You are so pretty. This is a hard one to reign in. I have three beautiful daughters and I want them to be confident with their looks, but I don’t want them to be so caught up with their appearance that they neglect their character. Instead I say, What makes you beautiful is that your inside matches your outside.

Anything negative about Daddy. Daddy and I don’t always agree. Sometimes we can work out our differences out of earshot from the kids, sometimes we can’t. But I believe that if my kids detect any negative vibe from me about Daddy, then their inner security is threatened. Instead I need to vent in a private way, forgive Daddy, express unity and allow the kids to see us make-up.

Let’s take our words seriously, moms. Pray over what you can change about your words and practice saying the graceful and uplifting.

Sharing the Gift of Giving

2011-12-12T03:00:00.002-05:00

By Karen Brown

When we started participating in Advent Conspiracy a few years ago, we shared the concept with our parents. They were originally less than excited about toning down the gift giving, but they eventually embraced the idea and made it their own in a really cool way.

They still wanted to spend what they had budgeted on the kids, but wanted to be able to give the kids the experience of “giving more” and “loving all." Here’s what they came up with. They took their budgeted gift amount and “tithed” a portion to the kids in cash. The kids then took their envelopes of cash and were able to give away the money from Grandpa and Grandma.

I love the idea of the kids being engaged with their grandparents in blessing others. It opens up doors for conversations about the impoverished and invites dialogue on what it looks like to love others with the resources we have. Our kids ended up buying animals for a family though World Vision. Here are some other great ideas for kids; many of the websites have great videos the kids can watch as well. (Consider previewing them first to make sure they are age-appropriate.)

•Samaritan’s Purse: livestock, sporting gear, help build a school

Photo from Samaritan's Purse

•Living Water: fresh water wells so children can attend school

Photo from Living Water International

•Compassion International: child sponsorship

•A local homeless shelter or food pantry

How do you invite your children into giving cheerfully?

Welcome Baby Jesus

2011-12-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

In the spirit of keeping the Advent season simple and meaningful, I am delighted to share with you, Welcome Baby Jesus: Advent and Christmas Reflections for Families by Sarah Reinhard

The author says on the first page, "Advent is a season almost forgotten by the secular world. You’ll find Advent calendars, but they are simply an adornment for the “Christmas Season,” which begins sometime after Halloween and ends on Christmas Day."

This simple, whimsically illustrated book goes through the days of Advent with easy discussion, simple readings and practical application of what it means to worship Jesus in the Advent season. I found this book to be easy to follow and full of grace. It has the perfect combination of theology, practical living and excitement for my little ones. I find myself scrambling for Advent resources about December 5th, and what I like about this book is that I can pick it up at any point and still get a lot out of it. I want my Advent season to be full of meaning for my children, and I’m grateful for easy resources like this one.

The author continues, "After all your presents have been opened and the decorations put away, we still have a Baby who changed the world and who is, at the heart of it, the biggest reason for our celebration. Everything else is secondary to the arrival of our Messiah."

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus to my home this Advent Season!

ruffled welcome

2011-12-07T09:57:00.002-05:00

By Marianna Whitson

This wreath has been pinned on my Pinterest board for quite some time, so I was excited to actually make it. I originally found it on Design*Sponge and thought it looked really cute.

Since we're making an effort to spend more time with people this year (and less on gifts), I thought it would be fun to add a new Christmas decoration to our home. A fun welcome for people when they arrive for dinner (or drinks or a football viewing).

Felt again for this project. The tutorial called for 2.5 yds (!) of felt, but I think I only ended up using about 2 yards. I guess it depends on how full you want your wreath. And I had what I thought was a great idea to add some wintry blues to the all-white wreath, which ended up being, as my husband put it, "a little too crafty." And I agreed, so you'll noticed that the blue disappears by the end of the project.

This project was a definitely more expensive than the felt garland, but not crazy; I was able to get the felt on sale, too. You'll need the felt (2-2.5 yards), pins (enough for each circle which turns out is A LOT!), a 12" styrofoam wreath, scissors, circle template, pencil (i used a disappearing fabric marker) and a scrap of ribbon. I made it in about 3 sittings, and it seems like it took a really long time, but easy, kind of mindless work. It would also be an easy project for older kids to help with since there's mainly tracing and cutting involved.

First, I created my circle template out of an empty cereal box. I wanted something more substantial than paper, but not as heavy as cardboard. I used a random candle stick base to trace a ~3" circle onto the paperboard and then cut it out. Easy peasy.

After that, it was on to the circle tracing. I folded my fabric in half so that there'd be 2 pieces for every circle I traced and cut. I did the tracing several rows at a time and then cut them out. Traced a few rows and then cut. It was better for my tired hands to vary it at least a little. Once it seemed like I had a decent amount - aka towers and towers of wobbling felt circles - I decided to start pinning them onto the wreath. I didn't want to waste supplies and time and effort cutting out more circles than I needed. Plus, again, it would give my hands something different to do.

Each circle is folded in half once (to make a semi-circle) and then in half again. You stick the pin through the bottom corner to make the "rosettes." I wasn't really sure how to arrange them on the wreath, but I just sort of eyeballed it as I went. Once I had a batch pinned in, I went back and fluffed them a little, moving and re-arranging where necessary.

It turns out that the towers and towers of felt circles only covered about half the wreath...back to tracing and cutting and pinning (repeat repeat repeat). Once I made it all the way around, I gave it a once-over again, fluffing, moving, re-pinning.

For the hanger, I originally just cut a strip of felt instead of using ribbon, but decided that ribbon would probably be sturdier. And seeing as the wreath is a snowy white, I didn't want it falling onto our dirty porch. So I replaced the short felt strip with some scrap ribbon I had leftover from another project (you can't see it so it doesn't matter what color it is - mine is pink!). One thing I did do was make sure that the 2 pins holding the ribbon into the wreath were angled up when I pushed them into the foam, just in case they were thinking about popping out, it seemed slightly more secure that way.

Whew! Turned out pretty cute if I do say so. One other thing that I thought would be cool to try is an ombre color shift...but that's probably a little ambitious!

YOU ARE NEITHER MARTHA STEWART NOR MRS. CLAUS: How To Keep The Holiday Season Simple With Infants and Toddlers

2011-12-05T03:00:00.001-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

I was eight months pregnant and suffering from hypertension but where was I three weeks before Christmas? At Jo-Ann Fabric, buying supplies to handmake my daughters, then ages three and two, the perfect gifts for Christmas. And I didn’t even sew. The cashier asked me what I was doing and I told her. She frowned and said, “You put all this back. Those babies don’t need another toy. They need you. Take care of yourself, Mama. You don’t have to have the perfect Christmas.”

I didn’t follow her advice. After all, she was just a nosy busybody. But I should have. I should have not tried so hard to make Christmas special (for toddlers who wouldn’t remember it anyway) and just concentrated on making it a simple celebration for my growing family. I was, after all, not Martha Stewart. So I didn’t need to try to be.

It’s very exciting to have the magical season around us, especially when we finally have a family of our own. But if we have high expectations, then we’re setting ourselves up for stress, burnout and probably a crying jag. Which isn’t at all why Baby Jesus came to earth in the first place.

And before you get in over your head with a sewing project, or find yourself on bedrest, rethink your Christmas expectations and maybe follow this advice instead? I am sure your holiday season will be the happier for it.

1. Stick to the basics. Isn’t Christmas, at its essence, a time for family, gifts and a meaningful experience? Ask yourself how you can define this in the simplest terms around the basic needs of your family. For example, your family needs to eat breakfast, but they don’t need gingerbread waffles on Christmas morning, especially if you’re opening gifts and then driving to Gramma’s four hours away.

2. Don’t start a mega tradition. Now that you have your own family, it’s tempting to think that you are instantly transformed into that Mrs. Claus-like matriarch. You aren’t. The best, most meaningful traditions are the ones that grow organically out of your own family’s needs from year to year. Ours include making gorgonzola mashed potatoes and having funny name tags on the gifts. These traditions came out of our experiences and personalities and they look nothing like my mother’s or grandmother’s traditions. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

3. Keep things simple. With little ones, the abstract idea of Jesus can be hard to grasp. Toddlers can understand “Baby Jesus’ birthday” or “Christmas is about love”. As they grow up, add to this in ways they can understand.

4. Beware of over-stimulation. If a child is over-tired, and has eaten too much sugar, and stayed up too late, don’t expect them to be on their best behavior when the relatives drop by.

5. Discuss your plans early. Communicate early and often with spouses, extended family and friends about what you can and can’t do this year. And then stick to your plan.

6. Gain perspective. The holidays come every year. Your child has a lifetime of traditions and activities and events to enjoy with you. You don’t have to make this year the biggest, busiest and brightest. Next year may be easier to do more, but even if it is not, understand that you’ll have many more Christmases in the future.

7. Say no. If you ever get caught feeling guilty for what you didn’t do around the holidays, then you’re pleasing the wrong people. You are the mom. You get to set the tone for the holidays for your family. You know everyone’s limitations and needs. You can say no to invitations, expectations, or over-the-top events.

Peace on earth starts with you. With planning, low expectations and an understanding of what your family really needs, you can have a Holly Jolly Christmas that everyone can enjoy.

And then, you can make that homemade toy for Valentine’s Day!

advent conspiracy: the book

2011-12-02T03:34:00.002-05:00

By Karen Brown

Image from Amazon

REUNION has been participating in Advent Conspiracy for three years now. Our community has been transformed by this movement - challenged, inspired and forever changed. We are trying to be intentional about keeping Christmas what it should be, a celebration of Jesus’ birth. We are embracing the concepts of worshipping fully, spending less, giving more and loving all.

I recently read the book, Advent Conspiracy by Rick McKinley, Chris Sea and Greg Holder. It was a quick read and good refresher as we head into the holiday season. I love the way the book unpacks how Christmas can still change the world. It lays out how we can redeem Christmas from the consumerism that has come to define the holiday. How we can choose to not participate in all the excess, an excess of food, gifts, overspending...all of it. How the most important gifts we can give are relational gifts and the gift of our presence. We have an inherent need to be with each other that is often fractured in our hurried and overscheduled lives. It talks in depth about loving the poor and the marginalized. That is how Jesus lived his life and He calls us to do the same.

This year we conspire to celebrate Advent year round. To wrestle with how our worship can permeate all seasons and how love and generosity can define us. When you think about it, it really is so simple. Simple acts with profound impact.

Will you conspire with us? How has Advent Conspiracy changed your family?

using an Advent Jesse Tree to Celebrate Jesus at christmas

2011-11-30T03:09:00.002-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

photo from: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/free-jesse-tree-advent-devotional-book/

I’m a stressed out Mom at Christmas time. I often am tempted to overlook the importance of Jesus’ birth. And if I’m neglectful, then my children will miss something meaningful.

To add meaning to our holiday season, over the last few years, our family has created a Jesse Tree advent calendar. Not only do we count down the days until Christmas, but we also read and reflect on the history of mankind and the need of a savior.

The name Jesse Tree comes from a prophecy. In the Old Testament book of Isaiah, the prophet Isaiah tells the discouraged nation of Israel that they will have a future king who will be their salvation.

This is what the NIV says in Isaiah 11:
1 A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on him
the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and of might,
the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the LORD
3 and he will delight in the fear of the LORD.

The idea of the Jesse Tree is that its a way to simply and concretely introduce the idea of Jesus’s birth as an Old Testament fulfillment. A Jesse Tree has 25 symbols, one for each day of the month. The first symbol is about Creation, the later symbols depict Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Isaac and all of the Old Testament pillars of faith, including Jesse, the father of King David, who is a direct ancestor of Jesus.

A Jesse Tree in your home can be a branch with a small ornament hanging from it, one for each day in the month of December. The ornaments depict the symbol of each one of the ancestors of Jesus and the forerunners of our faith.

At our house, we didn’t have room for an actual branch. Instead, we cut out 4”X4” squares of paper and drew a picture of the 25 symbols on each one. Then we taped the paper around a doorframe in our dining room. We’d read the passage associated with that day, and, as the month progressed, so did the artwork and the discussions about why Jesus came, how Christmas is about all of mankind, not just for December 25th. As our children have grown older, they’ve come to anticipate the Jesse Tree as an important element in our Christmas celebrations.

Links for more Jesse Tree ideas, artwork to print and scriptures to look up, try these links:
ERIErcd
A Holy Experience
Jesse Tree
CRI Voice

I’ve found that there is a bit of inconsistency on these sites. This isn’t a major church doctrine, it’s just a fun tradition, so there is no right way to do it. Like everything you do in your family, choose how it can best fit your needs to add meaning to Christmas.

Gift Idea: The Coupon Book for Grandparents

2011-11-28T03:00:00.002-05:00

By Katharine Grubb

My parents and in-laws do not need more junk. The don’t need more clothes, nor sweets, nor the latest gadget (although they have fallen in love with their iPad). What they need this holiday season is more quality time with my children. So for Christmas one year, I made them a holiday coupon book.

Fortunately, they are close enough for us to be together on a monthly basis. So I made a coupon book with twelve coupons, one for each month of the upcoming year. Each coupon was decorated with the foods we planned on eating and pictures of us enjoying our time together. This was pretty simple and nice for me, the non-scrapbook type of mom.

January: Eat beef stew and watch the Patriots in the playoffs.
February: Spaghetti and meatballs and Valentine’s celebration
March: Homemade pizza and board game time
April: Pack a picnic lunch and go to Drumlin Farm to see the baby animals
May: Pack a picnic and walk through Arnold Arboretum
June: Grammy’s birthday celebration!
July: A cookout and a trip to the zoo
August: Beach day picnic!
...You get the idea...

This was a huge hit. We made an extra effort to schedule the events, but we also walked in grace, so when Grampy was sick, we just picked it up the following month.

This was fun to make, fun to plan and fun to enjoy all year long. And we took lots of photos to make it even more special.

X-Out: Drought, Thirst, Disease

2011-11-25T03:00:00.003-05:00

By Karen Brown

As a mom, I can’t imagine the devastation of losing a child. The heartbreak and despair would be almost unbearable. What if the loss of that child was totally preventable? What if all it took to save my baby were people willing to share a little from their excess with my family? So simple.

One child dies every 15 seconds due to a water-related disease. So much avoidable grief, family devastation, and loss. It is truly mind boggling. Sometimes we’re left wondering what we can possibly do to help. Wondering how we can make a difference in a place a half a world away.

This Christmas we have the opportunity to make Christ’s birth Good News for all. REUNION has partnered with Old Try to make Christmas cards that support the mission of transforming communities by digging clean water wells. Three dollars from the sale of each cards goes directly to Living Water. And that may be the coolest part. You aren’t just giving Christmas cards; you’re giving hope to those who may need it the most. You’re loving the thirsty in a way that changes lives.

You can buy your cards online here, or grab them in person at any REUNION gathering.

Clean water really is living water.

Photo courtesy of Living Water

thanksgiving garland

2011-11-22T11:59:00.004-05:00

By Marianna Whitson

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food,

For love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cannot believe that it’s the week of Thanksgiving. Where did the year go? We were planning to have family up from the South to celebrate the day, but, as things sometimes go, those plans fell through. So instead, we are going to be giving thanks with some friends from our church community.

Boston is such a mix of people from all over the country and from even farther away; a mix of people who have always lived here, who plan to stay for a while, and who are just here for a year or two. It is inevitable that there will be many without family around them this week. So, extend an invitation for Thursday’s meal; share a post-Thanksgiving turkey sandwich this weekend; or be especially thankful if you are able to be with your family. Because family isn’t just who you are related to by blood, but who you spend your days with, who you relate to and who you connect with in spirit.

To make things a little more festive for our gathering, I decided to make a Thanksgiving-esque garland. I first saw this idea on Design*Sponge, but altered it for Turkey Day. It took me about an hour to do 18 pom-poms. You can totally adjust the number and the spacing based on where you’re going to hang the garland and what floats your boat.

I chose six fall colors of felt – it was on sale in pre-cut rectangles, four for $1. I already had the kitchen twine (a nice natural color), embroidery thread, scissors and a needle. So, yes, this was done for under $2. So cheap!

I started by cutting my felt length-wise, some with three strips to a sheet, others with four to a sheet. I then folded the strips in half and cut fringe down each side, leaving about a quarter-inch in the center. I folded them in half because it made this part go much faster! I tried two different fringe widths, and ended up liking the thinner fringe better. But play around with it! There’s no right or wrong way to go, and nothing has to be exact.

Once the fringe is cut, roll the strips up. Once the strip is fully rolled, thread the needle and stick it through the center of the pom-pom, leaving a good length of thread behind. I then stuck the needle back into the same hole it originally went in through, wrapping the string around half way as I did that. Once the needle was through a second time, I used the string lengths from both ends to wrap around the pom-pom several times. I then tied the two ends together securely. Do not fluff the pom-poms yet! *Although the original post says to tie a knot in one end of the string and tie it onto the garland, I found that it was easier for me to do it this way.

Once all the pom-poms are tied off, cut off some twine – the length you need plus some extra. Tie the twine around a pom-pom – I just used a regular knot. You may have to twist the pom-poms around to get the knot to lay flat. Continue down the twine until it’s as full as you want it. Once all the pom-poms are on there, then you can fluff them, separating the fringe pieces and ‘encouraging’ them into a rounder shape.

tie them all UNFLUFFED first

then fluff!

Advent Conspiracy: For the Ladies in Your Life

2011-11-21T03:00:00.003-05:00

By Emily McKenna

So, you are all excited about advent conspiracy. What now? Here are a few ideas of homemade gifts that are doable for almost any level of DIYer. Proof? I have made each of them and I am no expert. You can do it!

HEX NUT BRACELET

Friendship bracelets made a strong come back this summer. In case you've missed it, layering numerous friendship-style bracelets is where it's at. This is a hex nut friendship style bracelet. If you can braid, you can make this.

Check out the original tutorial on this blog for the basics, which I tweaked a bit to make what you see above. Instead of a three-strand braid I used a fishtail braid. When I got to the hex nut section I switched to a three-strand braid. Also, taping the ends of the strings/ropes makes threading the hex nuts much less frustrating.

CANVAS TOTE

This is the best beach bag I have ever used. It's huge. There are so many colors of canvas and patterns. Oh, the options. The best part, though, is how fast it was to make. Here is a link to the tutorial I used.

REVERSIBLE TOTE

I like this bag because it has an interesting shape and you get two bags in one. Here is a link to the tutorial and free pattern I used.

A few tips:

1. Make sure the pattern prints to the correct size. Mine was a little smaller than it should have been, which I realized after I cut the fabric.

2. I added a few inches of length to the straps after reading the comments on the tutorial I used.

3. I added pockets to both sides of the bag.

RUFFLE KNIT SCARF

Love me some ruffles. I saw this scarf and thought to myself, "Self. Don't even think about it." Something about knit scares the heck out of me. With the scarf calling my mother-in-law's name for Christmas and a craft night to boost my confidence, I tackled the scarf. Everyone in the room was surprised at how easy and quickly the ruffling went. If skills were bucks you would get a lot of bang for your buck with this handmade gift. The embellishments took a little time but they really add to the ruffles. I will be making one for myself.

Here is the link to the scarf tutorial. A little warning: this specific scarf is a combination of three blogposts on the site. She links to all of them but it's not all in a nice little package like other tutorials. This scarf is totally worth the extra clicking, though.

TRAVEL BAG

I made this travel bag for my friend’s birthday. I was pretty intimidated when I set out to make it. (Zipper! Boxed shape! Lining!) It is surprisingly easy and quick. It’s for an ambitious beginner sewer and up. Here is the tutorial.

Here is a short list of other awesome gifts for ladies that I are still on my to do list:

Braided Scarf

Wrap Bracelet
Braided Layered Scarf

Turban Twisted Headband

Christmas, Advent Conspiracy Style

2011-11-17T03:00:00.001-05:00

By Karen Brown

If you are like me, every year the holidays manage to sneak up on you. Despite my best intentions, I end up a little frantic trying to get it all done - whatever the elusive “it” and “done” are! I vow to start earlier next season and have fun with the shopping and making of gifts so they really are things I get to do and not things I dread.

I am already getting messages in my inbox and hearing ads on the radio for pre-Black Friday sales and specials. When I start to hear those, it almost feels like the starting gun of a race that I am not quite prepared to run – as if, in my head, the race starts on Black Friday, but then they change the start time on me. This year I am going to embrace Christmas even though it’s not yet Thanksgiving; I am going to begin to at least think intentionally about how we celebrate and the ways we give.

One of the things our family hopes to do each year is it participate more fully in Advent Conspiracy. It just makes sense to us to strive as a family and church body to worship fully, spend less, give more and love all.

Starting next week, Life After Sunday will be highlighting ways to celebrate Christmas, Advent Conspiracy style. Everything from shopping Fair Trade, to homemade gift ideas, organizations that promote social justice for the oppressed and new family traditions honoring the birth of our Savior. We want to continue to be inspired by the ideas of those around us. We would love to hear from you! If you are interested in guest posting during this series, please send us your thoughts and ideas. I’m excited to collaborate as we together redeem Christmas as Good News for all!

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission

2011-11-15T03:00:00.003-05:00

I am thrilled to introduce my friend Janet to you today. I have known Janet for well over a decade, both as a ministry partner at Community Christian, and as a friend. (She is one of those women I just wanted to hang out with and soak up wisdom from long before I was married or had kids of my own.) She is an amazing mother and wife and has a huge heart for her family and for Jesus. Her perspective is one of grace, truth and humility. It is a priviledge to call her friend!

-Karen

Enrolling Our Kids In The Jesus Mission

By Janet McMahon

A look of disappointment, frustration and surprise came over his face. Tears were his immediate response. We had just told our 13-year-old son that we were leaving the only town he had ever known, to move to another city. The days and weeks that followed this conversation were full of questions, not just by our 13 year old, but all three of our children. “Why, when, how and are you sure?” At the time we were considering this move, our kids were 16, 13, and seven. Moving kids in high school and middle school seemed less than ideal

No doubt my three kids are the number one calling of my life. To raise them to be responsible Christ followers who are finding their purpose and living fully committed to the Jesus mission, that would be my dream come true. So when the direction God seemed to be giving us made my kids unhappy, certainly I felt conflicted at my best and confused and sometimes angry at my worst. “Why would God clearly call me and my husband to move to a new city if it would make my children sad?”

As the weeks and months passed, it became increasingly clear that God was clearly directing us to move and to say “no” felt almost disobedient. What was so clear to my husband Troy and I felt like a slap in the face---to our middle son in particular. What were we to do?

I prayed, big time, probably more then I had ever prayed in my life. And as I prayed, I consulted friends, books, and others who had made these types of choices before. Over time, I began to stand on this ultimate truth: If God was clearly asking Troy and I to move to a new city, it was not only the best thing for us, but it would be the best thing for our kids. We may not know why this move is good for our kids, we may never know, but the fact remains that God’s plans for us are for our benefit. Jeremiah says it this way: “For I know the plans I have for you.” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

So, in spite of our children’s reservations, we decided to jump in fully and lead our children strongly through the process.

There were a lot of things along the way that helped our kids join the journey, but the following three things stick out to me as being a significant part of helping our kids not only accept the plan that God had laid out, but perhaps even grow in their faith as a result. These things were: responsibility, relationship and repetition.

We gave our kids responsibility for some of the decisions. We picked the area we were going to move to and we asked them to pick the school. There were two high schools in the district. We set up meetings at each school and we went as a whole family to visit. They had to pick which high school of the two they wanted to attend. They all agreed on one of the two high schools, and so we narrowed our house search to the boundaries of that high school. We didn’t know this at the time, but not only did they pick the high school they would attend, but that high school is the space where our new church would be meeting.

We also told our kids that if God asked us to move to a new city, then He had something in mind for each of them to do. They each had to pick a responsibility at Church. Once they identified their responsibility, they had to carry it out; everyone in the family was required to contribute in an area of their choosing. Our oldest son played the keyboard in the worship band, our middle son ran the sound board for our kids’ large group worship time, our youngest daughter learned the kids worship songs and began over time to lead the kids worship time. In church, our kids were not required to do everything, just one thing. One area of serving is a requirement, any more than that was a choice.

Although responsibility and serving was not a choice, that does not mean that they couldn’t share their feelings, their grief, their sadness and their frustration about all that they were going through. I believe that feelings are worth sharing, and feelings cannot be right or wrong. So this is where the relationship came in.

We chose to work on our relationship with our kids by giving them meaningful conversation everyday, peppered with a lot of questions, often to their frustration. There were days when I knew my kids were grieving the loss of “home.” I went in their room and made them talk to me. At times they were hiding their heads under a pillow, grunting and pushing me away, but I waited. I said things like, “I know you hurt, and if you don’t get it out by talking, it will come out in other ways, and those other ways suck! So talk!” Eventually, not every time, they talked, and cried. I cried many tears that first year with my children as we all openly grieved the loss of “home.”

Then there was the repetition. I found myself repeating two things in order to continue to confidently lead my kids in the direction of the mission God had called us to. The first thing I said over and over to the kids and to myself was, “sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.” They didn’t always like that saying, but have come to recognize it as true. The second thing I repeated, mostly in my own head was, “this is not about their happiness, but their holiness.” God is not as interested in my kids being happy as He is in them being holy. And sometimes we must forego what makes us temporarily happy in order to pursue a life of holiness and obedience to God’s calling.

I believe that being parents who put following God as a number one priority in our lives---even when to do so causes temporary unhappiness to our children---is the greatest gift we can give our children. Our children Jake, now 21, Mitch now 18, and Judiann, now 12, have adjusted quite well. Jake is a junior in college pursuing a career in ministry. The other two are home and still serving at the local church (sometimes even by choice). Just last night I asked our middle son, “do you think our family is where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing?” He smiled, made a joke as he always does, and then said in all seriousness, “yes.”

Janet McMahon graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in social work. After working in mental health and adoption, Janet joined the staff of Community Christian Church in Naperville, IL in 1995 where she worked in Children’s Ministry, Support and Recovery and Small Groups. In 2007, Janet relocated to Kansas City where she helped start Restore Community Church. Janet is currently the Community Life Director at Restore providing vision and direction for small groups. Janet and her husband Troy have three children, Jake (21), Mitch (18) and Judiann (12).

Freezer Meals: Save your Wallet and Your Sanity

2011-11-09T11:24:00.001-05:00

By Melissa Nicholson

Have you heard of freezer cooking? It’s a great way for moms to save time, money, and their sanity. Freezer cooking just means cooking meals ahead of time and freezing them so it’s easy to defrost, cook, and serve later. Variations can include cooking once a month, batch cooking, or cooking parts of meals. The benefits include always having a home cooked meal on hand so you can avoid the “It’s 5:00, what are we going to have for supper?” fiasco! It also saves money by purchasing groceries in bulk, and you end up wasting less food. You will also end up eating out less often. You will have a more peaceful dinner hour because most of the work has been done already, including most of the dishes (major bonus)! It saves a lot of time and energy in the long run.

Photo Credit: SouthernLiving

Step one is to Plan it! You can choose to make a bunch of the same meal at one time to freeze or do 30 meals for the month, it’s up to you. Think about what is on sale? Stock up on meats throughout the month when they go on sale and choose the meal based on what you have on hand. Also think about what season it is: in the summer you will probably want to stock up meats with marinades for the grill or lighter meals and the winter is lots of soups and slow cooker meals. Think about things that freeze well too. Sour cream separates and don’t freeze whole potatoes. I also try to think of people that I would be bringing a meal to in the next month such as those who have just had babies and sick families at church). Once you have your meal plan together then you need to make your grocery list. You may need to shop at multiple stores to take advantage of the different sales. Write out every ingredient with its quantity and then go through the cupboards to see what is in hand. It’s important to write the quantity to add up because when you do multiple meals it’s easy to lose track of, for example, how many eggs you will need and just assume you will have enough. It’s really annoying to have to run to the store in the middle of a cooking day. When you have your list together, rewrite it in the order that you will find the items in the store. Remember to add things like gallon- and quart-size freezer bags and tin foil pans and pie plates if you will be giving the meals away or don’t have enough containers to store them in your freezer. It’s a great idea to go garage sale shopping to stock up on Tupperware so you’re not always buying disposable tins. Clean out and organize your fridge and freezer before you go shopping so you have room to put it all away when you get home from the store.

Step two is to Prep it! Do as much of the prep work as possible the day before your cooking day. Good things to get done the day before include: browning all the hamburger, cooking the chicken and dicing it up, chopping things that can be chopped in advance (green peppers, carrots, etc.) Onions are a good thing to chop on the day you put your meals together, though. Clear your counters of everything you can. Pull out the ingredients that don’t need to be refrigerated and place like items together. Set up an area for canned/boxed food, freezer bags and permanent marker for labeling, and an area for putting the meals together. Put the spices out in the area you put the meals together for easier access. Pull out every mixing bowl you own---you will be using and washing them multiple times. Decide on the order you will be putting the meals together. Put all the chicken dishes together in a row then all the hamburger meals, etc. Put a star by the items that will be needed for the meals, but that are not added yet (ex. Pasta that you will cook right before you have the meal) and put them away in your cupboard. This way you will not use it for something else and not have what you need the day you finish the meal.

Step three is cooking day! Get a babysitter or have Dad take the kids AWAY from your house for the day. Don’t try to attempt to make 30 meals with your children around. Wear good shoes; your feet and back will thank you! (I sound like your mother.) Start early; this will take the entire day. Put the meals together. Stop every couple of hours to clean up and wash dishes and have a cup of coffee. Have fun with it! Put on some of your favorite Christian music or enjoy the sound of silence. Don’t expect to feed your family on this day; you have enough work to do!

Other helpful hints: Many meals will require defrosting, so remember to pull out meals at least a day in advance and put in fridge. Double bag things because sometimes the bag will split open as it expands with freezing. Make between 25-30 recipes if you are going for a whole day of making meals. Exceeding 30 is almost impossible and you don’t want the food to go bad before you eat it. When making 30 recipes it usually makes about 45 meals because many of them you will split or double to make a few of the same meal. This will get you through about 2 months because there will be left overs you will eat occasionally and sometimes you will have meals out of the house for one reason or another. A good place to start is buying a book that is devoted to freezer meals but once you get better at it you can use your own recipes that you enjoy. Two great books are Once a Month Cooking by Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg and The Freezer Cooking Manual by Nanci Slagle.

You could make this more fun by getting together with friends to prepare meals or by forming a cooking co-op. (Example: 10 people form a group and each make 10 of the same meal, get together and trade meals every month). My 5 old college roommates and I do this every so often and it’s a lot of fun.

Remind yourself that this is a service of love for your family! A great verse to meditate on: Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3.

meet: Lisa Ferguson

2011-11-07T10:21:00.000-05:00

Lisa Ferguson lives in Chicago with her husband of 21 years, Jon, and her children, Graham (15) and Chloe (12). She has worked as a public school teacher and early childhood literacy consultant. She is currently an instructor and teacher mentor at the University of Illinois at Chicago as well as an early childhood education math coach for Erikson Institute working with Chicago Public School early childhood teachers. She homeschooled her son through 7th grade and currently homeschools her daughter. She is involved in the Parent Association at her son’s high school, oversees the Newcomers’ Lunches at her church, and enjoys organizing social events with neighbors. In her free time she loves to bike, knit, host and attend dinners with friends, play board games, and curl up with a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.

Introductions

How are you using your strengths to bless your family?
I enjoy having people over, so we make it a point of having friends come for dinner regularly, including our children’s friends and their families.

What do you wish you were better at?
I wish I were more patient. I know so many moms who are so gentle & kind & sweet with their children. I wish I had more of those character qualities.

Describe your perfect day.
My perfect day would be to have a whole day to spend with my husband without having to worry about meals or getting our children to and/or from places. We would spend the day outdoors biking along the beach or visiting the botanic gardens and then, in the evening, we would take in a show at a theater and enjoy a romantic dinner.

Family Life

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day?
Our “vision” is for our family to be on a mission together, and individually, to reach more people for Jesus.

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?
When my children were younger, we read all of the time. Before tucking them into bed, we made it a point to read Bible stories together. As they got older, I wrote Bible verses that I felt were important for us to know, or that had meant something to me, on colored index cards. I kept those cards in a box that my children decorated, and it became known as our “treasure box.” This treasure box stayed on the kitchen table. We recited a verse from the box before each meal until it was committed to memory – some verses we memorized quicker than others. Sometimes I would ask my children to draw or paint pictures of what the verse represented to them, which was always fun. Later, I found some Bible trivia cards that we kept on the kitchen table as well and had fun quizzing one another at the beginning of dinner. My children are in junior high and high school now and they still enjoy pulling those cards out once in awhile! I also make it a point to keep alert during our day for opportunities to make connections back to God and the Bible. For example, if we were driving home at night admiring the stars, I might remind my children that God told Abraham his family would be as numerous as the stars, or that God knows exactly how many stars there are and that He has given each one a name. My inspiration for this comes from Deuteronomy 6:5-9 -

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

I think the idea is that, rather than have just one specific time in the day or week where we read the Bible individually or as a family, it should permeate our thoughts throughout the day so that we discover how real, practical and applicable it is. In doing this, we have discovered that there are always moments in our day that we can tie back to God and His Word. At the same time, we have also discovered that if we “listen” for God’s still small voice throughout the day, His Spirit often brings to mind a verse to encourage or direct us, just when we need it most. These personal stories have been such fun to share with one another and keep us all encouraged!

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?
Everyone in our family is assigned chores to do around the house each week, and these responsibilities are switched from time to time. We feel strongly that we should all contribute to the care of our home because that is just part of the responsibility of being a family. While we do give our children a monthly allowance, we do not base it on their chores. Their allowance is a completely separate thing – it is something we provide because we want them to learn how to manage money responsibly, and that includes tithing, saving and spending.

Inspiration

What resource (book, audio series, mentor) influenced you most as a parent?
When we were expecting our first child, a friend recommended we read the Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo books. Although we realized they were controversial, we wanted to hear what they had to say about parenting and compare it to other resource recommendations. While there were some things we did not completely agree with, overall, we felt the basic principles the Ezzos wrote about resonated with us. Even before we had our first child, we got involved in a parenting group that included the Ezzo’s video series and began discussing this topic with other parents and parents-to-be so that we could decide on a framework for ourselves as new parents. Later we discovered that the Ezzo’s books went beyond the early years, including parenting during the middle and teen years as well. We are so grateful to have had their books as parenting resources over the years.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family?
I once heard someone speak about Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of A Praying Parent, which inspired me to begin praying for my children even before they were born. I began praying specific things for them – the talents I wanted them to have, their personality type, their work ethic, their influence on others, their careers, for their spouses, etc. I also began praying specific verses for them as I read the Bible and I began keeping a record of these – verses that spoke to the kind of person I wanted them to be, the blessings I was claiming for their lives, and to the kind of influence I desired for them to have as followers of Christ. Over the years, as I have prayed for them, I lay out my list of verses and remind God that these are the requests I make and the blessings I claim from His Word for my children, their spouses, their children and their spouses, and future generations. I still add to that list as I come across particular verses. I am amazed today to see how God has been so faithful in honoring so many of my specific requests!

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you?
All of us make it a point to say “Love you” when ending every phone call to each other, and we always kiss each other good-bye and say “I love you” before we leave the house. This way, we will know that our last words to each other are always “I love you.”
We also have a few fun family traditions at Christmas time:
We have a wooden advent calendar that has doors with the calendar numbers on the outside, above which is the setting of the Christmas scene in Bethlehem. Starting with December 1, my children would open one door each day and find inside a character from the Christmas story to hang on the Bethlehem scene. As they placed the character on the scene, we would read the corresponding verse from the Christmas story. In some of the boxes, I had placed a strip of paper on which was written a special activity or surprise for the family for that day, depending on our schedule, such as “Eat dinner by candlelight” or “Decorate the Christmas tree” or “Drink eggnog with lunch.” My children loved this! We also sing Christmas carols around the piano every night in December when we are home, before the children go to sleep. We always end by turning off all the lights in the house and singing Silent Night with only the piano light on. Since year one, we have bought each of them a Christmas ornament that represents a milestone in their lives for that year. For example, the year that my son first began piano lessons, we bought him a piano ornament. The year that my daughter began ballet, we bought her a ballet ornament. Each year they are reminded of the significant events in their lives when we decorate our Christmas tree.

Spiritual Formation

How do you pray with your child/children and help make prayer and connecting to God meaningful for them without it being dictation?

As for praying with our children, we pray daily before meals and at bedtime. When they became old enough to talk, they took turns saying the prayer at meal times. At bed time, we both prayed aloud, each of us praying for each other as we shared our prayer requests with one another by asking the question, “How can I pray for you?” We continued this tradition of praying before bed with them through the junior high years. Now that my son is in high school, we do not pray regularly with him before bed, but there are occasions when we do, depending on what has happened that day, or what is coming up. We also pray with each of our children every morning before school. Whenever I pray with them personally, whether at bedtime or before school, I try to incorporate scripture. I believe there is power in praying God’s Word over them! When our schedules allow, we do family devotions during the week for about 20 minutes, using a particular study guide; right now we are going through Beth Moore’s study of John. During this time we keep a family prayer journal where we record our individual concerns and praises and take turns praying aloud for one another. It helps that our children have grown up participating in small groups through our student ministry because they really look forward to this time.

How do you handle those tough questions that your kids raise about God and faith?
While we are certainly far from perfect, my husband and I have made it a point to try to live out our faith as individuals in ways our children could witness. We have also been very open about our own doubts and disappointments with God. At the same time, we have shared all the wonderful ways He has worked in our lives over the years, sharing personal stories with them, as well as how He has worked in others’ lives too. Ever since they were little, I made it a point to allow them to see me reading my Bible in the morning so they would know how important this is to me. Early on, I had to learn that God can speak to my children directly, that He doesn’t really need me to do this all the time. So we got into the habit of asking each other what God was saying to us, how important it is to “listen” to God - whether through a Bible story or verse, a song, a circumstance or another person - how we were sensing God working in our lives and the questions, fears or doubts we had about this as well. We have also attempted to step out in faith ourselves and talk about this. Because our children have witnessed this in us, and because they have seen how God has worked in our lives, I think they have become more willing to risk for Him as well. We have also been purposefully missional together in helping our non-believing friends know Jesus, taking risks as a family to do this. Our recent move into Chicago from the suburbs has been one such example of a high-stakes decision for all of us. Yet, I can tell you that the excitement that has resulted in seeing how God has worked through us as a family as a result of this and other risks, has proven to all of us that, despite all our doubts, it is always worth it!

What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them?
We have tried to encourage our children to be involved in helping others as opportunities arise, whether neighbors or strangers. For example, when a new neighbor moves in, the whole family stops by with homemade cookies or bread that my daughter helps me bake. When someone has a baby, we might host a baby shower and organize meals with other neighbors after the baby is born. When a new mom needs help, we offer to babysit. We also volunteer as a family throughout the year, through our church and other organizations, to serve the under-resourced in various settings such as homeless shelters and low-income schools. We feel it is important for our children to be aware of and grateful for God’s blessings to us and to share, in turn, with those in need.

Operation Christmas Child

2011-11-03T03:00:00.003-04:00

By: Karen Brown

I’m certain my children could hardly fathom the thought of a Christmas without gifts. Even when we try to limit the consumerism and sheer amount of *things* they get, the stash from grandparents and others is still pretty overwhelming.

So how do we, as parents, give our kids a glimpse into the world of those children that are less fortunate? Those that not only won’t likely have Christmas gifts, but other basic provisions like food and a proper house. How do we make this reality tangible for them and allow them the opportunity to play a part in blessing someone else this Christmas? Maybe even a child their own age.

"Operation Christmas Child brings joy and hope to children in desperate situations worldwide through simple, gift-filled shoeboxes and evangelistic materials that tell the Good News of God’s love.”

The mission is simple. Pack shoeboxes full of necessities and fun gifts for needy children this Christmas. Share the message of God’s love and help be Good News to those who may have never heard the Christmas story.

all images from Samaritan's Purse

Our family participated in packing shoeboxes. The kids each picked a child their same age and gender. They spent so much time scouring the store looking for what would fit in the box and be just right to send along. We picked out small toys & art supplies, fun toothbrushes & toothpaste, hair bands & barrettes, jumpropes and balls. My son included one of his most loved matchbox cars. We drew cards for the kids receiving the boxes and prayed for them. This year we will watch some of the videos from the website as well. I hope the kids will better connect when they see the images of the children receiving the boxes. Simple gifts with potential for profound, eternal impact.

National Collection Week is November 14-21. Check the website for details on where to drop your box.

Has your family participated in Operation Christmas Child before? How did it impact your children?

Blog Hiatus & New Location

2011-11-02T18:12:00.001-04:00

By Karen Brown

In case you haven’t noticed, Life After Sunday has been on a bit of a blogging hiatus. The bummer was having to scale back doing some of the things we love to make more time in our schedules for a new venture. The good news is, it was for an awesome reason!

REUNION launched a new church location this month. We are now one church with two locations. The dream of REUNION has always been to be a multi-site, reproducing church and to see that dream come to fruition has been nothing short of amazing. It took a lot of hard work and perseverance, but God has richly and abundantly blessed our community!

So, hopefully we will be back to our regularly scheduled posts from now on. Thanks for hanging with us and celebrating REUNION Somerville!

A Penny Saved: Amazon Mom

2011-10-14T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Karen Brown

Have you checked out Amazon Mom? Or Amazon Student? They’re both free membership programs, where you get great deals on things you already buy for your family. For moms, you get lots of exclusive savings, like 30% off diapers and wipes and free 2-day shipping. That’s a pretty sweet deal, and ends up being cheaper than buying from the big box stores! The only catch is that with your subscription, you have the products sent at regular intervals that you choose---say a box of diapers every month or whatever. There is also a weekly email that advertises 10 deals of the week.

Dave Ramsey would totally approve. Actually, he would probably say I should potty train my kid and not buy diapers at all. (Someone should tell the kids!)

The Collage

2011-10-13T08:50:00.002-04:00

By Jessica Floyd

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

We are all artists, it is true. Have you ever noticed how most all small children love to draw, paint, color, mold clay, play with Play-Doh? They enjoy the creative process more freely than adults because they are not afraid of making mistakes. So what changes? In my experience in the art room, I can tell you that as children get older they start to compare their art projects to others. Peers might even tell them that their project is very good, or maybe even that it is not so great. Parents may not realize when their child comes with an art project that it is something they have worked very hard on and that they may be self-conscious about the caliber of their work. So how do we react as parents? Do we say, "Oh that is very nice honey," brushing it aside? Or do we celebrate their hard work?

I remember when I was in second grade I made this collage. It was actually for a backdrop that my group used for a class project. My dad had come up to school for open house and my teacher told me I could take the backdrop home. I thought it was trash; where would I put the huge 8x10 foot collage on butcher paper? I told the teacher I would just throw it away. Dad stopped me. He said it was beautiful and he would like to have it. He hung it up at his house on a wall for years. That meant the world to me as a little kid. As I got older and went to high school, my dad moved. I probably did not notice the first couple of times I was at his new place, but I went in his room to get something and the closet door was open. He had used my collage on the back wall of his closet. It looked a little roughed up, but there it was. I could not believe it. The same pride that I felt when I was eight years old lit up inside me. I felt so special that he kept my artwork that I deemed as trash for all those years.

I went off to college and my dad got transferred to Memphis. He called me up and told me that he did bring my collage with him but it was smaller now because it got damaged in the move. I just laughed and told him that he did not have to keep that ratty old thing. I was majoring in art and promised to make him something new. But he told me he was going to keep it, that it was just going to be a little smaller, and that I should not worry because he had already taken pictures of it. He was telling the truth because a few years later on my 21st birthday I received a hand-made card in the mail. The inside of the card was filled with a collage of pictures of me and my Dad, and adorning the cover was a picture of my huge collage. Again, I was filled with pride that something I had created meant that much to my dad. He passed away about a year and half later. I do not really know whatever became of that silly collage on butcher paper, but I do know that I graduated with a degree in art.

As parents we have the ability to build up our children and encourage them. They are not all going to grow up and be professional artists, but they probably will want to pursue careers in areas in which they feel accomplished. In the art room, I noticed how a child feels about their artwork is not necessarily based on their artistic ability. Children with high self-esteem and self-worth may not be the most artistically talented in the class, but they hold their head up high and are proud of what they have created---and cannot wait to go home and show their parents! Likewise, the child with the best drawing may just assume it is not worth anything. So why is it important to foster creativity in our children? Creativity is not just slapping paint on canvas, it is problem solving. When children start to care about what others will think about their art, they can have a meltdown when they make a mistake. Part of my job as the art teacher was to pick up the pieces and show them that their work is not ruined. This is where even more creativity comes in. I would tell the child that even the most famous artists made changes to their artwork to make it better. In almost any creative project there are choices and decisions that have to be made and sometimes we make mistakes. Mistakes are OK.

Try working on something creative at home with your child. Perhaps a scrapbook, a chore chart, or even an art project. If you or your child makes a mistake, don’t trash it and start over. Talk it through with your child and see what you can come up with to fix it. Problem solving is a wonderful attribute to model for your children. Instead of starting over or melting down, they can be confident and know that they have the ability to work something out.

Her entry won first place at the county fair

We are all God's children. God is the creator of all things. Let us not forget that we are created in HIS image. We are just like a work or art. We may make some mistakes along the way as parents, as children, as friends. There is no blemish too big for God to repair within us, if we let Him. Thank goodness God is a patient artist and continues the work He started when He created us!

Craft Hope: Sock Monkeys

2011-10-06T10:26:00.001-04:00

By Karen Brown

Craft Hope has posted their last project for 2011. If you aren’t familiar with Craft Hope, you can read here and here, where we previously posted about this organization.

Craft Hope’s mission is “spreading seeds of hope one stitch at a time.” Project 15 is one I am personally excited about. For this project, handmade sock monkeys will be collected and distributed to children who lost their homes this summer in the devastating wildfires in Texas. Sock monkeys are sure to put smiles on the faces of kids who lost their special stuffed friends when their homes went up in flames.

A gift Owen and I made together for his cousin

My kids and I have been making sock monkeys together for a couple years. They are one of our favorite gifts to give to friends and family members for birthdays and Christmas. The kids really enjoy picking out the socks and button eyes to use and even help with stuffing the monkeys. This would be a great project to work on together as a family!

The deadline for this project is November 24th, Thanksgiving. Check out their website for further instructions and tutorials.

The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family

2011-10-04T10:54:00.001-04:00

By Karen Brown

I was at a conference a few years ago and the speaker happened to mention she had just grabbed this book to read on the plane. As soon as I heard the title, The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family, I knew it was something I needed to check out. Frantic described my family to a T.

This book is a great tool for what the author Patrick Lencioni calls, “restoring sanity to the most important organization in your life.” It walks families through 3 questions to help them figure out what makes their family unique, what their priorities are, and how to come up with a strategic family plan. The ultimate goal of the exercises is to move families away from being reactive, chaotic, stressed out and frantic to a place where they are living life with intentionality and a sense of purpose.

The author sites many reasons why we need to look at our families as organizations and then lead them accordingly. It talks about the price we pay for living in uncontrolled chaos where the hope is to just survive. This book gives you the tools to make purposeful progress towards goals you decide upon as a family. A light bulb moment for me was that we, as a family, need to decide which chaos to tolerate and which we are going to squash.

I would highly recommend this book for families with children, but it would be equally valuable for anyone. Although I must confess that we haven’t put it all into practice, we have seen remarkable value in the changes we have chosen to make. It has helped us hone in on our family’s focus and purpose and given us a strategy for decision-making. Two thumbs up in my book!

Preparing Your Daughters for Dating

2011-09-30T17:07:00.000-04:00

By Hank Wilson

Just writing that title makes me nauseous as a father. The fact of the matter is, I'll always be nauseous when it comes to my little girls dating. The real issue is, will they be ready?

I don't actually remember the first time I heard the term "Daddy Daughter Date." I just remember liking the idea from the beginning because:

1. I wanted each of my girls to know how loved and beautiful they are in the eyes of their Dad (and in the eyes of their Heavenly Dad too).
2. I wanted each of my girls to know how a young man should treat them on dates in the future.

So I’ve done these daddy daughter dates with my girls since they were little. We go out for pizza, watch a movie, go to a coffee shop to do puzzles or games, take a walk, or sit at a park. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. We make it one-on-one time, we do things they want to do, and we spend a lot of time talking and getting to know one another.

I want my girls to have a healthy amount of connection, attention, and affection from their Dad. If they don't get it from me, I think studies and pastoral experiences indicate they may go looking for it elsewhere. In a book called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, author Meg Meeker says:

Daughters who perceive that their fathers care a lot about them, who feel connected with their fathers, have significantly fewer suicide attempts and fewer instances of body dissatisfaction, depression, low self-esteem, substance use and unhealthy weight.

A daughter's self-esteem is best predicted by her father's physical affection.

Girls with good fathers are less likely to flaunt themselves to seek male attention.

Girls with involved fathers wait longer to initiate sex and have lower rates of teen pregnancy.

Love your daughters well, Dads. In my experience, a daddy daughter date is a great way of showing how much your little girl means to you.

“Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?” Psalm 127:3 TM

Becoming Fire Smart

2011-09-29T10:09:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

I have a confession to make. We have an evacuation ladder in our second floor bedroom closet that I have never taken out of the box, much less made sure it actually works. I have fire extinguishers on every floor, but I have never read the instructions. If I ever had to try and operate one in a hurry or in the dark, I’m not sure I could pull it off. And we have smoke detectors all over the place. Do I check to make sure they are functioning? Not very often (unless they are beeping at me for new batteries). In fact, on occasion I have even disconnected the one in the kitchen because it is so irritating. I know, pretty bad, huh?

October 1st is National Family Fire Drill Day. I am determined to come up with an evacuation plan and share it with the kids. I will read the instructions on working the fire extinguisher and may even check the batteries in the detectors, and not just when I’m prompted by their annoying beep. Maybe we’ll practice some crawling through smoke and some “stop, drop and rolls.” We should probably try out that evacuation ladder as well, just for kicks.

It is my obligation and privilege as a parent to keep my kids and family safe. I know this. I am certain I would find it hard to forgive myself if something happened to my children as a result of poor planning on the part of me and my husband. My prayer is that a house fire is something neither my family nor yours will ever experience, but I must be prepared regardless.

For more details on creating a fire plan, check out www.befiresmart.com.

What does your family’s fire and evacuation plan include? Want to join me in creating one?

Favorite Bibles for Kids

2011-09-23T03:00:00.001-04:00

By Karen Brown

My two oldest kids may have finally graduated from baby Bibles to something with actual chapters and verses. I thought it would be an easy task to simply grab them a new Bible from the bookstore, but the selection is a bit daunting. After asking some other parents and doing a little research, here’s a short list of favorites.

For Infants & Toddlers

This is a really sweet Bible that covers some of the more popular stories. The stories rhyme (hence the name) and the kids really enjoy listening to it. The illustrations are really nice and pretty to look at. This Bible makes a great gift.

For Preschoolers

This Bible is great because it covers a wide range of stories from both the Old and New Testaments. The stories are typically a couple short pages long and are written with age-appropriate language and discretion. All the pages have colorful illustration.

For Young Readers

I asked my daughter what she loves about this Bible and she mentioned that she really likes to read the introductions of the books that talk about who wrote it and what was happening during those Bible times. She is often sharing “did you know?” facts that I don’t even know. It is just a really fun Bible.

At what age did you first buy your child a Bible? What are some of your family favorites?

meet: tim & stephanie hawkins

2011-09-22T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Tim and Stephanie Hawkins & Karen Brown

I am honored to have a guest post today by Tim & Stephanie Hawkins. Tim and Stephanie moved to Boston 6 years to start Sojourn Collegiate Ministry the same time our family moved here to launch REUNION. We have had the priviledge of watching them parent their 4 kids as well as nurture and disciple dozens and dozens of students...both young children and young adults. Tim is the Director of Sojourn Collegiate Ministry and Stephanie is a preschool teacher at Park Street Kids in downtown Boston. Tim and Stephanie are one of those couples that you just want to sit down with over coffee and pick their brains about their philosphy on parenting and child rearing. I asked them recently to give us some insight on what shapes their parenting style and some "best practices" that have worked in their family.

We do not compromise our values when we say that the child is more important than his conduct. Rather we affirm them at their deepest level. We dig down to bedrock and declare what is true. - Hold On To Your Kids, Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Mate

We were 25 when our first child was born and, over the following six years, we added three more to the clan. We did not start out with a particular philosophy or guiding vision of raising our kids except the constant prayer, “God, please keep us from screwing this up.”

It is still our prayer. And confession.

Though we wouldn’t have defined our parenting philosophy this way, it is a particular phrase in Neufeld and Mate’s book, Hold On to Your Kids, that has helped articulate what we value as a family:

To compensate for the cultural chaos of our times, we need to make a habit of collecting our children daily and repeatedly until they are old enough to function as independent beings.

We have come to realize that much of what we value as parents are rhythms and practices that help us collect our kids. And these are a reminder to dig beyond conduct, and affirm them at their deepest level, which for us is how God is shaping them for His Kingdom mission.

These are our favorite collecting places:

Books –Books give us a common language to talk about redemptive themes and the Kingdom of God. We read a wide variety of books that broaden our perspective on the world and what God is doing in it. Most recently we have been reading, Same Kind of Different as Me, by Ron Hall and Denver Moore.

Allowance - We give our kids allowance every two weeks and let them spend it any way they want (as long as it’s legal), including planning ahead for gifts. Beyond lessons about responsibility, allowance gives us a chance to talk about values and choices. Our kids have become great gift givers to one another.

Hospitality – Involving our kids in the preparations and responsibilities for hosting gives them more joy in the relationships they are building.

Travel – Mostly this is about having shared memories and stories to tell. “Remember when we…”

Prayer – Not just in the act of praying, but also talking (even just one-on-one) about how God is forming us as individuals through our prayer. It also allows prayer to bring God into the everyday, as we encounter disappointment, fear, worry, sadness, joy. Prayer is not just a matter of asking God for things, but models formation.

Storytelling – This happens daily in some way through something as simple as, “So do you want to know what happened to me today?” Over the years the stories have gotten more entertaining. Shared laughter strengthens the family bond (it’s the inside joke phenomenon).

Traditions – Although many of our traditions are associated with holidays, some are as simple as Ebelskiver Saturdays or watching a specific TV show together. Our traditions are the hands-on application of our family values.

Eating Out – We don’t do this everyday, but about once a week we break from the norm, free ourselves from the preparation and cleaning-up, to have significant time at the table together with nowhere to go and nothing to keep us busy except talking to one another.

Debriefing – Maybe one of the best pieces of advice we received from parents we respected was to, “Debrief everyday.” When we’re going 6 different directions during the day, it’s important to come re-center at the end of the day.

Thank you Tim & Stephanie for sharing your wisdom and insight! Parenting is the hardest job there is and you do it with such thoughtfulness, patience, and grace.

family rules

2011-09-19T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Karen Brown

I came across this awesome, amazing, totally adorable “Family Rules” poster via the blog Whatever. I may have squealed in delight, I love it that much.

from Alexander Creative

Of course, the ones Ryan Alexander has in his shop have beautiful sayings that really ring true. But, you can also customize one for your own family with your own rules or family mission statement or whatever you like. I may have to revisit the book Three Big Questions for Frantic Families and get our family mission statement on paper just so I can have one of these made. It's a book I highly recommend...review coming soon.

He also has artwork for marriage and kids and just some other cool sayings like this “What Defines Us” subway art print. These would make great gifts.

from Alexander Creative

And if you head over to Whatever, she has a giveaway for a free print. Love me a good giveaway!

Do you have a family mission statement? What does it include?

Embrace The Camera

2011-09-15T07:55:00.001-04:00

By Karen Brown

Hey moms out there...do you take pictures of yourself with your kids? I know you take pictures of the kiddos, but what about YOU with them? Novel concept, I know. If you are like me, you don’t shy away from documenting your kids and all their happenings. You even have quite a few pictures of the kids with their daddy...at least on outings and special occasions. But as for pics with the mommy, those are a rare.

I have so many excuses for why I’m not in the shot. Someone has to actually take the picture, I didn’t get to shower today, we all have such cheesy smiles when we have to pose the picture...the list goes on. But, after reading this post this post on embracing the camera, I am inspired actually get in a few pictures with my kids and see how it goes.

I want my family to remember our times together as they grow up. I want them to remember that we were silly together, went on adventures together and cuddled on the couch together. I want them to remember that our family wasn’t always picture perfect (because that’s real life), but that we loved each other a lot!

Here are some quick tips for getting in the picture:

• Try the self-timer on your camera
• Shoot a picture into the mirror, or anything reflective, for that matter. Hold the camera waist-high if you can.
• Hold the camera over your head, or out in front of you
• Give the camera to someone else, dare I say a kid, if you have to
• If you have a Mac, try Photobooth

And if you’re still need some encouragement to jump behind the lens, read this and see if it doesn’t change your mind!

Someone else took this one of me and Aiden.

Miles and I shot this one ourselves.

And someone else took this one of me and Owen.

Reunion in the DR

2011-09-14T08:42:00.000-04:00

The REUNION team is back from their trip to the Dominican Republic. Enjoy their story in pictures!

REUNION | Dominican Republic 2011 from Gerald on Vimeo.

Noonday

2011-09-12T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

You’ve heard about Fair Trade, right? It’s the system of paying farmers a fair price for things we use every day, like coffee, tea and sugar. It’s such an awesome initiative and one that we try to support as much as possible. I’ve often wished, though, that more products had that Fair Trade label. What about clothes and shoes, or things for our home, or even toys for the kids?

I stumbled upon the Noonday website recently. It sells Fair Trade jewelry, scarves, bags, sandals, home décor and other gifts. It’s a company started by a husband and wife after a visit to Uganda. They wanted to adopt a baby from there and brought home some locally made crafts to sell to help pay for their costly adoption. Their story is a beautiful one; you can read about it here. I especially love how they came up with the name for their company:

When you satisfy the needs of the oppressed, your night will become like the noonday. Isaiah 58:10

The items in their store are beautiful. Many of these would make really lovely gifts. Here are some that caught my eye.

Kampana with Love necklace $38

Tague seed bracelet $28

Patchwork Clutch $34

Salad servers $24

Wouldn’t it be awesome if our kids grew up knowing what Fair Trade was? If, over dinner, we talked about oppression and treating each other fairly? If we had conversations about how they could be vehicles for change in our world?

Do you shop Fair Trade? What are your favorite website, stores or products?

Grandparent's Day

2011-09-08T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

Did you even know there was such a day? A recent trip to the card store enlightened me to the holiday this Sunday, September 11.

Here's the story:

“Back in 1970, Marian McQuade, a West Virginia housewife, came up with the idea of a day set aside to encourage families to visit their elderly relatives. With a firm resolve to make it happen, she began lobbying policymakers. McQuade got through to her Senators, Jennings Randolph and Robert Byrd, who introduced a resolution to make Grandparents Day a national holiday. It took a while to reach the White House, but finally, in 1978, the resolution declaring National Grandparents Day as the first Sunday after Labor Day, was signed into law by President Jimmy Carter.” Read more here.

I wish our children lived close enough to their grandparents to visit them for Grandparent’s Day. Since we don’t, we’ll be sending our sentiments across the miles. I imagine the kids will make some handmade cards, but here are some ideas from around the web that might be fun to add to our package.

Embroidered pillow found via One Pretty Thing

image from Vickie Howell

I love the idea of having the kids draw a picture of a favorite memory with their grandparents and then embroidering their design. If a pillow isn’t your style, this would be really cute on a tea towel.

Silhouettes found via Design Sponge

image courtesy of Design Sponge

I love this modern take on traditional silhouettes. This would be a fun alternative to a portrait of the kids.

My favorite idea of all though would be to start a new tradition to celebrate with this generation; something my children will remember for years to come. Maybe we’ll talk the grandparents through how to set up a Skype account and then set up a time to talk each week. Or maybe we’ll have each of the children pick a topic and then ask grandpa and grandma to tell them a story about when they were growing up - going to school, living on a farm, favorite family vacation, etc.

Do you celebrate Grandparents’ Day? Does your family have any special traditions to honor grandparents?

Creation: Preschool Style

2011-09-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

by Karen Brown

Around here, this week is back-to-school week. While my two oldest will be gone all day, I will be trying to come up with ideas to keep my little guy engaged and learning.

When my other two were preschoolers, one of the things I did that they absolutely loved was assign themes to each week. We then planned activities accordingly to reinforce what I was trying to teach. We started with a week loosely based on each day of creation.

So for example, when we were talking about ocean animals God made we: visited the aquarium, went to the beach and saw baby sea turtles, glued seashells together and added googlie eyes to make our own “animals”, drew pictures of animals in the ocean with crayons and then painted over with watercolors, the kids earned ocean animal silly bands for good behavior, painted wood sea creatures from the dollar section at Michael’s, checked out books from the library on sea creatures and we may have watched Finding Nemo a few times. The emphasis was always on who made the animals, “Kids, who made this Loggerhead turtle? Yes, God made the turtle!”

Other ideas for weeks could be:

Day 1: Earth, Day & Night
• Shadow play with flashlights

• Glow-in-the-dark paint
• Homemade sand playdough

Day 2: Skies with Water Below
• Talk about the globe or play with globe “beach balls”
• Water play (we made a pvc “water park”), water ballons, go swimming
• Lay on your back and make animals out of the clouds

Day 3: Sea, Grass, Plants & Trees
• Trip to the plant nursery or arboretum
• Apple or berry picking at an orchard
• Leaf rubbings
• Rake & jump in the leaves
• Plant wheat grass indoors & watch it sprout in just a few days

Day 4: Sun, Moon & Stars
• Phases of the moon chart
• Rhymes like “I see the moon & the moon sees me”
• Make constellations on the ceiling with glow in the dark stars

Day 5: Birds & Sea Creatures
• Visit a petstore and check out the fish and birds up close
• Visit the aquarium or the tidepools
• Art using craft feathers
• Go fishing

Day 6: Land Animals & People

• Trace the outline of the kid’s bodies, make handprint art
• Trip to the zoo
• Bake cookies with gingerbread men shaped cookie cutters & decorate
• Check out animals books from the library or the video series Planet Earth

This way of teaching your kids is really only limited by your creativity and imagination. Have fun with it and don’t take yourself too seriously.

What are your favorite ways to teach your children?

The “Great Sin” of Pride

2011-09-02T09:56:00.000-04:00

By Nicholle Winger

Why do we put down our kids?

Is that a rough way to start this post? Perhaps you’re sitting there wondering where this is going.

Maybe you’ve never let words slip out that you wished you could take back. But I doubt it. This weekend, I overheard criticism toward a child several times, by a mom, a grandma, a dad. It really annoyed me. I noticed the child looked sad when told he was eating too much junk food. Another time, he played along and made fun of himself by grabbing his belly. The offending parties weren’t trying to be mean. No, I think they were attempting to be instructive. In their hearts, they thought they were teaching. I know they love this child. They don’t want him to overeat. They don’t want him to be made fun of at school. They want him to be healthy, active, and happy. But does the child know that? I remember feeling like that growing up. My mom would say something that hurt my feelings, usually related to how much I was eating and the way my body looked. It probably sounded harmless and helpful to her ears,

“If you stand up straighter, your tummy wouldn’t stick out so much.”

“Your skin would look so much nicer if you’d wear more makeup.”

“You know bagels have a lot of carbs. Maybe you should choose fruit.”

Did I think my mom loved me? Sure, I guess. I also knew I wasn’t good enough.

This is along the same lines of what I heard said to a little boy last weekend. It made me mad. It made me recall what my mom had said to me and, consequently, feel sorry for myself for a minute. But then I started to wonder, “Do I do this too? Does it bother me so much because I do it in my life?”

I realized this all relates back to the immense problem of pride. In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis claims pride as the “the great sin” and goes on to describe it as, “…no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.” No. I would never hurt my kids with words. Would I? It made me think.

Sometimes when people compliment my kids, I feel the need to qualify it with something my child does bad. The exchange might go something like this,

“Wow, Sally reads well. What a smart little girl.”

I could say, “Thank you.”

Instead, I say, “Yes, she does like to read. She’s also extremely dramatic. We deal with a lot of tears in our house.”

(Insert a sigh here that conveys I’m such a tired, hard-working mom.)

What does this say about me? Surely my response has something to do with my issues and not my daughter’s. What did that exchange sound like to my daughter’s ears? How many times have I said it? Am I damaging her? I don’t mean to. I do want her to toughen up. I do want her to be a strong teenager one day and then a tough woman. I think I’m instructing/teaching, but really am I labeling/wounding?

I think back to that boy from last weekend. Shouldn’t we be asking why he’s eating so much? Maybe there is a reason. Maybe he’s hungry. Maybe he’s sad. If we look closer, we might find that this little boy is going through some tough stuff at home. Is he over eating because it comforts him? I don’t know. I’m not a psychologist. But why don’t we ask these questions instead of jumping in and pointing our well-meaning fingers? Why do I roll my eyes and call my daughter dramatic instead of asking her what is causing her to cry and overreact? Maybe it’s me. Or maybe she’s just having a rough day. It’s worth a shot. At least she would feel heard and know that I love her regardless. If I don’t stop to listen now, will she talk to me when she gets older?

The tendency to criticize our children without listening or asking can also be tied back to pride. Lewis goes on later and writes, “As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

As a mom, a big chunk of my day is spent instructing, teaching, directing, and disciplining. If I’m looking down on my children to do these things (admittedly, they are shorter than me for now), I better be sure to check in with God first. I bet His way is better than mine.

meet kelly hubert, part 2

2011-09-01T03:00:00.002-04:00

Read more about Kelly in Part 1 of our series.
Here's the rest of her interview. Enjoy!

If you had a short list of must-read books, what would they be?
Holding onto Hope, by Nancy Guthrie. This is a sad yet inspiring story about the struggles of losing a child. The author relates her journey to that of Job’s. It brought perspective to my situation and encouraged me to stand by what I believe in.

Where do you find inspiration and encouragement for raising your family?
This may sound very strange, but I find a lot of my inspiration and encouragement from other families who are going through difficult or scary times with their own children. Having an unspoken understanding of what someone is going through is comforting to me. I’m the type of person who wants to make everything okay for everyone. When I hear a story of a family experiencing difficult time, it inspires me to want to better our foundation in hopes of helping someone else out.

I also find a lot of encouragement when I see other’s generosity. It’s not always monetary generosity; it’s the generosity of other’s encouraging words that inspires me to keep doing what we are doing. It’s hard to always know what to say to someone who is going through a difficult time. When people offer kind words or share that they are praying for Liv and my family, I’m extremely touched. There are a lot of really good people in this world who want to help others. When people give time, money, or encouragement, I’m deeply touched and humbled.

Are there any family traditions that you embrace that are especially meaningful to you?
Family gatherings are always important to us. We love to celebrate birthdays and holidays with our families. We live about 3 hours away from our immediate family, so any time we get together it really means a lot. Something that I’m very excited about is homemade Christmas. This is something that is brand new in our family, but I hope it carries on from year to year. For the adult gift giving, we typically buy a male and female gift. We then draw numbers, and choose gifts, with the option of taking one that has already been opened. This past year, the ladies chose to do homemade gifts. The same process of drawing numbers and taking other people’s open gifts remained, but getting something homemade was so special. We have talented women on both sides of my family, so getting something from any of them is a true gift! It was so much fun and so memorable!

Tell us about your spiritual formation.
My spiritual formation is going to sound so typical and an answer that probably everyone gives. My spiritual formation has been nothing but growth. I say that because, when I was younger, I didn’t really feel comfortable in church. I just didn’t know my place. I was afraid to ask questions and, at one time, didn’t feel welcome. It wasn’t until I was married that I felt like I had direction and focus with my spiritual formation. Jake has really been who I’ve leaned on when growing in my faith. The church that we attend now has also really helped in my understanding and growth.

My children are still so young that we haven’t had to answer any questions from them, yet. I try to teach my kids how important it is to thank our Lord for the blessings in our life. Livia definitely knows what prayer, church, and the Bible are. Finley is now starting to say some of the prayers that we say to her; she’ll even remind us to pray at dinner before we eat. Making prayer a part of our routine has helped with teaching our girls to put God first in whatever we do.

meet: Kelly Hubert, part 1

2011-08-30T03:00:00.002-04:00

Kelly Hubert is a country girl who currently lives in northern Illinois with her never-a-dull-moment husband, Jake, and their two girls Livia Grace (4) and Finley Faith (2). In addition to being a mom, her other jobs include Pilates instructor and childcare provider at the local YMCA, foundation Creator and President, and blogger. She is most passionate about her family, her faith journey, running/exercising, creating/crafting, and their Foundation.

Her story is pretty much like anyone else’s - she grew up happy and dreamed of marriage and a family. Everything seemed to fall into place like she hoped it would - she married a great guy, they both had good jobs, they were raising two little girls. And then they received news every parent dreads – their daughter, Livia, was diagnosed with a terminal, un-treatable genetic disorder called Sanfilippo Syndrome. She prayed, looked for more information and then took action, creating Liv Life Foundation. Through it, she hopes to spread awareness and raise funds for research, and she wants to help others facing similar battles. The Foundation has given a purpose to her pain, allowing her to do what she believes God set out for her to accomplish.

How are you using your strengths to bless your family? The ability to recognize my uniqueness and that who I am as a person contributes to this world in a positive way blesses my family, especially my kiddos. It has taken me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I have a unique perspective on life that has given me focus and determination to do good. I want my girls to grow up loving themselves for who they are, to live their lives pleasing no one but God. I also recognize that one of my strengths is the time and care I put into my family. Because my family is my priority, I know how important it is to take time for myself. This time enables me to take care of myself, which in turn, makes me a better mom and wife. Living a healthy lifestyle contributes to the all around well-being of this family.

What do you wish you were better at?

Praying. This is something hard for me to admit. I’ve struggled with this for a long time. I pray, but I don’t feel like I pray enough. I catch myself praying when things are bad, but not when they are good. I need to offer praise and not always pray for help or forgiveness. We all have busy lives - putting the Lord first, keeping my kids and hubby happy, doctor’s appointments, running a foundation, training for a marathon, and on and on. What helps influence our success as a Christian parent is how we choose to respond to the busy-ness and how we prioritize things.

Describe your perfect day

My perfect day would start out with my house being clean and picked up, coffee made, and blueberry pancakes with my kids and hubby. Then, I would get my run in and shower in peace. I’d then be kid-free for a bit, have lunch with girlfriends and do a little shopping (OK…A LOT, if this is my perfect day!). Mani, pedi, and massage with my sister. Then meet up with Jake and the girls for some dinner at a hibachi restaurant.

Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day? If so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos?
Absolutely! Truth be told, surviving the day is definitely crucial. However, having goals and dreams for a bright future help with that survival. I feel like I’ve been given “new eyes” for our future. Having a glimpse of what our future looks like with Livia has given us a new perspective on what life and everyday living should look like. My vision for my family, which helps in the chaos, has taught me not to sweat the small stuff and to teach my children to the best of my ability. The rest will be up to them. My vision may not be the same as what they will want for themselves. I pray that they will make the right choices and become contributing members of our society and live a life serving our Lord. I want our family to be a giving family. I hope our family, and our story will help others find encouragement, God, and hope.

Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?

Any opportunity that I get to teach my children why we are here or why the grass is green and give all the credit to our Savior, I take it. My kids are at the age where every word I tell them is something they believe to be true. Having that foundation of faith within myself, and with my husband, has helped foster that faith formation in my children. We attend church on a regular basis and we pray together as a family at meals and before bedtime.

Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?

A schedule. We thrive on our daily routines. My kids like the routines, and they know what to expect. They are also at an age where, if that routine is broken, they won’t break. My kids still nap, but if we make plans to go somewhere or do something out of the routine it still works. Like I said before, I take some time for myself every day. Join a local gym or YMCA that offers daycare. Exercising to start my day only makes the rest of my day go better. There’s something to say about endorphins! They are my drug of choice! J

I don’t feel bad about turning on the TV or putting in a movie if something HAS to get done. My girls get my attention for the majority of the day, so if I need to clean something, fold some laundry, or fill out some paperwork, I do it! I’ve found that procrastinating over things that need to get done only makes things worse.

Ask for help. This is something that I really struggle with! It’s something that I should have included in the question above. Especially having a child with special needs, I find it hard to ask others for help with anything. I don’t want to burden anyone OR have to explain why my child isn’t potty trained or why she doesn’t sit still. Delegating anything is hard for me. Maybe it’s a control thing, but I really think it’s more of the latter. I have learned that my spouse is my ally in this thing called life. He and my family are my support system.

Read part 2 of her interview on Thursday

Craft Hope: Christmas in Dixie

2011-08-29T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Karen Brown

You may remember being introduced to Craft Hope a while back. Its mission is “to share handmade crafts with those who need them."

"It is our hope to combine our love for crafting and desire to help others into a project to make a difference around the world,” the organization says.

Well, they have a new project called Christmas in Dixie. Christmas in Dixie aims to “provide handmade stockings for the 12,000 families that lost everything to tornadoes this year. Yes, 12,000 families that will not be pulling the Christmas ornaments and decorations out of their attic. 12,000 families that have to build their lives again. We know we cannot do everything, but we can do little things. And these little things make a BIG difference.

In addition to having nothing, these families will face new needs that this season will bring, such as winter clothing, funds for heating, and gifts for their family members or in addition to the everyday needs they now face. There are groups helping supply toys for tots, churches help with clothing and food, even the Government will help somewhat. But no one will be concerned with these items that help form the traditions, and memories that we all remember as we grow up. We can only imagine how worry will begin to creep into the back of many moms’ minds, realizing Christmas is just around the corner and once again they will be reminded of those items that mean so much, like ornaments handmade through the years, pictures with Santa, and their own personal stocking being lost and gone for ever” (excerpt from the Craft Hope website).

If you like to sew or knit, consider making stockings this fall for those in need. This act would be a wonderful example of giving and love that you can share with your children and family as they watch you create. Maybe even get your kids involved in the project, like letting them pick fabric, cut out patterns, or pack the stockings in boxes.

The deadline for this project is Sept 23, 2011. Check out the website for more details.

Book Review: Stupid Things Parents Do To Mess Up Their Kids

2011-08-26T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

I’ve been down on myself lately and I picked up this book from the library thinking that perhaps it would encourage me in my parenting skills. I know a little about Dr. Laura Schlessinger, enough to trust her opinion.

Some things included in her stupid list are: neglect, irresponsible conception, lack of discipline, indulgence, and distractions. Each thing gets its own chapter and all of them are consistent with Biblical beliefs. Even though Dr. Laura is Jewish, she firmly supports a Christian worldview, conservative thought, and the importance of faith in a family setting. She cites articles, gives statistics, and quotes callers from her radio show. And she backs up the reasons why all of these things are, indeed, stupid. I found her data to be disturbing but not surprising.

I am glad I read this book. I found it to be a quick read and I came away from it feeling like my own intentions in parenting are not stupid at all. (They’re also not perfect, but I’m grateful that Dr. Laura would probably not find them toxic to my children.) I highly recommend this book specifically to new parents. Especially to new parents who were raised by parents who may have done some stupid things themselves.

that's just how god made it

2011-08-25T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

My kids are little and, like most kids their age, full of questions. If I had a nickel for every time a little one asked me “why,” I would be a rich woman. Don’t get me wrong, I learn best myself by asking questions. I get why they do the asking. It’s just that, at times, my answer doesn’t seem to be quite good enough.

It tends to go something like this.

Them: “Why do giraffe’s have long necks?”

Me: “So they can reach high up and into trees to get the leaves they like to eat.”

Them: “But why?”

Me: “Because sometimes that’s the only place there are still leaves left after other, shorter animals have eaten.”

Them: “But why?” (following me around asking again and again and again)

Me: silent (now frustrated and wondering myself why giraffes have such long necks)

But behold, our family has an answer that seems to leave everyone satisfied and at peace. It is an answer that was given once by one of my kids’ babysitters. Are you ready? The response is... “That’s just how God made them.” Seriously, it works like a charm. So simple, huh? And I hear my kids giving this response quite often when others ask them questions they may not have answers to. It always cracks me up when I hear my three-year-old answer his own question with, “that’s just how God made them, right?” I love it! Try it next time your kids have a question. It even works on husbands sometimes too.

treasuring God in our traditions

2011-08-23T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

I first came across the book Treasuring God in our Traditions on the blog Under the Sycamore. Since the blog always has such wonderful ideas and ways to make God real to kids, I thought the book would be worth checking out. (So is the blog, by the way.)

One of the things that really resonated with me when reading this book was the way the author hoped to instill traditions in her children that drew them closer to God. The ways they celebrated events and traditions as a family would remind them of God’s hand in their lives. The author, Noel Piper, used the word infiltrate; infiltrate our lives with God. It got me excited thinking about the ways our family can intentionally incorporate the Gospel into everyday routines and activities.

The book offers many practical suggestions for encompassing tradition into both everyday life and special occasions like Christmas and Easter. It also challenges the reader to evaluate traditions and customs we currently subscribe to. Some traditions are worth keeping and handing down to future generations, while others may need a little reworking in order to have Christ at the center. The purpose of traditions, in the author’s own words, is “remembering what God did for His people, giving glory to God for what He’s done and so our children and their children will know Him.” (pg. 103)

This book feels like one of those I will reread as my children continue to grow and mature. My hope is that our family traditions will be ones my children will look back on fondly as some of the ways they most grew in Christian growth and were nurtured. You can get your copy of the book here.

HELLO, LIBRARY? THIS IS TODDLER! LET’S BE FRIENDS! How To Enjoy Your Library With Your Little One

2011-08-22T03:00:00.001-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

One of the silliest things I did as a new mother was take my two month old to check out children’s books at my local library branch. I took them home, and read them to her. I had seen it in every parenting magazine that reading to you child, even your infants was important.

Honestly? After the first book, I felt ridiculous. Babies that small don’t need books. Instead, I talked non-stop to her (to develop those language skills) and we waited until she was a bit older to go to the library.

When my baby became a toddler, and had a baby sister, we went back. This time the purpose was to bring picture books home, look over them repeatedly and take them back to discover new favorites.

I knew, with time, that this would instill in my little girls a love of books and an interest in the world around them and hopefully make them life-long readers. We’ve gone to the same branch---with the same librarians---for the last eleven years and it’s become an extension of our home in some ways. The very goals that were mentioned in those parenting magazines are met: my kids are enthusiastic readers.

How does one start at the library? How does one go from first-time visitor to old friend?

1. Make the library a habit. The same day every week, or once every two weeks. Your toddlers will grow in their affection for books, the outing and time with you!

2. Bring A Bag. It is tricky to juggle a child, a purse, a stroller and a pile of books. Besides, you always check out more than you think you will. My personal record is 88 books. And I have two huge canvas bags.

3. Chat with the children’s librarian. It is her job to help you find with you need. If you have a good relationship with her, then you will get the most out of your library experience.

4. Start slowly. Toddlers only need two or three board books checked out at each visit. Don’t force their interests; let them develop naturally.

5. Look for books about those pet subjects. My daughter has checked out all the wildcat books dozens of times, even the ones that were too hard for her to read. My son did the same for the penguin books. This makes their library time more positive, allows for them to think about books as familiar friends and encourages them in their reading when they’re ready.

6. Have a plan, like alphabetically. Kids’ picture books are often alphabetized by the author’s last name. Start with the first five book that begin with A. Move on to the Bs when you’re ready.

7. Or, concentrate on one author per month. You can’t go wrong with H. A. Rey, Lois Ehlert, Steven Kellogg, Rosemary Wells, Margaret Wise Brown, Robert McCloskey, Chris Van Allsburg, Eric Carle, Virgina Lee Burton, Jan Brett, Don Freeman, and James Marshall. There are hundreds of great authors out there. If you need more suggestions, try Amazon.

8. Take Your Time. Rushing adds to stress, stress often makes noise. Libraries are supposed to be peaceful. If your visits are peaceful, then that will remind your child that this is a positive experience.

9. Limit the DVDs. That’s the first thing my kids want to check out, but I am always reluctant to do so. The main reason is that they are due in a week, while the rest of our books are due back in three weeks. This little fact had caused me to pay far too many fines because I forgot to renew the DVDs. I also want for my kids to see the library as a place for their minds. The latest Spongebob DVD doesn’t do much for that.

10. Check out the events. Libraries put a lot of energy into book discussions, story hour, lecturers, art shows, and kids programs. Take advantage of them. You’ll meet people, learn more about your community---and most of the time, they’re free!

11. Take advantage of online catalogs. Loved The Very Hungry Caterpillar but can’t find The Very Grumpy Ladybug on the shelf? A library’s online catalog is often system wide and can get titles for you to be held at your local branch. This is one of my favorite tools for educating my children.

12. And, get something for yourself! If your child sees you read, they will be far more likely to follow in your footsteps.

Now, thirteen years later after that first trip, all five of my children love going to library. They have their favorite titles and their favorite librarians. And all of them have a love of good books.

Why I’m Thankful For My Daughter’s Allergy

2011-08-17T03:00:00.003-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

My 13-year-old daughter has lived her entire life allergic to dairy. This means that she can’t have milk, but she also can’t have ice cream, sour cream, cheese, items that are cheese flavored, whey, milk fat, milk chocolate, and butter. Her reactions include discomfort in her mouth, a closing in of her throat, and nausea. She has to miss out on a lot of things because of this problem, and we’re hoping she grows out of it, but while we have it to deal with, I feel like it’s changed my family and I for the better. Here’s why.

I’ve become a better cook. I find that by preparing everything we eat from scratch, I can guarantee that she will not react to it. I’ve learned to bake bread, make salad dressing, substitute ingredients, and stretch myself to meet her needs. As a result, we eat very well, ingest few preservatives and additives, and save money. This is a good thing

I’ve become a mean Momma Bear. My daughter depends on me to help her discern whether or not the well-intentioned neighbor with the plate of cookies can be trusted. Sadly, I’ve had to risk the feelings of friends because I can’t allow her to eat certain foods, like birthday cake at a party. If my kid reacts badly, then I always have to step in and protect her, regardless of the feelings of the other person. Sometimes the baker of the cookies understands the situation, but unfortunately, sometimes they don’t and I risk losing a friend. But my child comes first. My daughter feels protected because of my diligence.

I’ve learned not to assume anything. Labels on grocery items tell you everything nowadays, and I’m grateful that I can find out quickly if an item is okay for her to eat. Who knew that nacho cheese Doritos actually have cheese in them? And who knew that guacamole is dairy free, but guacamole dip isn’t? I’ve also learned to appreciate those adults around me, who in preparing food for her, take the time to do this.

I’ve learned to be discreet---at least I hope I have. She doesn’t want special attention over this, nor does she want to feel left out when everyone else goes out for pizza. I’ve had to learn delicacy and diplomacy in communicating her needs to others. I’ve not always succeeded in this, but I have tried and communicating is becoming easier.

Our family sticks by her. If she can’t buy ice cream from the truck at the park, then no one can. The whole family has taken ownership of her situation and helps her whenever they can. They also get very excited when someone offers them cheese!

I’m more compassionate toward health issues. Until my daughter’s allergy was discovered, I stupidly thought that food allergies were bids for attention or figments of imagination. Now I know they’re not and I’ve learned to ask parents about their child’s needs. I’m also grateful that we only have to avoid dairy -- it really isn’t so bad. A wheat allergy or a severe peanut one would be horrible.

She has learned thankfulness. Recently, she wondered, “why would anyone dislike any type of food? You should be grateful that you can eat what you can.” This allergy has made her wise.

Every dark cloud has a silver lining. I’ve decided not to complain about, but embrace, this one instead. We’re making our lives work just fine around this dairy allergy and we’re doing just fine.

Are you facing allergies with your children? How are you handling it?

little dresses

2011-08-15T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Karen Brown

Last year I came across an organization called Little Dresses for Africa; they make dresses for little girls living in orphanages in Africa. The dresses are simple, just crafted from pillowcases and bias tape. The dresses help show girls that they are worthy and loved by God, planting that message in their hearts.

As our mission team at REUNION made plans last year to head out for the Dominican Republic to serve and build relationships with the people of La Mosca, several of the women in our community thought it might be fun to make these dresses to send along for the little girls there. I had read here how others had a party to make dresses for African orphans. We were inspired…so we had a party, sewed some dresses and had a lot of fun in the process. Even people from our community who couldn’t attend the party made dresses on their own to send along as well.

Our team set out again this month to love on the Dominican people. Once more, we joined together in making dresses to send along. It’s one small way those of us not going on the trip can be a part of the big picture.

Here’s a highlight video from the 2010 trip.
Here's where you can read more about REUNION in the Dominican Republic
Here's where you can find out more information on Little Dresses for Africa

it takes a village

2011-08-11T03:00:00.001-04:00

By Michelle Berman

There is a very famous saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Kitschy or not, I think it’s true.

I am friends with a married couple who have six children. For most of these children’s lives, I was the only baby sitter/caretaker they knew. My friends entrusted me to care for their children. They taught their children to respect me and to listen to me. Over the years, I grew to model my disciplinary choices based on the behavior that these parents were teaching their children. Initially, I was unsure of what to say or how to care for these little ones. I grew up differently than the way they were raising these children. Inevitably, I disagreed with some of their methods or ways, but out of respect, I did what they desired because I knew they were training up their children in the way THEY thought they should go. Not in the way I would have them go. I knew my chance would come one day when I had my own children.

I will always be thankful for those moments of instruction I was able to provide for the kids, in something that they could do in a better way, because talking through things is my method. I would look up and watch their mom watching me and smiling, knowing I was imparting Godly wisdom to her children. It made me so happy to know that someday, this would be me with my children. I would like to imagine that she also thought she was letting me hone my parenting skills on her children.

Some bits of wisdom I took away from my time with this family and others were these:

1. Let other caretakers - family members and friends - in on your “big picture”. If they are to partner with you in your method of Godly upbringing, they will want to know that you don’t want the kids to watch Harry Potter, even though another parent in their circle may have no problem with it. Each parent has a different philosophy on how to raise their children. Each way is right. We want to respect that, but we won’t know unless you tell us.

2. Caretakers will want to impart some of their wisdom to your children. Let them. God is bringing these people into your children’s lives for a reason. Grandma may have a story of sharing that will speak to your little one in a way that is new. This does not detract from your discipline. It could also serve as an instructional tool later on... “Remember how Grandma taught you it is better to share? Well, she was right, wasn’t she?”

3. Keep them in the loop. A few days ago, I got a text message from one of the other kids I used babysit for. It said “Hi. This is Aiden. I miss you.” I haven’t seen the Browns in over a year. I am not a caretaker anymore. I may never be again to these sweet children, but I still have a connection to them and always will. As a parent, you need to understand that, insomuch as you have an intimate bond to the life you brought into this world, a caretaker will have a bond as well. It will not be as strong or the same, but it is still there. It is important to nurture these relationships. As your children become adults they will look back with fondness on the impact these caretakers made in their lives. I recently reconnected with a caretaker from my childhood. I remember very little about my time with her, but I do remember she loved me and invested time with me. It makes me so happy to know someone did that for me. Your children will not remember every person that passes through their life, but they will remember their caretakers.

Keep in mind, too, that you are a caretaker of sorts. This child is not yours ultimately, but a child of the King. You are but the chief of this village… enjoy your reign, and thanks for letting the villagers into your life.

soul surfer

2011-08-10T03:00:00.001-04:00

By Julie Wilson

Poster from Wikipedia

The other night our family watched the movie, Soul Surfer. It is a true story about a young woman who loves to surf. She lives in Hawaii, a perfect place for surfing to be a major part of her life. But after a shark attack changes her life forever, she is faced with a lot of questions.

Her faith in God is presented throughout the movie, as well as her family’s belief in God. After the attack, she is faced with the question, “Why?” She asks her youth minister why God allowed this attack to happen to her. How many times have we asked God that same question when faced with something terrible or something that we don’t understand?

This young woman, Bethany, has to find her purpose again. Before her attack she lived to surf, but you see throughout the movie how she changes. She goes on a mission trip and realizes there is more to life than just being a good surfer.

After the movie, we had a great discussion with our children. We talked about how Bethany’s faith helped her get through the most difficult challenge she had ever faced. We also talked about how God can take something terrible and use it for His glory.

I will say as a disclaimer, our girls ages 7 and 9 did turn away and not watch the part with the shark attack. We were being cautious, and we didn’t want them to be afraid. Overall though, we highly recommend the movie, it was a great starting point to have a discussion with our kids about how God gives us the strength to help us work through our fears and challenges.

How I Tamed My Wandering Mind With A Timer

2011-08-09T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

Back in ’96, I was a new bride and my apartment had a problem. It was full of shiny objects.

These weren’t literal shiny objects, they were actually things that distracted me from my domestic work. Like a good book. Like a good magazine. Like a cooking show on Food Network. Like some intricate daydream that might become a novel or short story. Like calling my mother, or checking the mail, or my e-mail, or giving myself a manicure. My life was full of little things that kept me from my job of maintaining an orderly house.

My highly distractable (and possibly attention deficit) personality was a bad fit for domestic life. The dishes weren’t getting washed. The laundry wasn’t getting done. The vacuum cleaner was covered in dust.

To make matters worse, I married Mr. Clean. He came from a long line of clean “freaks”, who scoured every surface, had a place for every scrap of paper and never owned a “junk” drawer. He couldn’t understand that I had the concentration of a goldfish.

I had to do something to make my living space more sanitary and enjoyable and to make my Mr. Clean happy. The solution was my microwave timer. At first, I decided to set a small goal---five minutes on a task, like washing the dishes. I could work for five minutes and then spend a little time on my favorite things and go back. The timer on my microwave became the alarm, and I figured if anything else, it would go off and bring me back to the real world. Hey, what’s that alarm mean? Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be dusting! But the timer did more than that. It made me feel less overwhelmed and less intimidated by mindless tasks. And because I rewarded myself every five minutes, I felt like my stuff, (the writing, the reading and the general goofing off) was addressed, too.

After weeks of this, I graduated to ten minutes, but I’ve found I can’t go for much longer than that---I start to mentally drift. That’s OK. Every ten minutes, I’m getting things done. In fact, I’m working faster and more efficiently. If the timer went off with only a small bit left to do, say three or four dishes to wash, I just wash them and get the job done. I had never wanted to accomplish great domestic feats, but this system changed me. I was becoming more organized and more disciplined with my time.

I also discovered that most domestic chores can be done in less than ten minutes. Like the following:

•Sort the laundry and start one load.
•Fold one basket of clothing.
•Clean the bathroom.
•Vacuum one room in my house.
•Dust one room in my house.
•Clean out the refrigerator.
•Unload the dishwasher and fill it again.
•Wipe all the kitchen counters and sweep the floor.
•Compile a shopping list.
•Start (but not complete) dinner.

This isn’t an exhaustive list. There are many more tasks around the house that, if broken down in small chunks, can be done every other ten minutes. If I stay focused on these little tasks, for ten minutes at a time, then I’ve only worked an hour and a half. I have the rest of the day to do what I need to do for myself for my family.

If I have a lengthy list, things like call for dental appointments, or write an article or go to the library, I break it down into the smallest tasks possible, enlist the help of my children and keep setting my timer.

To this day, fifteen years after setting my timer for the first time, I still work this way. I wrote this article in ten-minute increments between cleaning my kitchen, dusting my living room, making meatballs, organizing my desk and folding three loads of laundry. This system works for me, and my much-busier household. By setting my timer, I find that I’m faster, happier and a better housekeeper.

Not everyone can do this. Many people have the natural inclination to stay focused, or like Mr. Clean, are so driven they don’t need a timer or reminder to get back to work. And some people would say that for all the energy I put into setting timers, I could have cleaned out the house five times, but that’s not the point. The point is that I found a weakness in how I work and I also found a solution. Wait, is that the ice cream truck???

This works for me. It could work for you.

Do you have attention problems around the house? What do you do to keep yourself focused?

A tip for making baby food: ice cube trays

2011-08-08T03:00:00.001-04:00

By Anna Hamman

I realize baby food and feeding in general are often sensitive topics; organic vs. non-organic, breast milk vs. formula, store-bought vs. homemade. I also realize that different things work well for different people, and that all children, families and budgets are different. I am, therefore, not about to proclaim that this is the right way or “the answer.” This is just a tip that helped me.

I decided that from the beginning I would like to make the majority of my baby food when my baby started eating solids. It worked out to be cheaper for us and I hoped it would be somewhat healthier for her. I do not love to cook, however, so I wanted to find an efficient way of doing it. Someone gave me the tip of steaming vegetables and fruit, blending them to make purees in bulk, and then freezing them in ice cube trays. After they are frozen, you then empty the frozen blocks into zip lock bags or containers and label them to go back in the freezer.

Each time my daughter had a meal I would microwave defrost one or two of those blocks, and there you have it: a meal that’s healthy.

Now I tend to make new purees in bulk once every two weeks when we run out of food or variety. She still has fresh things in between and snacks like yogurt and crackers but her dinner comes from these frozen blocks. When she gets more teeth we will continue to move on to chewier and more solid items.

I think this system helped me feel more organized and was simple for me. What kinds of ideas help you get organized with baby and toddler food? Do you have simple healthy recipes for babies or toddlers? Please share.

The language of a princess

2011-08-04T03:00:00.004-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

Perhaps I am just tired. I did have my fifth baby at 38. Perhaps I’ve gotten lazy, thinking that my vast mothering experience will make everything easier. Or perhaps my suspicions are correct, that my youngest child, my beautiful blonde, blue-eyed daughter was the biggest challenge I ever faced as a parent.

I’ve kidded that if you took all the willfulness of the previous four children, put it in a pot and cooked it down until it was concentrated, you still would not get the willfulness of my fifth. Perhaps it’s best that she was last. If she were first, she may have been the only.

All the others napped until they were four. She stopped at eighteen months. All the others read early, she doesn’t want to try. When I turned on my mean mom voice and said, “Come to me this instant!” all the other children obeyed. She was the one that took off running. All the others were convinced that getting an M&M for tinkling on the potty was a great bargain. She sighed, rolled her eyes and said, “Do I have to? I did this yesterday.”

The terrible twos are to expected with every child. This is when a toddler realizes that they are an independent entity from their parents and that the world is a great place to explore. With my daughter, however, things didn’t calm down when she turned three. Nor did they improve at four. Her vocabulary just got bigger and her demands got louder and I was, far more frequently than with the other children, at my wit’s end with her behavior.

I know how to do this, I would think. Why does she give me so much trouble?

One summer morning, during our habit of reading a book, the battle between my daughter and I started again and I very nearly gave up. If God had not intervened and given me practical ideas on how to manage her, I don’t know what would have happened.

We had a stack of books to read on the porch. She sat next to me on the steps and sat through the first one pretty well - just a few interruptions and no more wiggling than I would expect in a four-year-old.

I let her choose the next book; she chose The Very Noisy Cricket. The novelty of this book is that in the back flap there is an actual cricket sound that ties in with the story. I opened the first page to read and she put her hands on the book.

“No!” She demanded. “Go to the back!”

“No!” I said calmly. “We’re going to read the book together, then when we get to the end, then, we’ll hear the cricket.”

“No! I don’t want to do it that way!”

“Yes. This is the way we’re going to do it. If you want to read with me, you will listen to the story first.”

“NO!” She yanked the book out of my hands and flipped it to the end of the book.

“What are you doing? You will not act this way!” I took the book from her. Her requests were not unreasonable, but her manner and her disrespectful tone with me were so out of line, I could not, under any circumstances, allow her to get her way.

"I WANT THE BOOK!” Now, she was red in the face and screaming. She stood up and jumped up and down.

“No! You are done. You will not get the book. You are going into the house right now!” I grabbed one of her hands to lead her into the house; she fought me the whole way. “I want the book! I want the book!” She was so angry that she was beyond comprehension. She screamed, stomped, clenched her fists and fought me. I couldn’t believe that it wasn’t even nine o’clock in the morning and we were already having a battle like this. I thought to myself, this could be the first of many.

I led her to her bed and said, “You are to lay down. You will not get up until I say so. No more books. No television. No toys. Nothing. Not until I say so.” Her behavior was so horrible, that she deserved to have our version of a spanking. But I was so upset, I knew that I would not administer it in the correct manner. For now, the time out would have to do.

But she did not submit. While she was horizontal, she was not still. Her fists were still clenched and she still screamed. She kicked at the wall, pounded her legs on the bed and roared in anger. All of this because I wouldn’t let her listen to the cricket.

I could have let her have her way. But while that would certainly make our reading time better in the short term, it would only encourage her tantrums in the long term. I did not want a little girl who screamed to get her way. I wanted a little girl who could control her emotions, who could comply with rules, who was nice to spend time with. How do I get that little girl?

This episode made me doubt everything. How could I not control her? I had been a public school teacher. My first year I had 27 fourth graders. Did I do a better job with those children than I’m doing with my own daughter? Why can’t I figure out a solution?

And then I prayed. God, I need help. Give me an idea. I need something that works. Fast.

I believe that God hears us and wants to give us practical solutions to our problems. Within minutes, I realized, or rather, God showed me, that the tools I used as a teacher would work with my daughter.

I was taught, as a teacher, to make rules clear to children. I was taught that they should take ownership of their behavior on a daily basis, that they should have things explained in their language, that they should have visual reminders of the rules and know precisely what the consequences are. Is it possible that I could implement this theory in my home?

After I calmed down, I came up with a plan.

In my daughter’s world, the greatest pictures of all were of princesses. On a piece of card stock, I had her draw four. One pink, one purple, one red and one yellow - two on each side. At the end of the cardstock are loops of ribbon, so that this card can be hung from a bulletin board, where she can reach it. One of the princesses will be seen at all times.

I talked to her about her behavior. I told her that how she spoke to me and how she acted was unacceptable. I told her that she should ask me to forgive her. She did.

Then I asked her how princesses should act. In her world, they were pretty. I said that pretty hair and eyes and pretty dresses are just part of a princess, what comes out of their mouth is also part of it. She understood this. I said, when you yell and scream and want something when I say no, you are ugly. You can’t be a princess like that.

“You can’t?” She was confused.

“They will not let you be a princess if you are ugly on the inside.” This sobered her. “I am going to help you be a princess with this card. Every morning you will be a pink princess. But, if you are naughty once, let’s say you say no to Mommy, then you become the purple princess.” Purple was always second to pink in her little mind. “If you do another naughty thing, then you become the yellow princess. If you are yellow, I’m taking away Baby Cinderella for the day.”

She gasped. She could not imagine life without her favorite dolly.

“If you do another naughty thing. If you go all the way to red, then,” I paused for effect. “Do you know what happens to you?”

“What?”

“You and Daddy will have a long talk in the bathroom. And you will not like it.” I was alluding to a spanking. She fully understood what I meant.

“But the good news is this: if you stay on pink all day long, you can watch a princess movie!” This was a real treat for her. She smiled and clapped her hands.

I didn’t stop there. I made her repeat to me what the steps were for each princess, for each level of offense. This would not have worked if she were not developmentally ready. Then we talked about what kind of behaviors should be punished. I was surprised at how many she came up with. Then, I allowed her to do the drawing and decorating of the card. This allowed her to take ownership of it and feel like it wasn’t a mandate from the mean Mommy. I also told her that her behavior of the morning put her on purple for the day. But tomorrow was a new day; she would start every morning on pink.

We hung it in a place where she could reach and flip it herself. When her brothers and sisters asked about it, she explained it with pride. I was amazed. And I prayed that this would work.

Over the next few days we consistently used the card. Any offense, saying no to me, using her hands in anger, disobeying, was punished by a flip to the next color princess. I could tell her to “flip to yellow” calmly without raising my voice. And she, surprisingly, felt more remorse. She was trying to stay on pink, and when she did, and Daddy saw at the end of the day, everyone celebrated with her.

In the next few weeks, her behavior changed dramatically. We could get through a day without a tantrum. Then it was a week. Then it was a month. She started staying on pink so frequently, that there wasn’t even a need to use the card. And I encouraged her often and I told her, “You are becoming such a beautiful princess. You are fun to be around. You are pretty on the outside and the inside.”

I even made a modified card for her brother with NFL teams on it. If he was well behaved, he was a Miami Dolphin. If he had three offenses, he was a Dallas Cowboy.

My daughter is now five and half. She is an entirely differently child than she was a year ago. Thanks to God, and his practical solutions, I enjoy being with her.

How to Make Your Own Card:
1. Consider if your child is developmentally able to handle this. My daughter was four. Not every four-year-old can get it. If your child can communicate to you what good and bad behavior is, then it’s likely this will work for him.
2. Make the illustration personal. My then six-year-old son would never have changed his behavior for princesses. By adding their least favorite colors and their least favorite teams for the worst level, they could sense the severity of the offenses. By letting them choose the pictures, and coloring them makes them proud of themselves.
3. Be clear what is acceptable and what is not. Your instructions to your child should always be specific. “Lower your voice and speak respectfully” is more effective than “Get your act together.”
4. Communicate to them that you’re working together as a team to help them become wise. They are not “bad”. When they do make mistakes, stay as calm as possible and remind them of the consequences.
5. Choose your rewards and consequences with care. Make them specific. You’ll know you have a sufficient consequence for bad behavior when they looked shocked. My son was not allowed to sleep with his stuffed penguins if he got to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. This was torture for him.
6. Be consistent. This will not work if you do it on Monday and Tuesday, but forget about it the rest of the week.
7. You can also use this when you are out. If you child acts up, just say, “When you get home, you’re flipping the card. And I will not forget about it.”

This has worked miracles in our family. It may work for yours too.

If you want to try this and have questions, leave a comment. Or if you try it, and it works, tell us about it!

Experiencing God’s Creation

2011-08-03T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Julie Wilson

A couple of weeks ago my family and I took a trip down to Hannibal, MO. We went to explore and take a tour of the Mark Twain Cave. My kids had never been in a real cave before, so they were all pretty excited.

It was awesome! Our tour guide did an excellent job telling us stories about the cave and giving fun facts about it. She even made all the kids jump when she turned off all the lights to show us how dark it truly is in the cave, and then yelled really loudly as she was telling a story in the dark.

When we got back to my sister’s house that night we were all still buzzing about the cave. It was a great opportunity for us to talk about the beauty of the cave and how awesome it was that God created it. A lot of times we don’t stop to recognize the wonder of God’s creation and His detail, but this was one of those moments when we had a great conversation talking about how much we do appreciate God’s magnificent creation and were just in awe of Him.

The next night my dad took all the kids outside to do some stargazing. He had his binoculars and all the kids took turns looking up into the sky. My sisters live out in the country, so the brilliance of the stars there is unlike what we see living in the city.

This was once again another opportunity for us to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation. I encourage you to find times this summer with your family to experience the beautiful world God graciously gave to us. What are ways you have done this in the past?

when a pet dies

2011-08-02T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Karen Brown

While on vacation this summer visiting my parents, their family dog passed away midway through our trip. It was a dog my children had met and played with many times before, but since we live across the country, not a pet they interacted with regularly. When my dad called me from the vet saying they had to put the dog to sleep, my mind raced with how I was going to explain to the children (ages 2, 5 and 7) what happened to Daisy. I hopped online hoping to find some wonderful article that would help me better field their questions: “Do dogs go to heaven?”, “What happens to her body?”, “Why did she have to die?” I wanted to answer them in age-appropriate ways that wouldn’t scare them, but also wanted to be truthful about what happens when something, or someone, dies.

To my surprise, my children really didn’t ask many questions. I explained in as few words as possible that Daisy was sick and died and that she wasn’t hurting anymore. When my daughter asked if she was in heaven, I told her that I wasn’t really sure, that the Bible doesn’t really say. But that the Bible does say that heaven is a beautiful place and it has everything we need. I expected to her to press me on the question at hand, but she really didn’t. I expect I got off easy that day. They did grieve in their own ways; they all cried saying they would miss her.

My oldest wrote notes and drew pictures for her grandparents of fun times she had with their beloved pet. Earlier in the week while walking Daisy, a greyhound, the dog spotted a rabbit and took off dragging Aiden across the grass a few yards. Not funny in the moment, but certainly humorous as we recalled funny pet stories.

I know this is a subject our family will have to address again in the future, I’m certain it’s just a matter of time.

How do you answer your children’s questions about the death of a pet? How do you explain what heaven will be like and who and what will be there? I imagine we will probably not know until we get there, but in the meantime, I’ve got some curious kids to answer to.

Under Three

2011-08-01T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Anna Hamman

Recently I read a newly published book for families with children who are under three years old. It is beautiful in its simplicity. It is mostly black and white photographs exhibiting two children playing and experiencing all kinds of things. There are captions to go with the images that give you simple ideas of how to play and encourage learning with your young child. Most of its message, however, is told through images.

In a world of so much parenting advice and toys and gadgets that can sometimes be conflicting in advice or overwhelming, this is a really simple book that is a refreshing reminder of how important play and simple low-cost or no-cost experiences with your children can be. I really enjoyed reading this and taking in some new ideas for play and learning with my 14 month old. There are so many possibilities! Take a look at the preview and the reviews on the website.

What are some of your favorite play experiences or games with your one to three year old?

How I Learned to Love Making Homemade Bread

2011-07-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

Ka-CLUNK! Ka-CLUNK! Ka-CLUNK!

From my kitchen came a clunking that awoke me from my precious sleep. This better be good, I thought. Since I was a mother of a two-month-old, I had a shoot-first-ask-questions-later type of mentality, especially at this time of night.

The culprit was my bread machine’s bucket, loose from his clips. When the kneading began, it clattered like a jackhammer inside the steel oven. My only solution was to hold the bucket in place with two hands until the kneading cycle stopped, which was a very long ten minutes.

Before bedtime, I had dutifully added the ingredients, set the timer and went to bed, expecting to have a fresh loaf for breakfast for me and my family. I foolishly assumed that only my infant would be reason enough to get me out of bed. I couldn’t think of anything else we could eat for breakfast. So, hold the machine I must.

This was the dough bucket’s second offense. The first was that it contained a tiny hole. If I poured the water in first, it would drip out the bottom. I solved this by putting 1/3 cup of flour in first. But I often forgot this step, made a mess on the counter and ate sub-standard bread.

Between the hole and the loose clips, I had a love/hate relationship with my bread machine. Bread became our most common breakfast since we bought a $9 bread maker from a thrift store. Daily I made bread in the machine, allowing me to completely boycott anything from a store. My family adored it so much, that when another mother came over and took out her loaf of store bought slices to share, my four-year-old daughter, said, “I don’t want that bread, there’s no love in it.”

Within two years, we wore out the thrift store machine and invested in a deluxe two-pound model that came highly recommended. It was this model that beckoned me to the kitchen that night and made me question whatever “love” was there.

Maybe it was my lack of sleep or my post-partum hormones, but I concluded that considering the trouble it took me to overcome the faults of this deluxe model, hand wash it daily, and prepare five or six loaves a week, making it by hand wouldn’t be any more trouble.

The next morning at breakfast, I issued a proclamation: “We are through with bread machine bread!” I swallowed hard and hesitantly stated, “I am going to start making it from scratch!”

My husband applauded the idea. He never shrinks from a challenge and appreciates quality over convenience (perhaps why he married me). He also had no desire to replace a $100 machine.

Should I have made such a statement? Even though I love to cook and I’ve become quite competent since my early days in marriage, I was intimidated by this bread-making idea. One could argue that the last thing a mother of five---especially with one being a newborn---should undertake, is a new project that a family is dependent on.

I decided I’d rather eat my mistakes than humble pie. So, I started collecting recipes and experimenting. In just a short week or so, my 3 a.m. conclusions were proven right. Methodically, I compared the two processes:
With a bread machine, it takes me (when I’m being most efficient) four minutes to read the recipe and fill the bucket. But it takes longer if I’ve forgotten to put in flour to plug up the hole. To meet my family’s needs, I do that at least five times a week. That’s 20+ minutes. That doesn’t count cleaning my bread pan out between loaves.

When I make bread by hand, I can make the dough for a five-loaf batch in 20 minutes also, including kneading. I have many more dirty dishes, but most of them go in the dishwasher (unlike the bread machine) and I only wash out the three big bowls once for every five loaves.

What I had not counted on was the discovery that the greatest difference between hand made bread and bread machine bread is the journey. And what a journey! I never knew how pleasant the details of making bread could be.

Watching yeast in the warm water bubble and expand as it consumes the sugar is fascinating. I marvel that such a tiny, living creature can make such a difference in the texture and size of the bread, not to mention the smell in my kitchen.

When I pour the salt into the white flour, I see two very distinct shades and textures of white, like colors on an artist’s palette. No one sees that in a bread machine.

I can watch the texture change as I stir the oil and water into the whole-wheat flour. I like the feel of the same wooden spoon in my hand as I stir, and the stirring challenges my muscles to endure the ride.

I like that I never make bread without thinking about my Gramma Lucy who, when making rolls in her lonely house, high on a hill in rural Oklahoma, squished them together so they came out kind of tall and skinny. I’m sad I’ll never taste them exactly that way again, no matter how hard I try.

I like watching the dough in the bowls on the stove as they creep up, raising the towel that covers them. It reminds me of my waistline when my shirts stretch over it, making room for a baby.

I cheer with my kids when the rolls come out of the oven, Everybody wants one immediately. With butter. Sometimes jelly too.

I find it comforting that my family eats this bread for breakfast several days a week and that my children are more familiar with me holding a wooden spoon in my hand than a cereal box.

I learn something more about the craft of it every time I bake. It keeps me humble. I like that there are still little discoveries to be made, like that cold water works best when cleaning up.

I can easily measure ingredients and measure time and labor involved but I can’t quantify any of the nuances of my own observations. I also know that it’s just flour, water, salt, oil and yeast and heat, a chemical reaction. But my conclusion is that I’d rather savor the sacrament of bread-making than push a button and hope for the best.

Most importantly, if for no other reason, I love making bread by hand because it’s quiet. Old-fashioned bread can be made in silence. The best things are often made that way. And it's cheap. And it's healthy. And there's no high fructose corn syrup or milk products (my daughter's allergic to dairy) to worry about.

If I can do this, you can too. It takes practice, patience and a willingness to eat your mistakes. The recipe I make for my family is the following, times five.

Honey Oat Bread

1 C warm water (110 degrees is perfect!)
1 TB oil
3 TB honey
1 tsp salt
3-5 C flour
3/4 C oats
2 tsp yeast

In a small bowl, dissolve yeast and honey in warm water. Wait 10 minutes until yeast is foamy and bubbly. Add oil,salt, and 1 C flour. Beat well. Slowly add in remaining flour and oats until dough is easy to knead and not moist.

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until smooth and elastic. (I count to one hundred.) Place in a large, well oiled bowl. Cover, and allow to rise until dough doubles in bulk. This usually takes 90 minutes.

Shape into loaf. Place in greased, 9 x 5 inch pan, turning loaf over in pan to grease top. Allow to rise until dough doubles in bulk. This takes about 1 hour.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 35 minutes. Let cool before slicing.

Chalkboard encouragement

2011-07-28T03:00:00.002-04:00

By Karen Brown

As a mom of three little ones, I feel like the majority of my day is spent telling kids no. “No, that’s not for touching”, “no running, please walk”, “No, we don’t bite our sister when we’re mad.” I want to be a mom that encourages my kids more in what they are doing right, rather than feeling like I have just told them what not to do all day.

I know, for me, that if I don’t have a plan, I’m not always intentional about following through. I came up with the idea for chalkboards as a way to let my kids know what they did that day that we were really proud of and appreciated. My hope is that the chalkboards can become part of our dinner time routine each night.

I used $1 chalkboards from Michaels and paint pens. I was inspired by designs I saw by Mary Kate McDevitt and by Shanna Murray. We went with the phrase “It was awesome when you _____ today!" We just use chalk markers to fill in the blank.

REUNION recently did a message on encouraging kids and how to give them intentional praise as opposed to empty praise. You can listen to the podcast here.

How do you intentionally encourage and praise your kids?

Turn it up!

2011-07-27T03:00:00.000-04:00

By Katharine Grubb

“If God really loved us,” I pondered to my friend, Michelle, when an unusually long church service was over, “wouldn’t He have designed us an extra arm and hand with the birth of each baby?”

I asked this because my six-month-old was teething, my three-year-old was upset that her jacket was not pink and my four-year-old was having another allergic reaction, all simultaneously. So, this question, while not theologically solid, seemed quite reasonable.

“Oh, but if we did,” Michelle answered, equally stressed - she was a few years and a few pregnancies ahead of me - “In addition to having very strange clothes, God might bless us with 36 children.”

So I was stuck, with a little more than I could manage. And I only had two hands. Now, I was experienced enough to know that the infant could be put down in the car seat. He was the easiest of the three, at least for a few months.

But the girls…what about the toddlers? At ages 3 and 4, they were constantly running around, fussing, scribbling and processing the world around them faster than I could manage. And the problem was not just a Sunday-at-church problem, it was a home problem too. I could park them in front of the television, but I’d rather occupy them with something that was a little more stimulating, something a little more educationally nutritious.

The solution was not another appendage, but appliances!

My CD player and iPod!

With audio, I can keep them busy and “feed” those growing brains! Over the years, my kids (now five there are of them) are in the habit of listening almost as much as watching. The habit that we started in preschool is now strengthening them academically.

AUDIO FOR PRESCHOOLERS
The first and simplest audio resources are the book and tape/CD combination. A book like The Runaway Bunny can include a CD with a professional actor (or the author) telling the story. Often these books have music in the background or audible signals like a beep that tell a listener when to turn the page.

By listening to the CD and looking at the book simultaneously, the preschooler is:
• Understanding the left-to-right progression of a book
• Strengthening attention skills
• Understanding a correspondence between oral and written words
• Developing a positive emotional connection with books and reading
• Strengthening skills in following directions, like “turn the page at the beep”
• Being introduced to elements such as characters, plot and setting

Subtly, these skills will develop a necessary educational foundation before actual reading ever occurs. Don’t forget, your public library is a great resource for acquiring book/tape or book/cd combos. Online catalogs can make this very convenient. See you local branch for more information on how to do this.

WHEN TO START?
My preschoolers were ready for this at about age 3, but everyone is different. A preschooler is ready for an audio book when he can:
• Sit through a reading of a picture book with a parent
• Mentally follow a short story
• Simply describe what is happening in an illustration
• Can be trusted not to rip, damage or eat a book

Starting with their favorite books and easing into it a few minutes at a time, a toddler (ages 2-4) or a pre-reader (ages 3-7) can develop a taste for reading that can grow into a life long love.

WHEN THEY’RE READY FOR MORE
Even though their independent reading skills are not ready for a chapter book, a preschooler’s mental skills may be strong enough for more complex stories, more colorful characters and more complicated plots.

This is where the chapter book comes in. A chapter book, like Charlotte’s Web, on CD strengthens those reading skills, satiating a hunger for more intellectual challenges.

In an e-mail interview, writer and educator Susan Wise Bauer said,

“My own children listened to unabridged books on tape and CD from the time they were babies, for at least two hours per day. They developed enormous vocabularies, far beyond their age and grade level. They learned to love long, complex books (long books were favorites because they took up so much time!). They listened to books which were far above their technical reading level--and then went to find the print versions of the books. And they all developed a wonderful ear for written language. All four of my children--even the ones who are not naturally language-focused--write well, because there is so much good, fluent, stylish language in their memories.”

So God, as you can see, didn’t give me another hand. With the help of audio, my preschoolers grew stronger, cognitively that is. They learned to sit still (even for a short time). They practiced their listening skills. Their readiness for reading was strengthened. They were introduced to the technical aspects of reading. Their relationship with books was gently nurtured. And they were exposed to great literature. (And I was able to go to the bathroom!)

And that was a huge answer to prayer.

Meet: Kirsten Strand

2011-07-25T02:00:00.001-04:00

By Kirsten Strand & Karen Brown

Kirsten Strand lives in Aurora, Illinois with her husband Scott, sons Erik (age 13) and Brian (age 12), and their dog Lucy. She is the Director of Community 4:12, the Compassion & Justice Ministry of Community Christian Church, a multi-site church with 14 (and counting) locations . She is deeply passionate about addressing the “injustices” and inequalities that people living in poverty face and about bringing people together across racial, cultural, and economic differences. She believes that everyone is rich in some ways and everyone is poor in some ways, and only by coming together can we help address each other’s poverty. Check out her blog.

Question: Do you have a specific vision for your family that's beyond just surviving the day?

If so, how do you keep your vision in all the chaos? When my husband and I got married 17 years ago, we went on what we called a “Family Summit.” We went off to a cabin in the woods away from all technology and people and wrote a Family Mission Statement and dreamed about our future. Every year since then, we have gone on a “Family Summit.” The kids started joining us when they were in elementary school, and they have gotten more and more involved each year. We go away for three nights and spend time evaluating how we have done as a family in the past year in sticking with our mission (which was revised when they were old enough to have input) and accomplishing any goals we’d set the year before. We dream and pray together and work through any conflicts or tensions that haven’t been resolved. Our family motto is, “A cord of [4] Strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12). We try to model the idea that if we all stick together and keep God at the center of what we do, we can get through anything. The Summit weekend is the highlight of the year for all of us, and recharges and refocuses us for the coming year.

Question: Are there any routines that you’ve incorporated into your daily schedule that help foster faith formation in your children?

Despite our hectic schedules, we try very hard to eat dinner together most nights of the week. We do a family prayer before that with everyone sharing something they are thankful for or a request they have. We are not a particularly “spiritual” family in terms of doing family devotions or lots of praying together, but we are on a “mission” together as a family in an under-resourced community, so we hope that our lifestyle choices and efforts to put our faith into action are influencing our kids’ faith journey.

Question: Do you have any practical tips that you have found especially helpful in managing your household?

I am an off-the-chart “beaver,” so planning ahead and being organized comes naturally, and at times drives the 3 other “otters” in my house crazy. One thing that saves me during the week is that I plan and cook most meals ahead of time (on the weekends) and freeze them so that I don’t have to worry about cooking during the week and so that we won’t have to be tempted to swing through the drive-through. We also have a rule that the house/bedrooms get completely picked up every weekend, but I don’t stress too much about the mess during the week. I have learned to be okay with having “book bags” and “bat bags” sprawled around the living room.

Question: What are some practical ways in which you help your children think and care about others around them?

When my kids were very young, my husband and I made some significant life choices that have significantly influenced the life my kids have lived. I joined the staff at our church to start a ministry to help Christ-followers address poverty and justice issues. My husband left his corporate job and went back to school to get his teaching degree so he could teach and impact kids in under-resourced schools. We then moved from a mostly White, affluent suburb to an under-resourced and mostly Hispanic community so that we could be a part of helping to restore that community. My kids have come with us to serve at homeless shelters or with refugees since they were toddlers. Their best friends are what society would label as “poor Mexican immigrants.” We helped start a bilingual campus of our church in our neighborhood so that we can worship with our friends who don’t speak English. We also hope that we have shown them that Jesus cares more about “loving” the poor than he does about “serving” the poor. Jesus wasn’t anyone’s volunteer. He was their friend. And that is what we hope to help our children be.